Takingiteasy

So, after numerous relapses... Never going more than 2 days in a row, I'm on day 5. Actually, on my way home last night I realized that in the back of the fridge was a half empty bottle of red wine from New Year's Eve. I thought to myself, ' I'm on day 4, done great so far, and since there's ONLY half a bottle, I can't drink more than that, and I have about 5 cigs left ( only ever smoke when drinking ) I can relax a half hour before getting ready for bed and still feel good tomorrow morning ' then I remembered there's still a few bottles of hard stuff in the house ( never cared for hard liquor at all ) but I know after that half a bottle, I'm sneaking in whatever else is available. All this going thru my head on the drive home. Somehow, got home, went straight to the bathroom to start my skin bedtime routine ( been making it a point to drink 3L of water a day, and honestly my skin is already showing a difference that that in itself is motivating ) went to bed with my ipad and lurked some SR. realized, that bottle is still in the fridge.... **** it. Went to bed, up at 6am DOING LAUNDRY. Thought to myself, had I had that bottle, right now I would for sure be having high anxiety like usual. Not even able to have a coffee because that would send my anxiety and random body aches into high gear, then the thoughts of having a heart attack or liver failure flooding my mind ect ect Im sure you've all been there. I know that bottle would of turned into a few beers, bottle of scotch easily no problem. A walk to the store for more smokes. Instead, I've decided to leave that bottle there. My boyfriend noticed it and was VERY surprised seeing as he's never seen unfinished wine. Almost empowering. I plan to leave it there for when I have people over, and they ask for wine ( I'm known for ALWAYS having some on hand ) and I can bust out that bottle and say something like ' here I have some leftover from New Years.... ' and just see their faces. I know some would say to dump it, but knowing now my boyfriend has seen it, and knowing his controlling behaviour ( also loves to be condescending ) he'll be checking on that bottle daily. So, leaving it there it's like giving him the middle finger over and over because he totally laughed in my face when I told him I wasn't ever having wine again.

Feeling good going into the weekend!!

D122y

Taking,

Way to go on your decision to quit boozing.

It is a toxin and has fried many a brain into a state of irreversible craze.

I have embraced sobriety for 20 months by, like you, analysis.

Once the detox was complete, for me about a month, the brain damage really shows through.

I didn't learn about sr until 80 days clean. This place gave me the info.I needed to battle my booze addiction.

You seem to get it at least as well as me.

Helping others has helped me get out of my head when icrave.

Thanks.

january161992

entropy1964

Congrats on day 5. That is great.

Well its so hard for me not to project my thinking onto another's post. So I'll just say this: If I had written your post I would want someone to say 'check your logic Frick'.

Pebbles128

Congratulations on making it to Day 5.

I would suggest dumping out the wine.

Suzieq17

Great job on 5 days!!!

least

Five days sober is a great start!

RavenWings

Thats amazing progress. Well done!

How you describe you BF however concerns me. None of my business but I have been in relationships like this. Please make sure you are safe and be sure to reach out to someone if need be.

Take care x