kevlarsjal

Hello everyone!


I haven't been actively posting here in the past 1,5 months but I still come here frequently to read.


So I'm sober for 2,5 months now and it's going okay. I made it through the holiday season without drinking but it was very tricky and exhausting at times.


Now I wonder if I might not be careful enough about it or if I challange myself too much too early.


I have to say, I did pretty much most of the things AA and other groups tell you to avoid in early sobriety. I went with my boyfriend (sober for 4,5 years) to my dads Christmas party, which was super boozy and we both found it quite hard / exhausting in the end when my dad opened his house bar and everyone was drinking lots. Then we went to his company's christmas party which was pretty boozy too, I think he didn't mind it too much, for me it was a bit more difficult but there was a lot of nice food to distract me with.


For the actual Christmas week we went away to visit his family in the UK and we also met some of his old friends in a bar, which again was okay for both of us as there wasn't too many drinkers.


Then the flight back home turned out to be hell for me. It started okay but then it was delayed by two hours and we were kind of trapped after the security check in between bars and duty free shops with lots of liquor on sale. After a while it became harder and harder for me to ignore, mostly because I felt tired, stressed and bored. Half way on the two hour long flight all people around us started to order gin tonics and bloody marys and I had the hardest time. I was so jealous and had really bad cravings. I wanted to escape the situation as it got too much but obviously I couldn't. I just stared out of the window and tried to ignore everything around me and I fell into a hole of depression for the last hour or so of the flight. My boyfriend noticed and held my hand and to me it was so helpful to know that I'm not going through this alone and that there's someone who knows about my struggle and I don't even have to explain anything.


Then New Years eve came and I was very nervous about attending the party (a boozy dinner party with two other couples invited at a friends place) because it was a combination of for me typical drinking triggers: New Years and because it was a social situation with many unknown factors (I barely knew the friends we were invited to and I haven't been to their place before). I was a nervous wreck the two days before going and on NYE my boyfriend started to feel nervous too. But once we were there we both felt much more at ease again and for the most time I didn't even notice that the others were drinking and we weren't. It turned out to be a really fun and nice and sober evening and a great start to the new year.


So although I didn't stick to the guidelines (not dating a fellow alcoholic, not travelling, not going to places where there's gonna be a lot of alcohol) I think I did quite well. But on the other site I see why it's not recommended cause it was in fact quite hard some times. I'm wondering if it's good to challenge yourself a bit every once in a while to get stronger of if I'm too complacent.

Horn95

Sounds like you nailed it.

I had a bit of a similar experience on NYE. Not 48 hours out of Detox and I had a dinner party to go to. Booze everywhere and my wife was drinking. A great friend of mine is pregnant so we hung out to make it easier on both of us. In the end, I resisted and feel good about it.

Venecia

I think sobriety deepens with time and commitment, not via testing ourselves to see if we can clear a hurdle.

To be honest, I've been around SR long enough to see a lot of stories end badly. Early in sobriety, it's better to avoid situations with booze so that your sober muscles can develop.

You don't have to go to bars or parties and you don't have to hang out in places where there is a lot of drinking going on.

Hevyn

I'm glad to know you got through it without picking up, kevlarsjal. Attending all those events was very challenging. I remember my first holiday season after quitting - I was resentful & rather miserable. We're learning to live in a whole new way. Things will get easier as you get used to your new normal. I rarely think of drinking now - I never believed that would be possible. It once ruled my world. Glad you posted!

MrPL

Well done for staying sober!

This thoughts are your AV trying to trick you. You have clearly decided to stay sober, there are a lot of nice things to enjoy out there even when everyone around else is hammered.

This will definitely get easier in a few more weeks!

P