newyearnewstart

Hi

This is my first post.

I want to try and stop drinking. I don't consider myself an alcoholic (well I don't know?? What is an alcoholic??)

I drink a lot, well quite a lot.

I work full time, I have three boys, my husband has a job where he works relatively long hours.

I get very very stressed trying to keep on top of working/the house/the kids/husband's needs! I feel pulled in a thousand directions and I get totally overwhelmed.

Drink helps - well thats what I've convinced myself! I don't drink every day. I probably get through a bottle of spirit a week. I don't think that is much but people around me do.

I can go two days without a drink quite easily but by the third day, I am struggling. I cannot wait to get home and pour myself a drink.

Sometimes (not often) I drink so much that I have memory blanks and am totally wiped out the next day, this honetly isn't that often but it happens.

I like the feeling when I have had a drink, I like the feeling of not stresing or not caring about what needs to be done or what I have to organise or remember, I like the feeling of not having to think for a couple of hours.

I have tried to explain to my husband, that drinking is a coping mechanism for me but I know he is disaproving and it irritates me - maybe thats my defence mechanism kicking in!

I am getting scared because I am 47, history of heart attacks in my family, I am overweight, tired all the time and need to sort myself out but I don't know if I can stop drinking altogether because I actually like it (at the time). My social life (not that I have a particulary active one!) but what ever family or friends I will socialie with all drink and any interactions are always revolved around drink.

I don't really know where to start and I don't know if I can stop... but I want to....

january161992

hi newyear

welcome and great first post

i went to aa for help

once i admitted in my heart that im an alcoholic and that my choices/ actions were causing me a lot of problems ... its called unmanageability .....

i stopped thinking about drinking

least

Welcome to the family NYNS. You won't be able to stay sober if you still want to drink more than you want to be sober. I hope you don't hit a rough patch while you're still drinking. Drinking carries so many risks.

I hope our support can help you want to get sober for good.

MariahGayle

Glad you posted NYNS....there is much support & encouragement here. Glad you are thinking about the effects alcohol has on your health.

newyearnewstart

Do you think I am using drink because I am not able to manage my life? I do get that but how do I change this way of coping?

Scruffanie

Welcome NewYear!

Thank you for your very honest first post.

I wasn't sure if I was an alcoholic, but I did know I had a drinking problem and my life, because of drinking, had become unmanageable. Exhausted all the time and always looking forward to drinking so I could blot out my worries rather than deal with them constructively.

I went to AA and it has given me something I could not give myself no matter how hard I tried, it has given me the freedom of not drinking.

I am an alcoholic, one drink will always lead to more for me.

Only you can decide if you have a problem with drinking, but with SR, and AA if you were to choose that road, you don't have to go it alone

Scruff xx

Coldfusion

Hi newyearnewstart!

I found that my life was unmanageable. I needed to re-work my life, not just find ways of coping. I used a Twelve-Step plan, but you can make any plan you want.

newyearnewstart

Thank you....I would never have the guts to go to a meeting but I am hoping this forum will be all I need. I don't think I am an alcoholic but that is based on my interpretation of what an alcoholic actually is and I am not sure I am right.

I cannot go more than a couple of days without a drink, I am soooo proud of myself if I ever manage nearly a week! I end up telling everyone I haven't had a drink for a week and I notice their faces looking a bit confused as to why I think that is a big deal.

Yes, I use drink as a way of eliviating stress, yes I drink when I'm p'd off and yes I drink to stop thinking.... I guess I have some kind of reliance on alcohol! I'm scated to comit to stopping incase I fail and then I think I would drink more

least

In early recovery I saw an addiction counselor once a week (for five years). She was a great help, and not only with my drinking. I also come here every day to read and post. I remember when I first came here, how much help I got. I hope we can do the same for you.

newyearnewstart

what is the 12 step plan? do you think it could help me manage my life/stress without relying on alcohol?

Delilah1

Welcome to SR!

I found this site a few years ago googling something related to the concerns about my drinking. I knew that I drank way too much, but it took me a few years alternating between short periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderation.
This past year I finally changed that, and I am celebrating one year sobriety today.

I am a full time working mom of three kiddos, and I completely relate to the craziness and stress that comes along with that. I spent many years outing myself a glass of wine the second I walked in the door, I said it was my stress release, I figured I deserved it after getting through work, homework...
The problem was all the things I was drinking to forget about we're still there the next morning. I woke up most mornings feeling foggy headed, and had to force myself to get me and the kids out the door. My anxiety grew throughout the day, and then I would repeat the same thing again the next night.

I made this year about making me a better me, and started with sobriety. I also made exercise and healthy eating a focus. I ended up the year 43 pounds lighter than I started, back into my healthy weight range. I really focused on mindfulness, and that has helped me with stress, and staying focused on the present.

You found your way here for a reason, take some time to read and post. Join the Class of January 2017, check into the 24 hour thread each day, those threads have been great for me.

I promise you will never regret waking up without a hangover. I hope to see you on here lots this year!!!

❤️ Delilah

newyearnewstart

thank you x

newyearnewstart

wow - thank you! just reading your post and seeing similarities to how I feel has already helped! I will try and fing the january 2017 thread....I am finding my way around the site and am not finding it that easy yet!

Coldfusion

I am referring to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. You may initially be turned off by the talk of "God," but the program actually only requires one to find a higher power of one's own understanding.

Working the Steps definitely gave may a better way of managing my life, resulting in much less stress.

newyearnewstart

ok thank you, I will look it up

Dee74

I'd stop thinking about it as coping.

Drinkings about running away, about never dealing with the problems or emotions we find difficult.

Instead we numb ourselves out.

you can learn to manage your life and deal with all kinds of problems sober. I t might take a little time an a little short term pain, but it's absolutely worth it

D