What's your size? New Year's Weekender 16 - 17
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi Koala
I'm determined to be up to welcome in the new year by opening all the windows in our home to let the old year out & to let the new year in (A tradition my late mother showed me) but I'm rapidly tiring and fear I may fall asleep hopefully I won't and hope to wish everyone here a happy new year
I'm determined to be up to welcome in the new year by opening all the windows in our home to let the old year out & to let the new year in (A tradition my late mother showed me) but I'm rapidly tiring and fear I may fall asleep hopefully I won't and hope to wish everyone here a happy new year
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I'm so pleasantly surprised. We invited a stranger for NYE, and I fears it would be awkward.
Well, it wasn't. We were all having such a good, in-depth conversation that I forgot to cook the broccoli and potatoes! When the meat was ready, I had to throw a bag of spinach on the table and get out some dressing.
I did quickly chop a red onion for those who like it.
Now they're all having a good time in the living room. I'm rushing to throw dishes in the dishwasher so I can join in!
Well, it wasn't. We were all having such a good, in-depth conversation that I forgot to cook the broccoli and potatoes! When the meat was ready, I had to throw a bag of spinach on the table and get out some dressing.
I did quickly chop a red onion for those who like it.
Now they're all having a good time in the living room. I'm rushing to throw dishes in the dishwasher so I can join in!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
It feels like the whole world is at a big party while I'm at home reading My Life Goals Journal - Wellness Strategies To Transform Your Life.
I had planned on going out tonight but I backed out. I never liked New Year's Eve. Too packed, too messy, cover charges and then walking for miles to get a taxi. No thanks. Never a night I enjoyed. Also the thought of holding a diet coke above my head while I wade through several thousand people turned me off the idea.
I know I said no more dates but I did get asked out for tomorrow. I always thought it was difficult to meet men. It turns out that I was wrong. It is easy to meet men when you get yourself a job and you no longer live in your parents attic. Also when you have stopped drinking and people tell you that "you look good and your skin and eyes are glowing". I don't want to go out with just anyone though. Although I do enjoy the experience of getting dressed up etc etc. Also isn't it wonderful that after so many years of locking myself away that I am actually enjoying being sociable and being out and about? I think this new found mental freedom is a wonderful thing.
I know I live down the road from a large hospital and I'm well used to hearing ambulance sirens but I've never heard so many in such a short space of time as I have tonight.
I hope they are ok, whoever they are.
I had planned on going out tonight but I backed out. I never liked New Year's Eve. Too packed, too messy, cover charges and then walking for miles to get a taxi. No thanks. Never a night I enjoyed. Also the thought of holding a diet coke above my head while I wade through several thousand people turned me off the idea.
I know I said no more dates but I did get asked out for tomorrow. I always thought it was difficult to meet men. It turns out that I was wrong. It is easy to meet men when you get yourself a job and you no longer live in your parents attic. Also when you have stopped drinking and people tell you that "you look good and your skin and eyes are glowing". I don't want to go out with just anyone though. Although I do enjoy the experience of getting dressed up etc etc. Also isn't it wonderful that after so many years of locking myself away that I am actually enjoying being sociable and being out and about? I think this new found mental freedom is a wonderful thing.
I know I live down the road from a large hospital and I'm well used to hearing ambulance sirens but I've never heard so many in such a short space of time as I have tonight.
I hope they are ok, whoever they are.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Tetra there's nothing I miss about the old days I started journalling again tonight first time I have held a pen in some time bar my weightlifting data
Right now you are awesome you might not feel it but trust me when the pics of everyone get shown tomorrow in the paper of people vomiting sitting near a gutter looking like complete wrecks I don't miss that no offence to them but gosh I'm glad I'm not like that no more & we both have our sober lives ahead with endless & boundless possibilities xx
Head up Tetra x
Right now you are awesome you might not feel it but trust me when the pics of everyone get shown tomorrow in the paper of people vomiting sitting near a gutter looking like complete wrecks I don't miss that no offence to them but gosh I'm glad I'm not like that no more & we both have our sober lives ahead with endless & boundless possibilities xx
Head up Tetra x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I'm done internetting for today.
Happy New Year to all you lovely people.
I had dinner - steak and mashed pertaters. I use yogurt in place of sour cream.
Pro-tip = the plain yogurt container looks a lot like the vanilla yogurt in the refrigerator. Luckily the vanilla yogurt mashed potatoes weren't noticeably vanilla-y.
A little extra spices and no one was the wiser.
Thanks for being here. xox
Happy New Year to all you lovely people.
I had dinner - steak and mashed pertaters. I use yogurt in place of sour cream.
Pro-tip = the plain yogurt container looks a lot like the vanilla yogurt in the refrigerator. Luckily the vanilla yogurt mashed potatoes weren't noticeably vanilla-y.
A little extra spices and no one was the wiser.Thanks for being here. xox
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Congratulations, English and Irish!
Quarter to nine here. Finished chopping pepperoni and cheese. Now my daughter is reading, the young guys are playing some strategy board game that involves saying the word "hacienda" over and over, and Grandpa is sitting tight on the couch with the grandkids watching "THEM!", a movie from the 50s about a giant alien ant colony attack.
Finally I have a chance to surf!
Quarter to nine here. Finished chopping pepperoni and cheese. Now my daughter is reading, the young guys are playing some strategy board game that involves saying the word "hacienda" over and over, and Grandpa is sitting tight on the couch with the grandkids watching "THEM!", a movie from the 50s about a giant alien ant colony attack.
Finally I have a chance to surf!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Originally Posted by Weasel1966 
[
How about we do a check in for anyone that wants but mostly for the newer folks of first time sober New Years folks.
A simple Here is fine or an update.
If you drank and feel like you cant speak up that is NOT TRUE. I struggled for a long time here and trying. Get back at it today with us and say a simple hello. No judgements here.
.
How about we do a check in for anyone that wants but mostly for the newer folks of first time sober New Years folks.
A simple Here is fine or an update.
If you drank and feel like you cant speak up that is NOT TRUE. I struggled for a long time here and trying. Get back at it today with us and say a simple hello. No judgements here.
.
Some of you know that I busted six weeks ago....heaps of days not-drinking in the first two, and then (my calendar cannot lie) a puny six days sober scattered through the whole of December. The last one was 10 days ago.....and I have picked up this afternoon. After every single day of the usual relapse caper - pouring out remainders, then buying more later on. This morning - Jan 1 2017 - I even more earnestly embarked on basic withdrawal management stuff. Symptoms were pretty mild overall.....started feeling a bit better, even went out just before to do some light plant trimming. So I can't even whine: 'oh, I had to drink because the withdrawals were so scary'. No, it was ALL Addictive Voice, ALL addiction, no bones about it.
So, I'm pretty effed off with myself. This is how it's played out every single time I've 'just had a lapse'.....over so many years now, at least twice a year, ending up in full relapse mode, having NOT STOPPED early enough and stayed stopped before the invisible line is crossed.
I'm actually really envious, truth be told, reading everyone's great stories of getting through this big holiday period sober, and enjoying themselves to boot. I too was able to do that only last year (2015) - over my 60th birthday on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, all the way though until one day mid January...when the above cycle slowly and then inexorably began again.
But it's important that I tell this stuff - particularly for any newcomers to sobriety. From the frontlines, as it were.
I figure I'll have to see about availability of a rehab bed..............................again. But I know from past years that the waiting list will be long, as may be the dog's boarding kennels while everyone's off on hols. I want my effing sobriety / sober life back! The only sort-of upside is that my mental health status is currently ok....but it won't be if I can't even get to my psych appointment this Thursday, as she quite appropriately said that we can't do this work if I have alcohol in my system.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
bemyself- I am sorry you are caught up in the cycle again. I hope you make it a priority to make it to your appointment on Thursday and take care of yourself. You can get your sober life back!! 
I have been there too. Happy New years.
I have been there too. Happy New years.
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
(((bemyself))) thanks for posting.
Congratulations Sao on your 2 years!
I'm ALL in this weekend and am ever so grateful to the Weekenders thread. It is here that I first learned about the importance of HALT. It saved me many a time in my first few weeks and it is the first thing I check when I feel out of sorts. I added a few things so it is HALTS for me. Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired/Thirsty, or Stressed/Sad? Maybe this will help someone the way it helped me. Thank you Ken for your epic post about HALT!! It is in my permanent recovery binder.
Happy New Year weekenders! -
Congratulations Sao on your 2 years!
I'm ALL in this weekend and am ever so grateful to the Weekenders thread. It is here that I first learned about the importance of HALT. It saved me many a time in my first few weeks and it is the first thing I check when I feel out of sorts. I added a few things so it is HALTS for me. Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired/Thirsty, or Stressed/Sad? Maybe this will help someone the way it helped me. Thank you Ken for your epic post about HALT!! It is in my permanent recovery binder.
Happy New Year weekenders! -
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Have you thought about AVRT Vic - if your addictive voice is giving you trouble that seems to me to be an method you might be able to work with.
I have nothing against rehabs at all, and I appreciate it's a break from the inner turmoil, but the bottom line, for everyone I think, is to learn to live sober, to meet our AV head on, and stare it down.
The next 20 years could be the best of your life Vic
D
I have nothing against rehabs at all, and I appreciate it's a break from the inner turmoil, but the bottom line, for everyone I think, is to learn to live sober, to meet our AV head on, and stare it down.
The next 20 years could be the best of your life Vic
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Absolutely, Dee. I delved heavily into AVRT / RR ages ago (primarily through Terminally Unique's threads and others; I've practiced it numerous times, including recently; I brought out my copy of heavily annotated and highlighted RR book only the other day to remind myself.......
As you may have gathered, I'm also an AA member, get into Refuge Recovery and related approaches, and any and all (frankly) of the more psychological / neuroscience approaches too. I've been quite the bowerbird - which is just how I am anyway, and that often works well for me.
At some point, at some time - not always 'known in advance' - I have literally chosen / decided to pick up that first drink. Even RR talks about that in detail, in fact makes us 'see' it). RR calls it 'vertigo'; AA calls it 'that strange mental blank spot'. Both of these images and feelings don't always - for me (and I'm not terminally unique :-)) - operate quite like that. It's as if I'm both there in rational thought (AVRT's 'oh, this is vertigo' or AA's 'don't pick up the first drink') and also here (in a state of decision where 'just that drink' seems a bit dodgy yet also OK). It is a decision, when all is said and done, after one has felt and experienced and lived some sober life.
Making that decision becomes less and less of a decision (rationally, with the prefrontal cortex / executive functions) after that first drink. Off the brain firing goes......colliding with all my recovery experience and knowledge....and it happens to people with 5,10, 20, 30 years of good solid sobriety. I've heard the stories of that hundreds of times from those who've been there - surely one of the most hideous places to be. Here in SR, EndGame, for example, and some who return to AA / NA / rehab after seriously long term sobriety. It's enough to make some feel utter despair that we can ever kick this thing to the curb, 'for good'.
The best I can do is to simply keep coming back. As they often say: it takes what it takes. Not something I'd recommend, of course, here in newcomers. But it is a fact for some of us.
As you may have gathered, I'm also an AA member, get into Refuge Recovery and related approaches, and any and all (frankly) of the more psychological / neuroscience approaches too. I've been quite the bowerbird - which is just how I am anyway, and that often works well for me.
At some point, at some time - not always 'known in advance' - I have literally chosen / decided to pick up that first drink. Even RR talks about that in detail, in fact makes us 'see' it). RR calls it 'vertigo'; AA calls it 'that strange mental blank spot'. Both of these images and feelings don't always - for me (and I'm not terminally unique :-)) - operate quite like that. It's as if I'm both there in rational thought (AVRT's 'oh, this is vertigo' or AA's 'don't pick up the first drink') and also here (in a state of decision where 'just that drink' seems a bit dodgy yet also OK). It is a decision, when all is said and done, after one has felt and experienced and lived some sober life.
Making that decision becomes less and less of a decision (rationally, with the prefrontal cortex / executive functions) after that first drink. Off the brain firing goes......colliding with all my recovery experience and knowledge....and it happens to people with 5,10, 20, 30 years of good solid sobriety. I've heard the stories of that hundreds of times from those who've been there - surely one of the most hideous places to be. Here in SR, EndGame, for example, and some who return to AA / NA / rehab after seriously long term sobriety. It's enough to make some feel utter despair that we can ever kick this thing to the curb, 'for good'.
The best I can do is to simply keep coming back. As they often say: it takes what it takes. Not something I'd recommend, of course, here in newcomers. But it is a fact for some of us.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,663
The 'thing' for me (and it is hard- needs someone for guidance) is this...
I have experience, knowledge, skills and a brain. How do I use these to approach life differently so I do not make the same mistakes?
Otherwise it is if I always have a routine every morning. I get up at 0600, shower, eat, collect what I need for the day. I always leave home at 0715 sharp to catch the train to work. It is exactly 12 minutes to the train stop. And every day I always miss the train by about 30 seconds. WHY? I have a routine, I am organised and am aware of how long it takes to get to the train stop. So why do I keep missing the train? Why do I always fail? Why do I repeat the same patterns- expect something to change when I have not changed anything to effect change?
I have experience, knowledge, skills and a brain. How do I use these to approach life differently so I do not make the same mistakes?
Otherwise it is if I always have a routine every morning. I get up at 0600, shower, eat, collect what I need for the day. I always leave home at 0715 sharp to catch the train to work. It is exactly 12 minutes to the train stop. And every day I always miss the train by about 30 seconds. WHY? I have a routine, I am organised and am aware of how long it takes to get to the train stop. So why do I keep missing the train? Why do I always fail? Why do I repeat the same patterns- expect something to change when I have not changed anything to effect change?
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