CODad3

So this time I'm seriously giving it everything I have. I'm 28, have two wonderful daughters and a great wife. I didn't touch the juice until my 21st birthday. My girlfriend/fiancee at the time passed away 2 days prior and I was by her side through the whole thing.. really messed me up.

I guess that's where things went wrong..about the same time they started. I didn't drink for pleasure, I drank to numb myself. A 6 pack of Fat Tire lasted me 6 nights, I remember those days. Nowadays I'd be lucky to be drunk enough after polishing off a fifth of whiskey. I went from around 180lbs up to 250lbs, then up to a whopping 350lbs a few years later. Before I started drinking I was active and fit and enjoyed life... alcohol distracted me from all that...

Fast forward 5 years, I'm obese, unhappy, and suicidal. I quit the juice. Cold turkey. It was bad, but xanax became my best friend and led me down it's own cruel path. I managed to ween myself off of that and still maintained sobriety from alcohol. I lost a TON of weight, back down to 245 and looking great, feeling great and I was active again, daily!

I made it just under a year when I convinced myself that I was better. One beer isn't gonna hurt right? If it's more than that one, I'll just stop again..

Ha. Back up to a fifth a night, every night. Back up to almost 300 lbs. I feel horrible and disgusting and like I let my family and myself down.

12/31/16 was my last hoorah. So now I'm looking at 10 days of sobriety and I feel like trash. I'm more pissed I put the weight back on, the juice... that's just a feeling of desire that comes and goes... but looking at myself in the mirror or bending and moving all day and just constantly being reminded of the weight gain is what's eating me up.

I'm back on my quest for 245. I'm down 4 lbs so far, 10 days in. I've been eating incredibly healthily, been working out and doing cardio almost every single day, I'm really honestly giving it all I've got.

winniegirl33

I know how u feel. Drinking puts awful weight on me. Ifeel like a fat blob. Luckily I'm really active at work or I would be morbidly obese. On the other hand my job is very "looks" orientated and I feel,like I'm losing out bc of the extra weight. And lets not forget the bloat in my face. Well, best of luck to u. U did it once u can definitely do it again😊

Dee74

Welcome to SR CODad

D

D122y

co,

Welcome. I was 245 when I quit 20 months ago. I lost 30 lbs. since then.

I work out 4 to 6 times a week. I replaced booze w fitness.

I say that I went from a party animal to a gym rat.

The anxiety was a living hell for many months. It didn't really start to clear up until about a year or so.

It wears you down. That is why folk have trouble getting past a year.

Plus w each relapse, they say, it get harder to quit.

I relapsed about 1000 times without knowing it.

I treat myself as an addict. I could have easily lost everything. So, each day clean is a gift.

Never drinking again...one day at a time.

Thanks.

DesertDawg

Welcome CODad,

Congratulations on getting back on the horse, bud. Some would say you've already gotten through the hard part. I don't know about that, but you're definitely headed back in the right direction, and the first ten days can be really tough, so you're over that. As Winnie pointed out, you've been there before, you can definitely do it again. It seems like you had a plan in place and you were doing it... you just maybe got little complacent? Now you know better; you know what you're doing, and you know where that first drink will take you, and you know that's a non-starter this time. Seems to me like you just need to keep executing, and give it time, and you'll be where you need to be.

Best of luck, man!

leviathan

Keep at it. On rooting for you.

SnazzyDresser

I gained a lot of weight drinking as well, CODad3. It really messed with my idea of who I was. I'm down quite a bit from last year, still working on it. As long as we don't drink, the good things tend to happen.

columbus

Weird thing about weight gain it's so minutely incremental on a day-to-day basis that you don't notice it until all of a sudden, Whoomp, there it is!

Good luck on your journey, CODad3. Looks like you've got a lot to live for.

CODad3

Y'all rock! Thanks everybody!

Chifan7

Keep up the good work. I'm also on day 10, also trying to lose 40 pounds of alcohol weight I've put on in the last 5 years. Let's do this!!

DontRemember

I don't admit this often but, said it in a meeting. "If I kept/keep drinking, I was going to die by either the bottle or a bullet." I remember that Nov day/night like it was yesterday. I had just gotten my court order from my 2nd DUI..Ex gf seeing someone else..Me bottle of vodka,countless beers in the fridge and my pistol. I had the next Wen picked out for my death.. I don't consider myself a religious person..BUT I prayed,to what/who I don't know, but I asked someone for help. Not to get my ex back but, to get myself/sanity back. I'm still here and I'm working my program. AA is one of my tools,meditation and prayer(still not sure to who/what) are another. Working out and talking daily to my close friends who watched me spiral out of control and stuck by me. Obviously some friends have distanced themselves but, I'll cross that road when I can.

I guess I'm just saying..build a solid plan and work it. Goodluck and stay strong!

Delilah1

Welcome to SR CoDad!

JackDsMissus

Welcome Can totally relate with so much of your story. I used to run marathons, now I'm probably 40bs overweight and hadn't run in 2 years :/ But hey we're sober now and we can do something about it! Lets do this x

fgo

Welcome codad

site1Q84

Welcome! Glad you decided to jump back on the sober train!

Losing weight can be hard, but if i put half the time I put into drinking back into working out, it starts to come off pretty quick!