not everyone was a fun haver, partier, bar drinker ... just sayin'
 

my testimony to the minority of you who like me were never hip, slick or cool

i never drank for fun
i never drank at parties
i never drank in bars

i always/ only drank at home, by myself with the drapes closed to shut off from ...

rage
anger
disgust
self hate

this is what kept me out of AA and recovery for years because i was sure i wouldn't fit in

i was wrong

:tyou

I was just the same as you, and very lost and alone.

Fortunately and thank goodness, I found a way to recover that works for me.

Maybe out in the general population we are the minority, but not on here. You're really preaching to the choir. lol I am not trying to be snarky, I just think it serves us better to know that we are all very much alike here.

I started out drinking for fun and popularity but it eventually turned into drinking alone in disgust, anger, self hate and boredom.

Me too
 

Me too. I was always a stay-at-home, "numb it all" drinker. That's why I now leave home, whenever possible, when my "AV" (just learned what that is, so proud of myself), starts talking to me. Its voice is a lot quieter when I am taking a walk, going to a movie, pulling weeds, whatever takes me out of the house. When I can't leave home (it's freezing here right now), I learned from someone else to set a timer and do something-anything-for 30 minutes. That worked really well last night.

All of this to say, I'm with 'ya. It wasn't about about having a yaa-hoo time for me. It was about numbing. So now I know I'll need to figure out what the heck I was numbing, but all in good time...

I'd have a party of one every night, even with no maître d around.

I did have fun most of the time though. I liked being alone, and I got pleasure from drinking. I won't say I didn't. Ultimately it started getting less pleasurable and more physical ills started cropping up, making it less fun.

I started out as the party animal and as I got older had kids, the bar scene was for the younger crowd, I also drank alone after work to numb out the day and relax or in my case pass out.

John Prine has an apt song entitled Me Myself and I

It's on youtube.

John Prine is a true musical genius.



This is another poignant song about abusive solitary drinking.

I was a partier when I was younger, but over the past five years, I have definitely been the stay at home drinker. I work from home, so the starting times got earlier and earlier. "I'll wait until 6pm, that's acceptable." "5pm isn't so bad," "How about a drink with lunch," etc etc.

My husband has never been a big drinker, but I would always encourage him to have a beer in the afternoon, just to make me feel better about opening my own bottle. I'd then sit on the sofa, and get through one or two bottles of wine. Drinking wine and watching Home & Away at 3pm - living the high life! LOL

I don't think I've been in a pub or bar for years!

I hid how much I drank from others for many years, because of the stigma of alcoholism. So socially, I would have just a few beers when out.

But once I got home alone, I'd have a few more beers and crack open the vodka. I'm also cheap, so drinking at home made financial sense to me.

How's that for an alcoholic rationalization for solitary drinking?

I was a lone drinker too.

I partied in college and after college in bars and stuff. But even then, I was drinking to ease social anxiety and to allow me to loosen up to socialize. Im an introvert mostly, so alcohol took away my social awkwardness and gave me an excuse for acting foolishly. As I got older, I was a stay at home lone drinker.

But as Ive shared on here, Ive always had my demons. I drank mostly to squelsh those, even at an early age. It never worked.

I was a solo drinker but that's probably to be expected. I don't have friends and don't care to really be social. So my drinking perfectly fit my hermit lifestyle.

Sober now, I just sit here reading and learning by myself, drinking obscene amounts of sparkling water.

And some of us, like me, were social butterflies. From pre-drinking days as a little one, to my sales career, to my current job working in a restaurant around all kinds of people, I have always been in the middle of things. My drinking changed me over the years, and I got alternately reclusive and "outgoing" (still), til I was just drinking to get through the days.

Now, being sober, I have found that while I am outgoing and sunny and a lot of the things I was pre-late-stage-alcoholism....I also enjoy different settings and environments, and using that energy in more intimate settings.

End of the day- we're all alcoholics. This particular aspect of our disease is one reason I remember the saying that there are as many types of alcoholism as there are alcoholics - you just never know by looking, stereotyping, assuming or ..... and no matter what kind of drinker we were, we are all better off and better versions of ourselves now that we are sober.

I just drank from 5 o'clock on, wherever I was and with whomever I was with, or not. Lonely hotel rooms when at conferences. Everyday was a party, games, music cooking together when at home, till 1 of us died of cirrhosis, party over.

Drinking was hell. I t caused me to be alone. Since nothing mattered and it could not get any worse- why not keep drinking? I kept drinking and dedicated the years into creating a living hell that had no equal.
Not now.

I drank alone, in my bedroom, in my pj's with the TV, food and the cat for company. Hid it from my husband for years. In public I never drank more than 2 while out with friends because I didn't want them to "know." Of course once I decided to "confess" they all knew!

Lone drinker here too. It's been years since I drank for fun.