Volshen

I can put together about 4 days .. convince myself im done drinking ..then get a craving and drink.

This is the scariest thing I have ever dealt with .. not being able to trust my own mind.

biminiblue

Those cravings are going to continue for quite a while after you quit.

The trick is having an answer to "them."

The cognitive dissonance is a big reason why people have so much trouble. We call it the Addictive Voice (AV).

I decided early-on that I would not drink, no matter what. No matter what the voice told me. No matter what happened. No matter what thoughts I had. Thoughts cannot kill me, but the alcohol can and will.

Start again. Stick close to this site. Stay away from slippery places for a while. Eat. Sleep, take a walk. Stay busy.

entropy1964

Yeah the addicted brain is very strange. There's an addict inside me that wants alcohol. Its sneaky. When AA says 'cunning, baffling, powerful' they aint kidding.

I keep typing and deleting. Ok so bottom line? I need a program. Not 'my' program but A program. For me that's AA.

I cannot do this on 'my' programs terms. My program usually involves drinking.

Mountainmanbob

Helps many to attend one AA meeting per day in the beginning of their sobriety. Some even say to do 90 in 90?

I was willing to do whatever it took.

AA, counseling, church and Bible studies.

This site also helps.

M-Bob

tomls

One thing I think helped me this time was if I didn't stop drinking and using I was going to die a miserable death and torture all the people that love me all the way there!

Volshen

I have a good job now .. girlfriend is back, though she will leave if she catches me drinking ... decent car .. money..

Everything is in place for a good life yet this stupid addiction won't let up

STDragon

some suggest journaling. I didn't journal but at the start, I did rejoice in every little tiny change for the better each day.

Nonsensical

+1 Buddy

The thought that part of my brain was working against my self-interest was probably THE MOST DIFFICULT THING I had to learn how to deal with.

AVRT helped immensely. Being able to separate the addicted part of my brain (my addiction) from what was truly me was crucial in my recovery. Check this out:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

You're at the doorstep. Knock and come in.
You can do this.

August252015

What are you doing during those few sober days? How about trying something different? A plan of action is what got and keeps me sober- now might be a perfect time to try AA - committing to the 90 (meetings) in 90 (days) people suggest, or even 30 in 30.....give your mind time to clear, because none of us could trust our minds til that began to happen!

Hope to see you around here. The Class of January group would be another good place to visit.

january161992

once i was regularly attending meetings my desire to drink ended

Mentium

I recommend meetings too. I'm not into the spiritual side at all but the fellowship - being in the same room as people who know exactly what it is like can be really powerful. The last two meetings I attended I went into feeling a bit gloomy and left feeling very up-beat!

I also think - and this is a lesson I think I am just beginning to learn - that it is OK to feel crap for a while. Go to bed, sit and slob in front of the TV and don't think feeling crap means you have to cave. I believe people who say it gets better!

aasharon90

The house, car, girlfriend, jobs, all that STUFF,
people, places or things ain't or isn't gonna keep
us sober. You've got to do this for you because
no one and nothing is gonna care more than you,
yourself.

Arm yourself with all the knowledge you
can learn about addiction and learn a program
of recovery to help you live a sober/clean
life worth living for.

It's more than just putting the plug in
the jug if you want to be successful
in life and recovery.

Ask yourself, how much do I, you, we
want it?

Also, look at those who went back
out and have returned to let us know
alcohol is good and dandy and is giving
them everything they want in life. Is
the best thing that ever happen to them.

You will find NO ONE has. Not one
single person can truthfully tell us
that alcohol or drugs is working for
them.

NO ONE...!!!!!

Gottalife

My last drink was a four day bender. It would have been two beers and home, which was the plan, except that an overpowering craving developed AFTER the first one. At the end of four days I was too sick to drink any more, and after a couple of days the alcohol was out of my system and I had no more cravings of that type.

The main problem was in my mind. My drinking was characterised by swearing off in the morning, with good reason, yet forgetting all about that later, and taking the fatal first drink.

I needed to find a defence against that first drink, which is where AA came in. After the last bender, I committed completely to the AA program, steps, sponsor, meetings. I had realised that the thing I most needed to do was find this higher power that people talked about. I put all my focus on that, and had no more uncontrollable urges. I have not needed to drink since.

Algorithm

As Mike pointed out, the cravings are usually over after four days without drinking. I would wager that they are more like "thoughts" or "feelings" than cravings, such as you had when the alcohol was first wearing off, on the first or second day.

Can these thoughts or feelings purchase alcohol and pour drinks?

There are actually two of you in there at this point. In AA, they call it the alcoholic mind, or the mental obsession, but I call it the Addictive Voice (AV).

Addictive Voice: Any thinking or feeling that supports, or even suggests, any possible future use of alcohol, ever.

Example: "You can have a little, if you're careful."

Everything Else: Volshen - You.

Example: "It wants me to drink, but I never drink."

Recognize the AV, and trust yourself, but don't trust the Addictive Voice. The AV wants you to drink, and it does not care what you have to say about it, so don't waste your time debating with the AV. It will only interpret a debate as a negotiation on the terms of your surrender.

Hope this helps.

DontRemember

I was never big on AA until I actually went to a meeting(court ordered and I, silently, thank that judge daily because I needed it). I'm still not sure what my 'higher power' is but, I can attest to not even thinking about drinking after I leave a meeting. You don't have to talk,it's free,ect..But, I found out talking to 'like minded' people really helps me. I consider it free therapy. I went to my first 'speaker meeting' and I took A LOT away from that! It's quite amazing when you have people with 2-35+ years in sobriety sharing. All you have to do is walk through the door.

2muchpain

Maybe look at it this way. Your addiction has one goal and that's to take all those good things away from you, and then some. Don't underestimate the power of your addiction. Gotta take action. Not easy, but an absolute must.
Like others have said, try to get as much support as you can. The more the better. AA, SMART, counseling, SR, etc. Surround yourself with a program of recovery. John

DontRemember

ALL of those will vanish if you continue drinking. You can only hide your continued drinkinking from the gf for so long..Once she leaves, you'll hit the bottle harder, there goes the job,money and car. You have to want this and understand that,with time, it ALL will come crashing down! You can look at my past threads and see where I went and am still dealing with because of booze.

Deereynolds

I get it... I always relapsed on day 4.

Check out some different recovery methods. I was solid in AA for two years, and this time I'm trying rational recovery and I'm on day 5! You can do it.

That voice in you that wants to drink - that's not really you. That's your alcoholism. It can't hurt you unless you physically take a drink. Thoughts aren't facts.

It helped ,e to check myself into a psych ward for 3 days to get some help passing the roughest days. I really didn't want to but I did and I feel much better for it.


I also have everything to lose - car, boyfriend, job, school. A good life is easier to keep than to build.


Hang in there. Things alwayS get better in sobriety.

LadyBlue0527

THIS THIS THIS THIS and THIS! Did I say THIS?

Take a look at my signature line. Until you come to the conclusion that there will never be a reason that is true, or that you can invent, that will give you an excuse to drink you'll never get past it. I don't mean to make light of how hard this is but it's true. There is so much out there to help cement what you need to do in order to follow through with not drinking. But, at the end of the day the only thing that really works is full acceptance that there is NO option to drink. Ever. Then, deal with it one day at a time.

Anna

And, I found that when I decided there would be no more alcohol, ever, no matter what, my thinking began to shift and I began to find healthy ways to manage my life.