Day two and just went to my first meeting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 142
Day two and just went to my first meeting
I was so afraid of going to aa. I attached it with so much anxiety that i would freeze and make up any excuse. Glad i went and hope tmrw ro go to another. I was so sad to be there but so relieved i did at the same time. Sad that this is where my life is but relieved that i am finally doing something instead of just talking about it and making more excuses (lying to myself). Just feeling positive on this day two and new progress....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 874
Sometimes the anticipation of an event is the worst part. Your mind can really play tricks on you.
It is sad in a way - sort of a grieving process to let go of the booze even when its done terrible things to you.
Keep at it, life gets better every day.
It is sad in a way - sort of a grieving process to let go of the booze even when its done terrible things to you.
Keep at it, life gets better every day.
Keep going, it gets better. 
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
What,
Remembering we are addicts is a great reminder to keep the focus on whatever it takes to stay clean. The crave and anxiety will come in waves and ramp up for a while.
We crossed the line at some point and the addiction switch flipped. There is no flipping back.
I have yet to read or hear about a person who drank addictively and later was able to drink like a normal drinker. If there was someone out there, they would be a very special exception.
If you decide the AA method is what you need, keep going back. It can keep you busy and happy.
SR has been my go to method.
Here I am, having trouble sleeping....
Thanks.
Remembering we are addicts is a great reminder to keep the focus on whatever it takes to stay clean. The crave and anxiety will come in waves and ramp up for a while.
We crossed the line at some point and the addiction switch flipped. There is no flipping back.
I have yet to read or hear about a person who drank addictively and later was able to drink like a normal drinker. If there was someone out there, they would be a very special exception.
If you decide the AA method is what you need, keep going back. It can keep you busy and happy.
SR has been my go to method.
Here I am, having trouble sleeping....
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Glad you went along and that it went well. Keep coming back. It Works If you work it!
I found the speaker recordings very useful as well. Might be worth investigating. .. 5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly! and the little Living Sober book is an easy read but is absolutely crammed full of wisdom. You can buy it online (I bought it from Amazon for my Kindle, as I did with the Big Book and 12 and 12 as well, although I did end up getting hard copies of those two as well, so I could underline and highlight things more quickly).
Best of luck with it. Have you investigated the 12-step area on SR? Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I found the speaker recordings very useful as well. Might be worth investigating. .. 5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly! and the little Living Sober book is an easy read but is absolutely crammed full of wisdom. You can buy it online (I bought it from Amazon for my Kindle, as I did with the Big Book and 12 and 12 as well, although I did end up getting hard copies of those two as well, so I could underline and highlight things more quickly).
Best of luck with it. Have you investigated the 12-step area on SR? Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,133
You did so well to go. That's courage.
Two or three months ago I drove all the way across town to go to a speaker meeting. Not too much anxiety. Then when I was about to turn into the parking lot I remembered about the people having to read the traditions and that other stuff at the beginning and I was afraid of having to do that. Collected myself and decided I was still going in, got out of my car, walked around to the back of the church, and when I looked in a window from outside the church and saw a room that didn't look like it was set up for a speaker meeting, I bolted.
So yeah, you did great and you should be proud of it.
Two or three months ago I drove all the way across town to go to a speaker meeting. Not too much anxiety. Then when I was about to turn into the parking lot I remembered about the people having to read the traditions and that other stuff at the beginning and I was afraid of having to do that. Collected myself and decided I was still going in, got out of my car, walked around to the back of the church, and when I looked in a window from outside the church and saw a room that didn't look like it was set up for a speaker meeting, I bolted.
So yeah, you did great and you should be proud of it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 142
Went to a second meeting tonight. It was much differant and didnt care for it. It lasted about 15 minutes and everyone had to talk. I had nothing to say as i obviously barely even know the steps to even relate and give input. Are their certain key words in a meeting listing that would suggest this type of meeting. I liked last night because someone spoke and then people gave feedback. Less pressure to speak this early on...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 78
If you Google your state/district, usually the meeting codes will show up before the listing of the meetings - so just find the ones you like/dislike & take note of the type of meeting. Sounds like the 1st one was a Speaker/Discussion Mtg.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by whatcouldbe 
Went to a second meeting tonight. It was much differant and didnt care for it. It lasted about 15 minutes and everyone had to talk. I had nothing to say as i obviously barely even know the steps to even relate and give input. Are their certain key words in a meeting listing that would suggest this type of meeting. I liked last night because someone spoke and then people gave feedback. Less pressure to speak this early on...
In some of the study meetings I've been to we read a bit other big book, then go round the table, taking turns. But people don't have to speak. They can just say 'pass' and then it'd go over to the next person. Did they know you were a newcomer? If so, someone should've clarified that for you. What was it described as in the listing? Thing is, when I look at lists for other areas where there are more meetings than round here, some of them aren't familiar titles. Happy to try and help you make sense of your list of options though I you care to share them.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
Meetings are a good mix of real life. Like being on a bus or something. There are some who like to make themselves noticed, agitated ones, happy, sad.....
You do not have to like all meetings or hate all meetings. I often find I learn heaps about myself if I sit and listen and try and work out why I do not like it. An opportunity to grow.. Sometimes I love one part of a meeting- then person X comes along and I do not like that bit. I put the feelings aside and sort them later- in the quiet of my own space. I write lots of stuff down. Dynamics hit some too. There is 1 guy who thinks he is so good because he does service work- like gives a person a ride or reminds people they are eating too many biscuits at meetings. A mix. Other follow the steps of AA religiously, or believe in god. Others snap back at god people. A mix. The intent is the same. We all seek to keep sober - to listen and learn. To share and grow without judging others. Some follow the big book in a very black and white manner. Whatever floats your boat...
You do not have to like all meetings or hate all meetings. I often find I learn heaps about myself if I sit and listen and try and work out why I do not like it. An opportunity to grow.. Sometimes I love one part of a meeting- then person X comes along and I do not like that bit. I put the feelings aside and sort them later- in the quiet of my own space. I write lots of stuff down. Dynamics hit some too. There is 1 guy who thinks he is so good because he does service work- like gives a person a ride or reminds people they are eating too many biscuits at meetings. A mix. Other follow the steps of AA religiously, or believe in god. Others snap back at god people. A mix. The intent is the same. We all seek to keep sober - to listen and learn. To share and grow without judging others. Some follow the big book in a very black and white manner. Whatever floats your boat...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ
Meetings are a good mix of real life. Like being on a bus or something. There are some who like to make themselves noticed, agitated ones, happy, sad.....
You do not have to like all meetings or hate all meetings. I often find I learn heaps about myself if I sit and listen and try and work out why I do not like it. An opportunity to grow.. Sometimes I love one part of a meeting- then person X comes along and I do not like that bit. I put the feelings aside and sort them later- in the quiet of my own space. I write lots of stuff down. Dynamics hit some too. There is 1 guy who thinks he is so good because he does service work- like gives a person a ride or reminds people they are eating too many biscuits at meetings. A mix. Other follow the steps of AA religiously, or believe in god. Others snap back at god people. A mix. The intent is the same. We all seek to keep sober - to listen and learn. To share and grow without judging others. Some follow the big book in a very black and white manner. Whatever floats your boat...
You do not have to like all meetings or hate all meetings. I often find I learn heaps about myself if I sit and listen and try and work out why I do not like it. An opportunity to grow.. Sometimes I love one part of a meeting- then person X comes along and I do not like that bit. I put the feelings aside and sort them later- in the quiet of my own space. I write lots of stuff down. Dynamics hit some too. There is 1 guy who thinks he is so good because he does service work- like gives a person a ride or reminds people they are eating too many biscuits at meetings. A mix. Other follow the steps of AA religiously, or believe in god. Others snap back at god people. A mix. The intent is the same. We all seek to keep sober - to listen and learn. To share and grow without judging others. Some follow the big book in a very black and white manner. Whatever floats your boat...
Does he seriously do that?? Haha.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Good job on going- yep, there are lots of different meetings. At first, I went almost entirely to "Open Discussion" meetings which (at least here in Atlanta and other cities where I have attended, in the SE) mean that anyone can attend (you don't have to be a member or an alcoholic even) and typically there is an intro person (who might also be the speaker) and a topic laid out, and people contribute. I learned a lot by listening and didn't speak til well into a few months sober.
As we say, keep coming back. As I have progressed (going on 11 mo now) I have mixed it up a good bit and gone to more in depth meetings like Traditions or As Bill W Sees It.....don't worry about all that now- and if you keep going, you can't help but learn not just "key words" but very consistent concepts that are the program. Personally, I still don't like any meeting where there is pressure/expectation to speak- except for my home group which is an intimate setting and we are all friendly even outside the room, so I am pretty much always comfortable saying something- just know that as was said above, you do not have to speak.
Perhaps try the 90 (meetings) in 90 (days) suggestion that you will likely hear. I did about 82 in my first 90 and IME the repetition was significant in a lot of ways- forming the habit of going, and the growing knowledge of the steps and program.
As we say, keep coming back. As I have progressed (going on 11 mo now) I have mixed it up a good bit and gone to more in depth meetings like Traditions or As Bill W Sees It.....don't worry about all that now- and if you keep going, you can't help but learn not just "key words" but very consistent concepts that are the program. Personally, I still don't like any meeting where there is pressure/expectation to speak- except for my home group which is an intimate setting and we are all friendly even outside the room, so I am pretty much always comfortable saying something- just know that as was said above, you do not have to speak.
Perhaps try the 90 (meetings) in 90 (days) suggestion that you will likely hear. I did about 82 in my first 90 and IME the repetition was significant in a lot of ways- forming the habit of going, and the growing knowledge of the steps and program.
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