BrickbyBrick83

I think it's going to be a different story, and completely different circumstances for everyone. I would not want to talk to my family about it (mum and dad etc.) but I am glad that I can talk to my husband. I would be quite sad if I couldn't, as they are the one person in your life that you'd hope would love you unconditionally, and know everything about you.

Having said that, I haven't mentioned the "A" word to him yet (can't even type it on here yet, so I have a way to go!) But it is something I'd like to do this year, at some point. I have just told him that I'm not drinking. In return, he has given up his beer. I didn't ask him to, and didn't want him to change his life to fit me, but it has been a wonderful support, and made things so much easier for me.

Zerothehero, that's one of the things I tell people as well! I think most people know it can run in families, and seem to understand why you'd not want to risk it.

It has been interesting watching my dad's sober journey (think it's 15 years this year...) In the early years, he very much kept it under wraps. These days, he tells all and sundry. If he's at an event, and someone nags him repeatedly about why he's not drinking, he says stuff like: "Because I used to drink 2 litres of vodka a day," or simply, "I'm a recovering alcoholic." I think he enjoys seeing the other person squirm, if I'm quite honest! I wonder if most people become a little less sensitive over time, or whether that's just my dad's nature, haha

Suzieq17

I have told no one.

I have told and shared on SR and I feel that is enough for now.

sortofhomecomin

I guess I would politely question this. Why do you perceive that acknowledgement of your problem could potentially have 'explosive impact on your job', unless you are someone in a high profile role in media or politics or something of that nature? And even if you are, well, the second A in AA stands for Anonymous (if that's a path you're interesting in pursuing).

MissPerfumado

It's a remarkably true thing, in my opinion. No-one will really understand your problem like another alcoholic... a recovering one, that is.

The ONLY person in real life who has ever really understood and could give me support is my alcoholic father who is over 10 years' sober.

I spoke to a couple of "normal drinking" friends early on and explained in what I regarded as euphemistic terms that I had stopped drinking. They never ever really understood. If you want support, these are not the sort of people to tell. They will form all sorts of views that are off the mark and which are likely to be unhelpful.

As for active alcoholics, they often have way too much they are handling (or trying to) to give you support. Speaking to them about it will bring you into direct contact with their denial, hidden shame and regret and all the other BS we all know about because we have all been there.

labgirl

Hi Unwound, welcome! I have found a ton of support on SR and I can be as anonymous and confidential as I choose but still get support without judgement now or in the future. I encourage you to use SR as a resource and if at some point you identify someone you feel comfortable confiding in, do so.

Good luck my friend and God bless.

Unwound

You're probably right about this, it's much more likely it's a bigger deal in my head than it would actually be. At the same time there IS a stigma with being an alcoholic, even a recovering one, and people are quite happy to use it against you even if they don't admit it.

As for why, I would like someone in my close circle to know: I just want someone around where I can not pretend anymore. I've spent so much time from the last 8 years or so hiding it from everyone (including myself) it would feel nice to just not have to do that with one person. Also if someone else was aware of the real situation they could watch out if I start slipping or my thinking starts getting sloppy. I am doing some stuff to try to avoid that myself but never hurts to have a second pair of eyes.

FLCamper

I understand how you feel. I definitely wouldn't want it to get out to my employer or coworkers. A lot of people don't understand and there is a big stigma associated with it.

I have two nearby friends who know - and it is really a relief that someone knows my secret. My daughters and ex-husband know, too. My younger daughter (23) is the one who took my last bottle of wine and poured it out.

I've got other friends and I've considered sharing with, but have hesitated because I don't want to burden them with keeping it to themselves. Much like your wife, I don't think they'd whisper behind my back, but they might unintentionally let it slip. As time has gone on, I'm not as sensitive as I used to be about not letting the world know.
AA is a good place to talk as others have suggested.

Zebra1275

I share with people in AA and on this website. That's enough for me.

My wife, of course knows, but we don't talk about my drinking much. There are too many other things going on in our lives, and my drinking is pretty much ancient history.