Tweaking my plan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 101
Tweaking my plan
39 days sober. I've always been the type of person to just wing it. That's partly how I got into this mess. It started as an early 20s party girl, everybody's favorite drinking buddy, always up for a wild time. Friends have always come an gone in my life. I'm the type that would say, hmm I'm hungry, and then drive in no particular direction until a restaurant looks good to me. Then I'd belly up to the bar and eat and drink, make new bar friends, and hang out with them until it was pass out time, drunk drive home, rinse repeat.
So as you can probably tell, plans are hard for me. A common notion here on SR is working a program or developing a plan. I know AA is a really good place to start, but it's not an option at the moment for me. I find I get a lot out of simply reading and commenting on the threads here. I had made an appointment with a psychiatrist to talk about everything and see if he could help me decide my next course of action, but after waiting a month, my appointment was cancelled yesterday due to snow and I now have to wait until the end of the month.
My question is, what kind of programs specifically do you have, what is your plan that you have in place to keep you from drinking, what tips or tricks do you use for sticky situations, anything you can share that you use as a tool besides AA?
As always, thanks for allowing me to be here and post with you 😊
So as you can probably tell, plans are hard for me. A common notion here on SR is working a program or developing a plan. I know AA is a really good place to start, but it's not an option at the moment for me. I find I get a lot out of simply reading and commenting on the threads here. I had made an appointment with a psychiatrist to talk about everything and see if he could help me decide my next course of action, but after waiting a month, my appointment was cancelled yesterday due to snow and I now have to wait until the end of the month.
My question is, what kind of programs specifically do you have, what is your plan that you have in place to keep you from drinking, what tips or tricks do you use for sticky situations, anything you can share that you use as a tool besides AA?
As always, thanks for allowing me to be here and post with you 😊
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,501
I know for sure that you have to find something that works for you. Congratulations on 39 days sober!
The first two or three years of my recovery were on my own. I relied on books that helped with spirituality and my anxiety issues. I discovered that balance in my life was essential. So, I began walking a lot, daily. I continued to read and I got involved in volunteer work which helped save my soul. Then I found SR and I have been here ever since. I always find inspiration here and this works for me.
The first two or three years of my recovery were on my own. I relied on books that helped with spirituality and my anxiety issues. I discovered that balance in my life was essential. So, I began walking a lot, daily. I continued to read and I got involved in volunteer work which helped save my soul. Then I found SR and I have been here ever since. I always find inspiration here and this works for me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
I am 74 days sober and I just started AA this week.
My wife still drinks everyday and is against AA but told me I should consider formal counseling for addition. My health insurance will cover it. Not sure if that is an option for you.
My wife still drinks everyday and is against AA but told me I should consider formal counseling for addition. My health insurance will cover it. Not sure if that is an option for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Like January said, it's the first drink that gets us drunk. I found in the beginning that regardless of whatever method I decided to use to stay sober, I couldn't have a drink. I had to power through cravings regardless of how painful they were.
Distracting myself made the cravings less painful. Reaching out to people I know who are sober helped make them less painful. Eating ice cream deadened the cravings. Exercising, doing a jigsaw puzzle or crossword puzzle. Anything that kept my hands busy and my head somewhat engaged.
I do attend AA meetings but mostly for support and the routine offered. I posted and read on here almost constantly in the beginning. I joined the weekender thread. Something, anything, that will keep me accountable and I had to follow through on what I said I was going to do.
Stick with it.
Distracting myself made the cravings less painful. Reaching out to people I know who are sober helped make them less painful. Eating ice cream deadened the cravings. Exercising, doing a jigsaw puzzle or crossword puzzle. Anything that kept my hands busy and my head somewhat engaged.
I do attend AA meetings but mostly for support and the routine offered. I posted and read on here almost constantly in the beginning. I joined the weekender thread. Something, anything, that will keep me accountable and I had to follow through on what I said I was going to do.
Stick with it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 122
Congrats! At over 3 months, I've found what really worked for me (I've been through therapy, inpatient, AA, etc) was the Allen Carr 'easy way for women to stop drinking', which gets you to revisit and review the way people conceptualize alcohol (cheap and available through audible and iTunes as an audio book)
I had been trying for years to quit, and was at my wits end when someone suggested the book to me. I think it's good for people who are strong willed and have an internal locus of control. It helped me view alcohol in a way that doesn't make me crave it like I had in the past, and it was the first method I'd tried that didn't make me feel like being sober suuuucked.
Being sober is actually pretty easy for me right now. There are days when things are crazy and I reflexively think of alcohol (we're talking years of conditioning) but it isn't exactly like wanting a drinking... it doesn't feel like a craving, but more like a memory or an emotional cue. The strong uncontrollable urge to drink is gone, and I feel a lot more at ease with this method than I did with others.
This, combined with repeatedly visiting SR on a regular basis so that I remember why
I quit in the first place, have been integral to getting me this far.
I had been trying for years to quit, and was at my wits end when someone suggested the book to me. I think it's good for people who are strong willed and have an internal locus of control. It helped me view alcohol in a way that doesn't make me crave it like I had in the past, and it was the first method I'd tried that didn't make me feel like being sober suuuucked.
Being sober is actually pretty easy for me right now. There are days when things are crazy and I reflexively think of alcohol (we're talking years of conditioning) but it isn't exactly like wanting a drinking... it doesn't feel like a craving, but more like a memory or an emotional cue. The strong uncontrollable urge to drink is gone, and I feel a lot more at ease with this method than I did with others.
This, combined with repeatedly visiting SR on a regular basis so that I remember why
I quit in the first place, have been integral to getting me this far.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Have you read through the links on Dee's thread about making a plan? If not, that might be a good place to start.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 6
Congrats on the 39! I've only been trying for 6 days and the weekend is coming so we'll see what that is like.
Can't say what works since I just started, but what got me going (besides kidney pain on the binge days) was youtube. I just searched for alcohol addiction and started watching various videos, even listened to the audio when I slept.
One in particular really is sad, about a man that eventually dies. (some of it is very Graphic)
search for "Alcohol - Drugged High On Alcohol Full Documentary - Alcoholism"
This board is a big help I find too - "we got this"!
Peace
Can't say what works since I just started, but what got me going (besides kidney pain on the binge days) was youtube. I just searched for alcohol addiction and started watching various videos, even listened to the audio when I slept.
One in particular really is sad, about a man that eventually dies. (some of it is very Graphic)
search for "Alcohol - Drugged High On Alcohol Full Documentary - Alcoholism"
This board is a big help I find too - "we got this"!
Peace
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,433
I never thought of myself a planner either - but looking back a lot of planning went into my drinking...and I'd always be making lists of things to do ...or sketching out my week etc...
I think a plan has two main pillars - making changes to reflect your desire to be sober; and finding and using support to make that happen.
You can go more micro from there- what are my triggers - what can I do to deal with them without drinking ..what do about cravings ...etc.
but I think, at its most basic, change and support are fundamental.
The link Berrybean posted is pretty much a one stop shop for plans IMO.
I think a plan has two main pillars - making changes to reflect your desire to be sober; and finding and using support to make that happen.
You can go more micro from there- what are my triggers - what can I do to deal with them without drinking ..what do about cravings ...etc.
but I think, at its most basic, change and support are fundamental.
The link Berrybean posted is pretty much a one stop shop for plans IMO.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
For some reason, the sickness, shame, and self hatred after my last drinking session never faded. I remember it like it was yesterday, and it was seven years ago.
I never want to feel like that again, so I never will drink again.
I never want to feel like that again, so I never will drink again.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Here's my plan.
1) don't drink ever no matter what
This single most effective thing I've done in quitting is...not drinking.
Other things I need to work on I address as I need to. I went to counseling for many years to work on my weirdness around intimate relationships. I changed my eating habits, I quit smoking, I exercise, I have a shitton of hobbies...In other words, I do a bunch of stuff to improve my life on an ongoing basis, but that stuff is all separate from my abstinence. If I quit doing all that stuff tomorrow, I would still remain abstinent because my abstinence is not contingent on maintaining any of those things. I do that on purpose, because that way if my life falls apart or some really tragic stuff happens(which happens cuz life), I will remain abstinent throughout it. Maintaining my abstinence no matter what means that even in the worst of times, I will still have the wherewithall and strength to eventually turn things around.
1) don't drink ever no matter what
This single most effective thing I've done in quitting is...not drinking.
Other things I need to work on I address as I need to. I went to counseling for many years to work on my weirdness around intimate relationships. I changed my eating habits, I quit smoking, I exercise, I have a shitton of hobbies...In other words, I do a bunch of stuff to improve my life on an ongoing basis, but that stuff is all separate from my abstinence. If I quit doing all that stuff tomorrow, I would still remain abstinent because my abstinence is not contingent on maintaining any of those things. I do that on purpose, because that way if my life falls apart or some really tragic stuff happens(which happens cuz life), I will remain abstinent throughout it. Maintaining my abstinence no matter what means that even in the worst of times, I will still have the wherewithall and strength to eventually turn things around.
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