Suzieq17

Obviously, we all became someone different while drinking.

But, did you find that your overall personality outside of drinking became more jaded, and generally unwelcoming to others?

On my 6th day sober, and I got a call from my alcoholic father. I dread talking to him because he's so demanding, argumentative and one way and that's when he is sober.

It got me thinking, I isolated myself and drank to numb the pain but when sober I so desperately was trying to make friends without any success. I'm starting to think I wasn't the nicest person to be around sober.

Can anyone relate or share a similar feeling/story?

BrendaChenowyth

The way that I treat others is directly related to how I treat or feel about myself. When I want to avoid other people.. and today is one of those days.. it's because I'm afraid they will see in me what I see.. If I feel good about myself, I enjoy interacting with other people.

I think alcoholics are anti-social because of the shame.

ardy

Hi kiddo... I remember Father.. or Life with Father... I remember Momma.. love those movies ... when things got tough growing up with my Pop.. I would hide in a book or old movie.. I remember when he was my best Pop.. walk every where with him and hunt and fish and milk cows and get into trouble together.. my Pop and then I remember when he started drinking badly.. and things got tight and screaming and beatings and throwing of things and him leaving and mom crying.. and grand ma's coming to get us... and life was never the same.. until August of 1999 Mom and Dads 50th wedding annivers... Pop had set it up and paid for everything.. we came in on our own dime and had Ed's Mom and Dads extra car.. and were staying with my son Ivan.... Pop had to know everything going on that day.. but we kept several things from him until we could bounce it out to the crowd.. family friends hanger ons and so many... filled the hall. for hours and hours... I have a video of Pop dancing with Mom... I know he loved her so much.. for it shows on his face.. and Mom would not have changed anything no matter what happened.. sorry need a tissue... about 8pm we were off to one side .. just my Pop and me. jr. his ardy.. I was named for his best first cousin and she was my Moms best friend.. she died before they married and I was born.. Arda he said over his left shoulder.. yep Pop Iam here.. those son of a ------ are never going to see me laid out promise me... I will Pop.... he had cancer and would not say much.. he way of going.... I remember Poppa and when he was nice. and times when he did not scream or hit or be so ugly.. terribly ungly.. at all of us.. never made peace with my little sister Di... he would hit her so hard.. she is older now.. with kids and grand kids of her own.. will see Great Grand kids too..... but has never made Peace in her heart with Dad ever.. she is so like him when he is angry at everything....... But I remember Poppa and car rides to the lake and out to the corn field to listen to the radio on Halloween War of the Worlds.. and pop corn and root beer and watch the sky are they coming.. silly Pop there is no one coming to get us... I am a cookie cut out of him right down to a little button that when pushed can be the nastiest old Poppa you ever laid eyes on... but most of the time people say Iam to nice.. would rather be Poppa nice then ugly... sorry.. kiddo..
my hubby is off morphine I miss my hubby with a twinkle in his eye and a laugh.. have not heard him laugh in a long time...... he hates so much in the world .. I think has forgotten we got married to be happy forever... me... when I stopped drinking.... I have a couple of people inside of me... one that wants to drink and forget everthing... one that has to be a help to everyone and never drink.. one that just wants balance in life and family and be happy... its a fight all the time.. if Poppa wins.. the blance is gone and we don't have to help anything ever.... the other two fight that one off a lot.. I am not nuts.. checked just now .. no squrrils around ho ho ho ho.. prayers for a better tomorrow Wisconsin..

Doug39

I feel my personality is better when I am sober.

Over the last 27 years when I drank everyday I was either hungover, buzzed or drunk.

When I was hungover I was cranky, impatient and rarely wanted to be around others.

When I was drunk I was worthless and usually irritating to be around.

That small window of time when I was buzzed (when I drank enough to cure my hungover and wasn't slurring yet) was the only time I was any fun to be around.

Forward12

For me personally I was the opposite. I was very outgoing when drunk, but would also put my foot in my mouth and often times would insult and get irritated at people for no reason. Sober I'm just very lethargic and non-standoffish.

kgr103110

Suzie - yes, I feel meaner. Unsympathetic and cold sometimes. I'm pretty sure it's projection. Maybe once I'm more comfortable with myself and accept who I am, that will change. There's still a long road ahead.

On the other hand, I could also be a pretty mean drunk. Never knew who was going to show up when I was drinking (Silly Me? Stupid Me? Nasty Me? Philosophical Me? -- always a surprise).

Bitter or not, I think I'm still better off not drinking.

SnazzyDresser

I was meaner than usual when I drank. I think I had a lot of anger built up inside over various things, and drinking would kinda bring that to the surface. I would also say and do things that I don't think I even meant to people I loved and cared about. My ex-wife mostly. I'm still ashamed about a lot of that.

MLD51

I was a happy drunk, but a very crabby and irritable person when hungover, which was pretty much every day before I started drinking in the afternoon. I'm really laid-back and overall much nicer now. I think this is the real me.

Ustacallmelola

I could be a real piece of work drunk. I could also be the life of the party. Once a few years ago, I was sober for about 6 out of 12 months (not consecutive) and my sister, who knew I had a problem, told me I was a lot more fun when I drank. Yeah. Welcome to my ridiculous family.

On the other end, I could be a horrible person drunk. I cringe when I think of some of my behavior. I cannot believe my husband stayed after everything. He just kept saying that he sees who I really I am. Talk about a guilt trip. Alcohol changed me into a person I no longer knew. I lost many relationships. Some I am not sad about. I know what I can be like sober let alone adding the fuel of alcohol. No more.

ChloeRose63

I was not myself that's for sure. My boyfriend said that he wanted to video record me so I could see that my behavior was way off. I never thought that I was acting different. But, I was very afraid to see the drunk me. I guess I would be frightened of what I saw. I decided to drink and hide but, that behavior was quite obvious, too. So glad I am sober. Glad to be the real me.

Suzieq17

My sister in law told me the same thing a few years back at a party when I wasn't drinking... I was much more fun when I was drinking. I never forgot that.

bluedog97

I was a Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. When drinking I become angry and withdrawn. Its like go away and leave me alone and let me drink myself into oblivion. Its really self-destructive. Its amazing how I did that to myself.

Im a much nicer person sober. My problem is letting things build up to much which has led to relapse. Ive got to make sure I post where I am everyday until everything stabilizes. The last thing I want to do is go back to that misery.

whitehorses

I became mean and nasty. .

Bunny211

Yes. And I had no idea. I went absolutely NUTS when I put down alcohol. I was the angriest person ever. I would bite the ankles of anyone who tried to help me or be kind to me. Then I wondered why no one was coming around. I am working the steps and I still struggle with this. I think we are stunted emotionally. Many of us also have traumatic life experiences and poor coping skills. It is totally normal to recognize this. I was shocked when I saw this in myself. But it can be worked on...and fixed. We are not hopelessly broken. We get a chance to be reborn as sober folks. It takes some time to get used to living life sober. One of the things my sponsor had me to early on was do one nice thing for someone each day and not get found out. Like, put away a few extra shopping carts at the market. Pick up someone else's trash. Send a card to a friend who is struggling. This got me in the habit of being kind. It was not that I didn't want to be kind...I didn't know how to be kind. I didn't know that I *wasn't* being kind. This all takes time. Give yourself a little grace. You're doing great!

Suzieq17

Thanks so much for sharing! I remember when I used to be kind, that was LONG ago--I let the drink take over for 23 years. Practicing an act of kindness each day is a great idea. Many thanks!

FreeOwl

I became meanest to myself. I didn't tend to be mean to others, though was more easily-provoked. But most of my drunkenness turned intself into self loathing, loneliness, sadness, self-pity.

I turned into my untreated wounds.

SnazzyDresser

I see now that you mainly meant at the times we weren't drinking, what we were like, were we mean then. But I was drinking so much that's almost a meaningless distinction.

Notimetoloose

I could be so indifferent to others around me, tackless and entitled. Also, I was in denial of the damage that my callous and big drunken opinions had on those around me...Sober, that is not me, I am not a mean person and I don't like conflict.

Michelle644

Ohhhh, I lost many friends do to my blunt mouth. The thing is I wouldn't remember what I said...sad, isn't it? I would call the person I spoke to the night before and blacked out on what I said and they wouldn't answer the phone or, tell me what a drunken jerk I am. I swear I always thought evil took over once I sipped my first drink.

uncorked

It really depended. Sometimes I could be mean, sometimes I was lovey dovey, sometimes nothing changed. But when I'm sober, I'm pretty even keeled. I realize that I had a lot of anger -- toward my husband, mostly -- and drinking "allowed" me to be angry and say things I wasn't brave enough to say sober. Of course, sometimes I said stuff I didn't mean and regretted it the next day. If I could remember.