August252015

For me, any polite and clear reason was a-OK. I didn't find the need to use many because at first I wasn't around alcohol at all, unless at dinner with my parents and my dad might have one or two beers tops, and I still (at just past 10 mo) don't spend much time around it, anywhere. One exception being that I work in a restaurant and in addition to serving it, most people drink so it comes up. If I participate in conversations, it is not a big deal to say I don't drink.

Also....I am increasing reflexive in my "I don't drink" response(s) and at times, the elaborating on why if someone asks questions. Feels ok to me.

Staying sober - not worrying about what I tell other people, what they know or what they think of me- is not something I worry about applying "rigorous honesty" to. I just make it a non-issue, to me, and move on.

MidnightBlue

I feel better this way (not a lie at all!).

It's going to be my 5th alco-free New Year. A couple of days a colleague said something like "Well, of course not drinking has its perks, but one has to relax".

I shrugged it off: "I relax. I just don't drink".

Don't sweat too much over it. Advertisements lie all around about happy people drinking all sorts of alcohol. And no one seems to be bothered about this)

entropy1964

This is such a common concern for recovering alcoholics.

I don't know other's experience but I know I made more of this than I needed to. There are many people that don't drink, for whatever reason. I found that just saying no thanks was usually enough. Every once in a while I would get a few questions to which I replied its unhealthy. For me, I have a voice inside me that asks the most questions...almost as if its trying to convince me that I'm lying if I say 'I don't drink'. It doesn't like that statement Rather strange since its the truth.

Conquest

Only a couple of times has someone pressed past my "No thanks" or "water, please". And when they have, they were intoxicated. I just let them ramble and smile sweetly, laugh at their dumb comments, and continue with my water order. They eventually move on and I do too.

Editing to add that I've also said, "I'm allergic" or "I'm on antibiotics". Those usually shut the turkeys right up. Lol

Keep at it folks!

Steely

Proud to be a non drinker, and proud to say so.

tomsteve

why don't you want to keep it simple?


i was out once on a roadtrip with a group of sober riders- about a dozen of us. pulled our bikes into a restaurant in petosky,mi for lunch.
waitress got us all set up with menus and asked if any of us would like a drink- they had_______ on special. a few no thank yous then she said,"are you sure?"
"yes,maam"
"well, we have other drinks available."
which one man said,"thank you ,maam, but you don't have enough alcohol if we were to have a drink."

she left the table with a puzzled look, but WE understood.

MelindaFlowers

I tell them the truth that I'm a non-drinker. If they pry, I say "I quit when I was 30." One person I know has asked beyond that. I said I did it to be healthier.

I haven't met anyone who wasn't satisfied with those answers in my two and a half years of sobriety.

Aellyce

My experience is also that we alcoholics think and care about drinking or not drinking far more than anyone else. I really don't see why to make a bigger fuss about not drinking than not liking a certain kind of food and therefore not eating it. Even if we did in the past... people's tastes and diets can change. For example, I don't like sweets and sugary foods in general. I think typically more people eat them than not. There are many situations in social life when people eat sweet things (desserts, fruits, cakes at celebrations, a little chocolate etc). Part of this choice is that I genuinely do not enjoy the taste and there is another old historical element and influence that contributes to my avoiding it in a more psychological way. Just don't desire them at all.

I usually just say "no thanks" or "I don't drink/eat sweets". No one needs to know more details than that really. Yes sometimes people are surprised for a moment but that's about it. Why to lie?

BrendaChenowyth

Just say you don't drink. It's not a lie. Nothing more is required or expected of you.

larrylive

" No thanks, I'm good"

Why.....why is the focus on alcohol? It's sad to think that society thinks it appropriate to insist on taking a drink (of alcohol) If the offer was soda, would the giver insistently push the drink. Or is it just that we alcoholics interpret the offer differently?

fini

I simply say no thanks.
no need to say anything else. repeat if necessary, with enigmatic smile.
if someone were absolutely obnoxiously asking why, or why not, or what is that about, or what is wrong with me???
i would turn it around and enquire about their oddly strenuous interest in my polite 'no thanks' and put the focus on them for being so insistent and I'd musingly lightly probe what this insistence might be about?

I've never yet had the opportunity to do this, as no one has been that pushy in all my sober years.