Debating on what to do
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
I actually have asked her about what she would like me to do in full detail. The last 8 months I feel I've done that. She feels that the vibes I give off are ones of me not caring about her. I'm not a super emotional person, nor do I wear them on my sleeve. She feels that she should be able to ask me anything no matter how many times, and I'm not supposed to get irritated or upset about talking about the past constantly. I should take it.
QUOTE=Gottalife;6295668]I am at a loss to offer relationship advice. What you should do is between you your partner, and God. I did wonder though if, when making your amends, you have asked her what she wants you to do to make good the harm. If you have asked her, and done what she asked, I don't see what else you can do other than continue to demonstrate the spiritual life through your actions.[/QUOTE]
QUOTE=Gottalife;6295668]I am at a loss to offer relationship advice. What you should do is between you your partner, and God. I did wonder though if, when making your amends, you have asked her what she wants you to do to make good the harm. If you have asked her, and done what she asked, I don't see what else you can do other than continue to demonstrate the spiritual life through your actions.[/QUOTE]
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Getright: You sound like a good man who is trying to do his best. Doesn't your wife understand that alcoholism is an illness? She appears to be blaming you for having been a "bad" man and for being "insensitive" to her feelings. If you were "insensitive" you would not be hanging in there and trying to make it work, Could it be that you're being sober robs her of her former role of "caring" for you even though she thought you were being "bad", thus boosting her own self esteem, her role as the "misunderstood and ill treated, long suffering spouse"? She has the option to leave you. Why does she stick around and insist on making you feel bad and guilty about the past? The past is past. Maybe the best thing for you at the present time is to just say nothing. See whether time can heal these wounds. Every good wish.
Bill
Bill
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by getright15 
Hey Tom....
I had to go back and read what you wrote to me again. It's very close an familiar to what my grandsponsor says about not engaging in those types of discussions. Trust me it doesnt get any better when I don't either, but not doing it at all would probably be the best route.
I had to go back and read what you wrote to me again. It's very close an familiar to what my grandsponsor says about not engaging in those types of discussions. Trust me it doesnt get any better when I don't either, but not doing it at all would probably be the best route.
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