thinking about quitting AA after a relapse
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
I am sorry, that I did not see you were going for treatment for depression.
I think this is a good step. Depression is insidious because it warps thinking. Good cognitive therapy is really helpful for recognizing when your perceptions are trustworthy and when they are not.
Depressed people hear the worst possible message anywhere they go. The feelings of hopelessness, friendliness, and emptiness get reinforced even though they are not true. That is why it is so good that you are seeking help here and with professionals. Depression often prevents people from even trying to get better.
I think this is a good step. Depression is insidious because it warps thinking. Good cognitive therapy is really helpful for recognizing when your perceptions are trustworthy and when they are not.
Depressed people hear the worst possible message anywhere they go. The feelings of hopelessness, friendliness, and emptiness get reinforced even though they are not true. That is why it is so good that you are seeking help here and with professionals. Depression often prevents people from even trying to get better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 9
i went to a meeting earlier and identified as a newcomer again...
This is the only time I've ever been truly suicidal. I'm not telling anyone except you guys. I cannot worry anyone any more than I already have.
I can't do this. I can't rebuild. It's too hard. I don't want to use but I definitely do not want to be on this earth a minute longer.
Don't do what I did. If you're thinking about it, don't. It's still not fun.
This is the only time I've ever been truly suicidal. I'm not telling anyone except you guys. I cannot worry anyone any more than I already have.
I can't do this. I can't rebuild. It's too hard. I don't want to use but I definitely do not want to be on this earth a minute longer.
Don't do what I did. If you're thinking about it, don't. It's still not fun.
Did something change in the last two weeks besides getting high?
Deereynolds - if you need help please consider calling one of these crisis numbers:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
I know how desperate it can feel when you don't want to get high but don't want to live either. It's a very lonely place - but it is not the end.
I was there 25 years ago - and even with its ups and downs and continuing addictions I am glad now to have a further 25 years to my credit, and coming up to ten years in recovery.
Please don't lose heart - there is life after addiction - a good life - and there is always hope...always
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
I know how desperate it can feel when you don't want to get high but don't want to live either. It's a very lonely place - but it is not the end.
I was there 25 years ago - and even with its ups and downs and continuing addictions I am glad now to have a further 25 years to my credit, and coming up to ten years in recovery.
Please don't lose heart - there is life after addiction - a good life - and there is always hope...always
D
Deer, don't give up hope. You were sober before, you can do it again. I didn't jell with AA either for the same reason you take issue. There are other programs out there, find one that resonates with you. Feeling empowered works better for me than feeling like if I take another sip of alcohol ever again, I'll die. Your psychiatrist will help you with the depression. There is help and hope out there.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
Please call a crisis number.
I know I had the same thoughts, but I am so glad I did not act on them.
Things change. They really change. What you are experiencing now is not going to be your whole life.
I know I had the same thoughts, but I am so glad I did not act on them.
Things change. They really change. What you are experiencing now is not going to be your whole life.
"Hello I am posting here because I have two years and two months sober but lately I have been questioning if I really want to be sober. I'm an IV meth and heroin addict who is 21 years old."
I am an alcoholic who got sober when I was 22. I am wondering if AA is even the right place for you? I would have no clue as to how to help you. I have absolutely no idea of what it is like to travel the road you have been travelling.
I can give my opinion, which really echoes the advice of miamifella, but I have no actual experience of any value to you.
I am an alcoholic who got sober when I was 22. I am wondering if AA is even the right place for you? I would have no clue as to how to help you. I have absolutely no idea of what it is like to travel the road you have been travelling.
I can give my opinion, which really echoes the advice of miamifella, but I have no actual experience of any value to you.
"Hello I am posting here because I have two years and two months sober but lately I have been questioning if I really want to be sober. I'm an IV meth and heroin addict who is 21 years old."
I am an alcoholic who got sober when I was 22. I am wondering if AA is even the right place for you? I would have no clue as to how to help you. I have absolutely no idea of what it is like to travel the road you have been travelling.
I can give my opinion, which really echoes the advice of miamifella, but I have no actual experience of any value to you.
I am an alcoholic who got sober when I was 22. I am wondering if AA is even the right place for you? I would have no clue as to how to help you. I have absolutely no idea of what it is like to travel the road you have been travelling.
I can give my opinion, which really echoes the advice of miamifella, but I have no actual experience of any value to you.
i went to a meeting earlier and identified as a newcomer again...
This is the only time I've ever been truly suicidal. I'm not telling anyone except you guys. I cannot worry anyone any more than I already have.
I can't do this. I can't rebuild. It's too hard. I don't want to use but I definitely do not want to be on this earth a minute longer.
Don't do what I did. If you're thinking about it, don't. It's still not fun.
This is the only time I've ever been truly suicidal. I'm not telling anyone except you guys. I cannot worry anyone any more than I already have.
I can't do this. I can't rebuild. It's too hard. I don't want to use but I definitely do not want to be on this earth a minute longer.
Don't do what I did. If you're thinking about it, don't. It's still not fun.
Bill.
To answer your question directly I was sober just short of a year while going to AA. Stopped going because I believed that my atheism and AA principles were at odds. Stayed sober a few weeks...and then off again for almost two years.
I'm back at AA now, have found agnostic/atheist on-line resources, and relying on AA for face to face and peer support.
I put my return to drinking down to stopping meetings.
I'm back at AA now, have found agnostic/atheist on-line resources, and relying on AA for face to face and peer support.
I put my return to drinking down to stopping meetings.
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