SoberLifeForMe

I went to a men's group AA meeting tonight. I'm still not really sold on the efficacy of AA, but I figured it can't actually hurt, so I had nothing to lose.

It was a decent group of guys. I could have done without the vulgar language they used at times, as that just isn't who I am, but overall, it was a positive experience. It was a step meeting, and today they were on step one.

I'm planning on going back tomorrow for a mixed meeting, also a step meeting. I start IOP next Monday, so once that gets going, I'll be doing that every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday for a while, so the Monday night group I attended tonight will be out until I'm done with that.

If I choose to continue with AA during/after IOP, I already have a sponsor in mind. He's someone that goes to my church and is a genuinely good man. I believe he's been sober for four years, but it might actually be longer.

Anyway, just wanted to check in. I hope everyone is doing well and persevering in their sobriety.

Dee74

I'm glad you found it positive overall

D

D122y

Slfm,

Agree. Alky.s come in all varieties.

Life time Unemployed to self made Billionaire. Hope I don't offend anyone.

I was worried about some of the folks at my meetings. They talked about beating people up, taking revenge, suicide, broken homes etc etc.

That, mixed w the trickled and cryptic amount if info. I could pull out of folks caused me to not desire to go back. So far....

There were some attractive younger girls as well. I felt there was some potential drama generating there as well.

SR has helped me tons. It gave me information. That is what I needed to win my sobriety back...so far...

Knowing that relapse happens to folks w way more sober time then me keeps me humbly coming back here almost daily.

Thanks.

Delilah1

I'm glad you went, and have a plan until you start IOP next week!

entropy1964

I'm still not really sold on the efficacy of AA,

What is it you're not 'sold' on? Really more curious than anything else.

I'm guess I wanted to say that I get out of a program what I put in. I believe that there are many programs that can help an alcoholic achieve sobriety. But none of them will work without a huge, all in commitment. "Half measures availed us nothing"....I believe that to be true. The whole 'works if you work it' thingy....absolutely true. Its not a passive program that 'acts' on the addiction.
I say this because I know from experience I struggle with the action part daily. So the efficacy of the program is up to you, not the program...if that makes sense. Ok, think I posted this more for my own edification! Thanks

Good luck.

48heath

Pleased you went to a meeting.AA works if you want it enough,it's that simple.

If you keep going to the meetings you will come across every sort of person that populates this World.

It is not the meetings that keep you sober,it is getting a sponsor and working the 12 step programme of recovery.

Please keep coming back and I wish you well.

August252015

Glad you went and it was a positive experience. I know that in some meeting I attend the leader makes a remind about foul language; it has been a past problem in those, I suppose! Most are "clean" or judiciously funny

If you keep going back, you will keep learning. A sponsor is a terrific- I believe crucial- idea. I didn't get one immediately because I was already 100% in on AA and didn't find anyone I wanted to approach; plenty of folks will tell you to get one right away, and that is probably an even better idea if you have "doubts" about the program.

Many people have said- and I agree- that AA may not be the only solution, but it works for them...so why try something else?

Good luck.

Doug39

I had mixed feelings after my first AA meeting.

After going to several meetings I started getting more out of it and liking it more.

I have met a lot of good people and have yet to get a sponsor or made any close friends but that takes time.

Bunny211

Glad you went! You can try out several meetings. I pretty much exclusively go to step meetings. Some of the open speaker/discussion meetings feel like a bar room to me. With everyone trying to one-up each other. And the girls getting all tarted up to flounce around in front of the guys...I'm like, you JUST got out of detox! Sit the heck down!

So...I go to step meetings only (pretty much). And I try to go to as many women's meetings as possible.

SoberLifeForMe

Hi, Frickaflip. What I'm not sold on, frankly, is that AA actually works better than any other form of recovery. I get that you get out of it, or any other program, for that matter, what you put into it. I really do.

Here's the funny thing. I'm heavily involved in my church and have a very strong faith. Yet, I wish there were more data that AA actually does what it claims. Unfortunately, because of the anonymous nature of it, objective quantitative data on recovery efficacy are virtually impossible with AA.

I don't see faith and science as opposed to one another. In fact, I see them as complimentary of each other. I believe my faith can help me, in a certain way, achieve sobriety. I also believe, though, in science. AA was developed in the early part of the last century. Research on addiction and recovery has progressed since then. Has AA kept pace with newer discoveries? I honestly don't know. Maybe someone else can chime in.

This is all about discovery for me. I still plan to go back to another meeting tonight, and I'm not at all ruling AA out of my recovery. I just am unsure about it. I'll also be listening to my counselors when I start IOP and if they advise that I continue AA, I'll certainly take that into consideration.

Lastly, I stumble on step one. From a Christian perspective, step one comes across as very Calvinist to me. That's fine, if that's your belief system. Unfortunately, that's not my belief system, so I struggle to get past it. Please don't take this as a dig at Calvinists. To each their own. If it works for you, fantastic! I just personally struggle with the idea of powerlessness over an inanimate object.

I actually also love steps four and five. They have been a part of my faith well before I admitted I was an alcoholic, and will continue to be part of my recovery, regardless if I continue with AA.

Anyway, these are just my thoughts. Again, I'm still planning to go back to another meeting tonight, and start IOP on Monday. I'm willing to learn and to have my mind change. I'm pretty much open to everything at this point. But that doesn't stop me from questioning and investigating. I'm relatively new in my recovery journey, and want to do whatever it takes to get me from the darkness of where I was to the light of where I know I need to be.

Pax vobiscum!

site1Q84

Glad you're trying new things!

I'm not totally sold on all of AA either, but there are parts of it that I like and that help me, so I use those parts to my advantage. Everyone is different, and different things will work for different people. I think it's a great idea to try as many roads to recovery as you can (books, meetings, websites) and see what sticks and helps keep you where you need to be

Doug39

For me their are good and bad things about AA.

I don't like some of the ancient beliefs they still use in the Big Book that was published in 1939.

I also find that at some meetings some people dominate the conversation and/or go on and on and say the same things over and over. But then again some people are just like that and like to talk about themselves.

I do like the support and the feeling that I belong and am with people that can identify with the problems I face.

SoberCAH

I was dubious as to AA's efficacy after my first meeting, which was when I first got out of the detox portion of treatment.

But I was rather light on options, because my career was circling the drain as a result of my chronic alcoholism.

I hung around, though, and actually pursued the program vigorously, which I still do.

And I haven't had a drink since that time.

God, AA and sobriety have given me a splendid life, which I tried but failed to find on my own.

I am the only AA statistic with which I concern myself and AA has worked 100% for me.

I don't purport to speak for any of the other programs of recovery, and I don't know their respective long term sobriety success rates.

Others can speak for them.

AA has worked for me for a very long time, so I will continue working its program of recovery..

january161992

yea im not crazy about the swearing at mens meetings also

here we have ~570 weekly meetings to choose from

so ive never had a problem finding a mens/ mixed/ speaker or otherwise kind of meeting to go to

january161992

Doug39

I have yet to try an all men's meeting but I don't know why they would have to swear just because women are not present.

Hell, some of the women I have meant throughout my life (especially at bars) have had some pretty nasty language.

SoberLifeForMe

Yeah, and I'm not really a rube. I simply don't understand the value that foul language adds to any dialogue. I mean, sure, if I stub my toe, I might let out a choice word without thinking. But in the normal course of conversation, I don't get how dropping an F-bomb, or, in particular, taking God's name in vain adds anything to a constructive conversation. The latter, in particular, I actually find quite offensive, so when I heard that used at the meeting last night, I just bit my tongue and tried not to focus on it.

Sorry, not trying to nitpick. A lot of the guys at the meeting had been sober a long time. One since 1977. Obviously, something there is working for them. I just need to try to work past some of my issues and reservations, I think. Maybe it will work for me in the long run, or at least supplement some of the tools I pick up in IOP.

Gottalife

I am not a supporter of the men's meetings. Single sex meetings don't fit well with trad three or the objective of getting back into the main stream of life. Bad language, denigration of women, fear of women have been unpleasant observations from my limited experience.

You can get all kinds of experiences in the meetings, even mixed ones. Discussion groups are a good forum for drama and bad language as well. Literature based meetings seem to attract those who are serious about recovery. The formats don't leave room for drama, so the drama queens stay away.

It is important to remember that the AA program of recovery is not the meetings. It is done away from the meetings and is all about how we live in the real world for the other 23 hours when we are not at a meeting.

aasharon90

Im with you on the vulgar language some
use and is just simply a turn off. Thank
goodness there are so many different
meeting available for us to chose from
and feel comfortable in remembering
I am there to listen, learn, absorb and
apply how to remain sober each day
incorporating steps and principles all
to the best of my human ability by those
who are paving the way for me to follow
and live a sober life by building a strong,
solid recovery foundation along the way.

Cussing or a fowl mouth doesn't show
humility to me, imo.

Keep up the positive healthy recovery
work on yourself and those around you.

tomsteve

breathing and eating are even more ancient beliefs we have for living and we still believe in them.