Day 4 and cautiously optimistic
 

So far I haven't been sleeping much but that's to be expected.

For the past 12 years I have been a heavy drinker, the past 5 practically daily. My friends are all heavy drinkers as well, which is why i thought this forum may be a good place. My BF can also be a heavy drinker at times, but unlike me he can also enjoy nights off or just 1 or 2 beers. I open a bottle of wine and damnit i'm finishing it....and just one bottle is a good night.

I would say my MAJOR motivation is my health. I've been telling myself for years that i'm too young for any serious problems, but to be honest I know that's not true and simply a reassuring lie i keep telling myself.

Another major motivation for me is my future – ambition wise. I feel like i've been self sabotaging myself for over a decade. It's like i'm completely misrepresenting myself either through words or actions when i'm drunk or hungover....Constantly giving 20% if that...and so I drink again to forget that fact.

I constantly see this inspirational post online " She designed the life she loved" and it makes me sad cause I truly believe if I don't stop it'll read "She drank the life she hated".

I simply don't want to waste my talent and time on this earth.

I guess that's all.

Thanks for taking the time to read:)

Thanks for posting. I hated my life for the 23 years I drank. The past few days have been a welcoming calm for me--I'm trying to embrace it, and so should you.

Keep posting and sharing. We are all in this together.

Hello lna and congratulations on 4 days! I am at 4 days myself and have a similar story to yours. Looking forward to sharing this journey with you.

Hi Ina123! Welcome! I loved your quotes...very inspirational!

Cautiously optimistic
 

"Cautiously optimistic" seems wise to me. When I first started trying to quit drinking, I was a bit too much in the land of "everything is great, woo-hoo!" In retrospect I think I was trying to run from the not-so-great sides of recovery, like early recovery symptoms, worrying about my health and so forth. Ironically, the land of "everything is great" was exhausting for me and I went back to drinking.

Nowadays, I'm a grateful realist. Much more helpful for sustained sobriety. Seems a bit like your cautious optimism. Congratulations on your good work! AND, for your smarts to think through where you are with all of this at the same time. :c011:

I think it's a good thing to stay cautious this alcoholism can sneak up on us I do not trust the man in the mirror very much it's kept me sober for 9 years.

M-Bob

Hi Ina and welcome. You sound like a very self-aware person. Coming here and posting is a huge step for many. Stick around and you'll find a lot of support and success stories. I can totally relate to drinking sabotaging ambition and motivation. I always felt like crap the next day. I didn't even realize how crappy I felt until I got sober! :-)

Welcome to the Forum Ina!! :wave:

Welcome! Good job on quitting. Keep going- look into the Class of Jan thread under Newcomers' Daily Support. People who start this month. You can do it!

You can do it his Ina! Nothing wrong with being cautious and I'd use the optimism to build a solid recovery plan, it has made and is making all the difference to me.

P