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Finally asking for forgiveness

Old 01-05-2017, 09:28 AM
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Finally asking for forgiveness

I have abused alcohol for 23 years. Drugs too in my early youth and 20's.

For my entire life I've felt shame, guilt, sadness, loneliness -- even in my childhood. I have NEVER felt good about me. I have harped on every negative thing that has ever happened to me or that I did. I had to drink, I didn't deserve to be happy, I was a horrible person.

Last night, I finally asked for forgiveness. I cried, a lot, but at the end of my prayer I felt very calm and FINALLY deserving of forgiveness and the ability to move forward and let all the accumulated sh*t go. It's time.

Day 8 -- sober. Please share your story of forgiveness if you have one.
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Old 01-05-2017, 09:39 AM
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I am 73 days sober and still trying to get through recovery after 27 years of daily drinking. I started AA yesterday.

I have a lot of pent up emotions that are starting to surface and I too hope to feel that calm someday.
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Old 01-05-2017, 09:46 AM
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Sounds like a step in the right direction. You can ask God to forgive you and your friends and family to forgive you, but don't forget to let YOU forgive you. The early days are all over the place, just stay the course, the waves will get smaller.
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Old 01-05-2017, 09:48 AM
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I focus on right NOW. That is the single most effective way that I am able to forgive myself at this point. one day at a time, the days add up, and I feel stronger and thus more able to look in the mirror.
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Old 01-05-2017, 09:51 AM
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Suzie, I'm so glad you are on this journey and feeling good. Forgiving ourselves is so hard and yet so important to recovery. Forgiveness for me came slowly. It didn't happen all at once, but came slowly over many months.
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Old 01-05-2017, 09:55 AM
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As others said - don't forget to forgive yourself. I'm actually still working on it. I used to make excuses for my behavior, minimizing things I did while drinking. I had to get to a place where I was freely admitting and owning up to things I did, and forgiving myself anyway. Great thing is, forgiving yourself makes it easier to forgive others for things they did to you, thus removing resentments that can and will continue to poison your soul if you don't let them go. Keep working on forgiveness. It's so so important.
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