Failure again
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Originally Posted by Pinky1 
Thank you I had a bath tonight not drank kept on water with fresh lemon. Going to bed shortly with a hot chocolate. Will be looking forward to waking up sober 
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 142
Originally Posted by Pinky1
I think I fool myself into believing I can be a social drinker. My husband had a couple of glasses of wine Saturday night and I thought I will just have a glass. I never bought wine but there was some in the garage from Christmas so outside I go fetch in a couple of bottles and virtually polished them off. The one bottle I hid so I could have a "secret" top up. It's madness.
He will only have a drink Saturday and possibly Sunday but not much.
I know I can never drink again I'm just fooling myself
He will only have a drink Saturday and possibly Sunday but not much.
I know I can never drink again I'm just fooling myself
I woke up on January 1 and admitted to myself that I cannot moderate and I am an alcoholic.
Good wishes to you for sobriety from here on out!
ABW1
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
I'd tell myself I could be a social drinker, too. So I put some memories in the brain's old rolodex for why I can't be a social drinker. I bet you have some of your own but here are a few of mine for inspiration:
the time in June when I was secretly refilling my wine glass from the box in the pantry, while my in laws were visiting, and I spilled wine on myself and stumbled and slurred, and looked across the kitchen to them just staring at me.
TMI to people who don't catch my eye anymore, because they don't want to hear whatever dark strange thing I said to them that night I was trying to be a social drinker.
Those mornings where I wake up still a little drunk, when I had just gone out to have one drink. How many of those mornings?
I like math. So, I add up all of the "social drinking" days. Be honest. The times I went out or socialized at home, only to slam some after when I was alone.... those don't count. Only a night where I drank a reasonable amount (one or two) and then stopped drinking. That's one side of the scale. The other side is all of the nights I over did it. Also where I drank before going to socialize and acted like I drank normally... those go on the "not social drinking" side. Social drinking is one or two drinks, socially, with a stop, that's not hard to do, but natural to do, and usually the person doesn't drink again until the next naturally occurring social occasion. And the social occasion isn't about the alcohol, but the actual socializing, which is why as an alcoholic it's usually really hard to navigate.
I haven't had a normal drink since my early twenties.
Thinking this way gave me good fodder for "playing the tape".
the time in June when I was secretly refilling my wine glass from the box in the pantry, while my in laws were visiting, and I spilled wine on myself and stumbled and slurred, and looked across the kitchen to them just staring at me.
TMI to people who don't catch my eye anymore, because they don't want to hear whatever dark strange thing I said to them that night I was trying to be a social drinker.
Those mornings where I wake up still a little drunk, when I had just gone out to have one drink. How many of those mornings?
I like math. So, I add up all of the "social drinking" days. Be honest. The times I went out or socialized at home, only to slam some after when I was alone.... those don't count. Only a night where I drank a reasonable amount (one or two) and then stopped drinking. That's one side of the scale. The other side is all of the nights I over did it. Also where I drank before going to socialize and acted like I drank normally... those go on the "not social drinking" side. Social drinking is one or two drinks, socially, with a stop, that's not hard to do, but natural to do, and usually the person doesn't drink again until the next naturally occurring social occasion. And the social occasion isn't about the alcohol, but the actual socializing, which is why as an alcoholic it's usually really hard to navigate.
I haven't had a normal drink since my early twenties.
Thinking this way gave me good fodder for "playing the tape".
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