vulturine

I fixed my college application. Transcripts corrected, programs changed. I selected biotech and bioinformatics as my programs of choice instead of the medical lab tech thing. Admissions exam next Saturday. I'm hoping for biotech because it's essentially applied microbiology, so I'd be in my element. Plus, I don't have to worry about my non-conviction record because we're only dealing with instruments, software and nothing larger than an amoeba. That should require a regular criminal record check, so I can pass.

I remember the moment I became interested in microbio in grade 12 biology. We were watching a short animation called "Inner Life of the Cell". I got chills down my spine, just marveling at the beauty and complexity. It makes me tear up now when I watch it because I get the same feeling a decade later. Nothing else makes me feel that way, and I don't even have a name for that emotion. More intense than falling in love. That's how I feel about microbiology. I can't do anything else with my life. I'd never been so fulfilled and happy as when I was doing my microbiology stuff. So, is following my dream really such a bad decision? The job market sucks, but I'm in it because I'm passionate.

I'm a lot more optimistic now than I was over the past year. I have to stop drinking for good, get healthy, activate neuroplasticity and not get arrested again. The reason I quit drinking the first time was for school, and I was happy, so hopefully this works.

Anyway, thanks SR. I think I've been living in my own head for too long in this isolation. I wish I had friends, but I don't anymore.

Ariesagain

I LOVED microbiology. It's absolutely fascinating. Pursuing what truly engages your mind and soul is a good thing and having a goal is even better.

You know you have the smarts to do this, so set your sights and go!

Mklove

So interesting Vulture, sounds like you've made a great choice!

STDragon

I was recently volunteering at a field trip with my daughters grade 12 biology class. When the teacher and I got into a conversation about how each of us got in our respective careers. He told me that his advice to everyone is 'Do what you love'. 'Do what you love and everything else will fall into place'.

His passion as a kid was entomology so he followed his dream. Little did he know that years later he'd be teaching biology at the high school level and loving it. So he did what he loved and found his dream job.

Notimetoloose

"activate neuroplasticity" sound great...it can also work for positivity and pessimism..and can interchange and change the brain both ways depending on your external and internal dialogue....fascinating stuff.
I was reading about it today with my daughter after she found herself continually feeling pessimistic after a nasty break up with her ex.

bemyself

Good on you, vulturine. Sounds like a fabulous avenue for you. Always best to study something which you love, which really gives you the chills - I say that both as a student, and from having taught. One just 'knows' what subjects and areas do it for us. All the research 'greats' over the centuries (in whatever field) have had that special spark; it's why they kept going.

Re the job market - well, it indeed sucks - as you put it succinctly -for pretty much everyone, in whatever field, and whatever workplace. Having said that, if you doing what you say is essentially applied microbio - well, there are increasingly numerous areas calling for those skills. (Sometimes makes us 'useless humanities' types a bit grumpy :-)).

Go for it!

HelenofTroy

I am so happy for you! And my guess is you will develop friendships with others in the program who share your passion.

PhoenixJ

Greatness V. Looking forward. Neoroplastimicity- I will have to think and think on that one...

vulturine

This server is constantly crashing on me. Frustrating.

This is my first move towards getting my life back on track since my friend died. He was my only friend in uni, and the only one I could talk to about science stuff. My boyfriend likes guns, steak and racing cars. Nice guy, but my brain turns off when he's talking sometimes.

Algorithm

I had this once, and then alcohol destroyed it. I don't know if it alters the mind, or how it does it, exactly, but it will destroy everything. Even true loves.

You mentioned elsewhere that you keep stopping and starting again, but that you want to quit. You can fix that, while you still have passions to pursue.

I'm really glad to hear that you are looking ahead.

Berrybean

What are you doing for your recovery at the moment? It's lovely that you're getting back to your studies, and aiming to stay sober. A plan for recovery is the thing that will make this achievable though. I'm really hoping that when you said about keeping healthy, this is what you were referring to.

No matter how much we might wish for ut, nothing changes if nothing changes. Our sobriety is only as safe as the actions we're prepared to take.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

Delilah1

Good luck with your test on Saturday.

bemyself

Bummer about the boyfriend....

I'm waay too far from that whole scene (in years and experience) to suggest anything, other than: I'm very sad for you that your one good friend from uni died. Yet: that doesn't mean that you won't meet a whole new bunch of people, in this new course, who love to gab about science stuff together.

Even if only one or two become great friends over time, it doesn't matter. You'll have them to spend time with. Some of my dearest memories relate to this or that individual - or a small group - with whom I could chinwag about our respective studies and work, that no one else could understand

You'll find that niche, v.

Aellyce

I wanted to become a microbiologist at age 10, then was more into psychology and philosophy for a while but decided to study biology because I could see more opportunities in that area where I was at the time (I have moved around quite a bit since). I have been a molecular biologist ever since, working on a variety of fields. Eventually I settled into neurobiology (so that was even a loop into my old interest in psychology) and I no longer work in the lab myself for the most part but I still love the discipline, approach and collaborating with people, leading different projects.

Good luck with your application! BTW, bioinfo is great as well and can be combined with wet lab science in many wonderful and productive ways, either in academia, industry, or a few others.

vulturine

I'm not doing anything for recovery. I went to rehab already, which was just about as useful as all the time I spent in psych hospitals for other stuff.

Bioinformatics was my least favourite part of microbiology. I hate coding. It's the most frustrating thing to learn. My notes are garbage and I don't remember a single thing. I probably should take a crash course in programming eventually though because I'm only familiar with UNIX and C+, and C+ is outdated

hellrzr

Well that's not good. What are you going to do the next time life gets tough and the only way you know how to handle it is to numb yourself? Sounds like nothing in rehab stuck with you either. I would highly suggest AA myself but for the love of Pete find some support group that you can turn to for advice and support.

This website is great but face to face is really important early on. I would hate to see you go through all this work getting your life back on track just to have it fall apart again because you've never learned how to live life on life's terms.

bemyself

Best of British luck for Saturday's exam/s, vulturine. Do please let us know how you feel you went. And when you get the formal results. I for one am agog with anticipation!

Coding? Cripes. I remember from long ago and far away (the mid-70s) having to learn Fortran IV - for some unaccountable reason, in first year architecture (but it was a strange B.Science (Architecture) course). I just wanted to design buildings, had wanted to - and had done so - since I was a kid.

If you hate coding so much, will the exam results end up 'streaming' you into either bioinfo whatsit, OR biotech? Or can you do both? If both, then ok, learn some of the newer programming - you sound smart enough to do it.

Re recovery: I'm not the best person to advise you on that aspect, still battling with my own 400th or something relapse. Wiser sober people than I will surely be along soon to cheer-lead you.

But what I can tell you is from my own experience - and is bolstered by what Algo and BB have suggested: doing what you need to do to stay sober (getting sober is one thing, staying sober is quite another) will indeed give you the best chance for working in this new course, not least because it requires considerable amounts of higher-order thinking, reasoning, analysis and so forth. Impossible to do at all, let alone over a period of time, if that thinking is impaired by alcohol.

I hope you take this in the spirit of encouragement, from another of us older people whose own careers, passions, and the rest have been significantly disrupted, if not destroyed, by the brain damage and everything else resulting from ongoing drinking over many years.

You do not have be like that. You do not have to end up like that. Far from it: you have a great deal to look forward to.

vulturine

I can't use rehab as an excuse to see my very expensive specialist therapist who was supposed to be treating me for substance abuse on top of everything else because I made an indirect threat to her. I didn't threaten, or ever touch her, I was just frustrated she gave up on me after 4 months. I don't even care if that lady likes me. No one likes me. She just has to do her job and give me something to work with. She specialized in treating reactive people, so not sure why she's giving up on her first real patient. I actually liked her.

I looked at AA just for people to talk to, but I can't do the 12 steps thing.

vulturine

Thanks bemyself. That does sound like an odd program. Hmm.

The exam is just algebra and english language skills, if I can't do basic algebra, I might as well not even go to college. I think biotech is my first choice. It's only a 2 year course, and most of it sounds like I've already covered it in university as far as theory goes. I'll have to brush up on my chemistry too.

What I'm concerned about is them not looking at my university transcript. I'm not sure what "equal consideration" means, but doesn't sound good. My high school grades were kind of crap because I had a lot of mental problems, and I was on antipsychotics at the time, which impair memory.

hellrzr

Go to some meetings and just chat with some folks. Maybe you'll get some good tips and contacts to help you out when times get rough. Maybe you'll be able to even help someone yourself. Maybe you'll change your mind on the steps but maybe not. Either way you'll be welcomed!