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Old 12-31-2016, 08:28 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Relief


Well, I just got home from two days of detox after a two day bender landed me in the hospital. I'm feeling good physically. Mentally, I'm having a tough time knowing what I just put my family through.

My kids had to see me unresponsive and being taken out on a stretcher after I passed out in my house. I'll be having an honest discussion with them.

The thing of it is, despite my guilt and shame, I actually feel a sense of relief that it's all out in the open finally. My wife knows the extent of my problem now, and so do my parents. They're all very supportive and want to help me get whatever help I need. I also got some good leads for treatment and AA while in detox.

Overall, I can't say it was a fun experience. It really wasn't. But I now have hope that I don't have to do this alone any longer. It's such a relief. I'm ready.

I plan to setup an appointment with my doctor next week when the clinic is open to talk about anti-craving medication and also get a referral for a chemical dependency counselor. I'm going to be open to whatever options are presented to me, no matter what. No more lies, no more hiding.
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Old 12-31-2016, 08:35 AM   #2 (permalink)
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You sound like you're ready to make this happen. It's awful what we put our families (and ourselves) through, but I'm glad you have hope and a good plan in place.
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Old 12-31-2016, 08:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
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At some point, living the lie is harder than facing the truth.

Wishing you strength and clarity.
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Old 12-31-2016, 08:42 AM   #4 (permalink)
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With you all the way brother
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Old 12-31-2016, 09:00 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Thanks for the support. I should add that there is not a drop of alcohol in the house any longer. My wife saw to that, and I'm glad she did.
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Old 12-31-2016, 12:56 PM   #6 (permalink)
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You can do this SoberLifeForMe, and SR is in your corner!!
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Old 01-01-2017, 01:19 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Well, I stayed up way later than I anticipated tonight, but it was definitely worth it. I played some games with the kids, and talked openly with the older ones about my stay in detox and what actions I'll be taking in the future to make the changes I need in my life.

It felt so tremendously good to be completely honest for once. They had some really good, tough questions, and even a few silly ones about what detox was like. I answered them all to the best of my ability. I have to say, though, that it's pretty heartbreaking to hear your kids tell you that they thought you had a seizure or a stroke.

I talked a lot with the other folks in detox while I was there. One man had been to that particular detox facility 27 times, as well as others. He was discharged at the same time I was, but told me that he's homeless and if he can't find somewhere to stay, he was going to drink again so he could go back and have a bed and meal. I was at a loss for words on how to respond.

It was definitely a learning experience. I'm very thankful to have a loving family and warm home to come back to and will definitely be praying for others that I met who don't have as much in life to give them hope for a better future.
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Old 01-01-2017, 03:40 AM   #8 (permalink)
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You can make this your year SLFM

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Old 01-01-2017, 03:55 AM   #9 (permalink)
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SL4M- Wgood insite. You are right- now the hard work begins. I keep in regular contact with my doc (depression plus physical- BP, weight and so on). A psychologist and AA for support. I also do SMART mettings. Well done. Hard works gives a dividend.
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Old 01-01-2017, 01:29 PM   #10 (permalink)
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wow

great

the beginnings of a fantastic adventure



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