Non intentional day 1
 

Today I didnt drink & today my brain had every reason for why I would/should drink, step kids driving me up the wall, partner driving me up the wall, living in an environment that I dont feel comfortable in etc.. And today I didnt drink, its been months since ive gone a day without drinking, not including hungover days, even if I dont get drunk or tipsy & only just have a glass or 2 of wine, I still drink everyday.. I was gonna stop boxing day but I told my partner, he said I should just drink more but less often, cause im heaps of fun when im drunk.. I felt so deflated & unsupported I just wanted to cry.. Do many people have unsupportive partners or do many people end moving on from the relationship they were in when they go sober?? It feels good to know, that as I sit by the fire tonight without a glass of red wine in my hand, i will sleep well & wake up without brain fog or a headache..

Hi Red :)
congrats on your day one :)

Many of our members have partners or families that simply do not or cannot understand alcoholism - if it was as easy as us drinking less we would have!

Some partners do grow to have a measure of understanding, or at least respect for our choices - but some do not....

The good thing is you'll always find support here :)

D

Thx Dee, I know mine doesnt understand as he doesnt have this problem, when he does drink he drinks too excess but its not too often & he thinks its fun, i HATE getting drunk. Im not sure if I could be sober & have a partner that wants to get drunk & party, I can see the temptation already..

It's possible to stay sober even with a drinking or even alcoholic partner - this is your recovery Red - no one else's :)

D

Welcome! Lots of support and good info around here.

Im a bit up in the air about it all at the moment tbh.. Ive been reading posts here on SR for a few days now & I can only admire people for staying sober around a partner that drinks, im worried about it a lot, that it will compromise my sobriety.. We have some big occasions coming up that I cant get out of & my partner will defo be getting wasted & I will find it hard to stay sober... How do I do it??!!!

I did it by focussing on the reasons I wanted to get well, rather than what he or anyone else was doing.

One of the things that I had to get through early on was a couple we both know getting married. They were people we often partied with. I had a Hen weekend in Berlin to navigate through, and then the wedding itself, where they'd taken over a converted barn site, so their families has a house each, they had one, and we (the friends )all shared a house - ten of us - all my old drinking buddies and my partner for the whole weekend, and another massive group camping in an adjoining field.

I managed by taking both events an hour at a time. Thinking through my decisions as they came up. Being honest with others about what i needed. In Berlin I stayed very close to this forum, and Dee and others got me through. At the wedding weekend, the thing that struck me was that actually there were LOADS of people not drinking, or who had only drunk a little, and we're happy to leave ut at that. What a strange phenomena. Every so often I felt a little overwhelmed, or tired, or people started getting on my nerves. At these points I headed back ovr to our shared house for a break and a mug of tea and a biscuit. And guess what. Each time I did that, there were others there doing the exact same thing. It was like being let in on a new secret world that I'd not realised existed before. My wild drinking friends double life, as tea quaffers and biscuit munchers. Hmmmmm. The Berlin weekend I was very honest and upfront about what I felt I could and couldn't cope with. Each night I came out with everyone, with more than adequate taxi cash and reputable taxi drinkers cards in my purse (ands recommended by the staff on reception at the hotel), and there wasn't a single evening where at least two or three other girls didn't ask if they could travel back with me because they'd had enough as well. In the mornings I put myself on hangover nurse duty and went out for cold drinks and snacks to nurse the bride and others back to health after their excesses. It was all much easier than I'd imagined it would be.

Our AVs are very good at tugging at our fears and making us feel like this is a challenge that is completely beyond us. And that's just not so. Hopefully our experience strength and hope will help carry you through the first few times. Then , after that yiu will have the knowledge that you did it before so can do it again.

With hope and acceptance and willingness, all things are possible.

hi red

my parents and family wonder why i still go to those meetings after so many years

they dont believe/ just dont get that im an alcoholic ...

and thats ok

it only matters that i know that im an alcoholic

God bless

:tyou

My husband and I drank together for years - I honestly think it was a major point of relation. Everything got very bad and dark for me and I left him for a bit. He told me I could never get sober on my own.

Well I am sober ten months Jan 15, I am still married and in the same house, and he still drinks (not as much as I did, but about four to six times a week).

You can do this.