Booze-free holidays
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 6
Booze-free holidays
Pointers for getting through the holidays without being miserable??? Almost at three weeks sober.. horrible cravings. I want to avoid all the awkward conversations about not drinking. I've made it kind of public which is both a blessing (holding me accountable) and a curse, because I've let so many other people in on my sobriety. I have yet to attend an AA meeting and am instead trying to utilize this online community for extra support through the holiday season. Any words of wisdom are appreciated!
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Hi Frankie,
I think Dee's thread may help, link below
I've been very open about my problem with my family (I had no choice!), which makes things a lot easier. Friends are a different kettle of fish, but i'm just going to tell them I'm not drinking anymore. Thats all i need to say.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
I think Dee's thread may help, link below
I've been very open about my problem with my family (I had no choice!), which makes things a lot easier. Friends are a different kettle of fish, but i'm just going to tell them I'm not drinking anymore. Thats all i need to say. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi Frankie the link above has everything you need to build a solid plan of recovery
Also for added support aswell as this forum there is an online meeting here @ SR at 9pm Est
Stick close to us we'll get you through
Also for added support aswell as this forum there is an online meeting here @ SR at 9pm Est
Stick close to us we'll get you through
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,359
I think support from other addicts and alcoholics really helps.
Try throw yourself into family best you can - enjoy the kids faces etc - thats the real Spirit of Xmas - not the stuff in bottles
D
Try throw yourself into family best you can - enjoy the kids faces etc - thats the real Spirit of Xmas - not the stuff in bottles
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 197
I specifically asked my psychiatrist for a switch to Antabuse for the holidays just as a back up to my desire and work to choose sobriety.
That's an excellent list - I found it so much easier to turn down drinks with a soda in hand at a house party than to turn down wine at a restaurant Christmas dinner with friends since it was obvious I didn't have any other drink. They were really surprised I didn't want in on the wine.
Good luck and hope you can make it through sober
That's an excellent list - I found it so much easier to turn down drinks with a soda in hand at a house party than to turn down wine at a restaurant Christmas dinner with friends since it was obvious I didn't have any other drink. They were really surprised I didn't want in on the wine.
Good luck and hope you can make it through sober
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
Leave any functions early if necessary...this is about you and your long term health..
It is the silly season and after few days of people around you drinking and continually asking if you 'would like a drink,' it can have the power to weaken the strongest resolve.
In early sobriety, I would avoid get-togethers many times....I found them so tough, I felt uncomfortable and hyper vigilant about the alcohol around me.
Just dont ever have that first drink. : )
It is the silly season and after few days of people around you drinking and continually asking if you 'would like a drink,' it can have the power to weaken the strongest resolve.
In early sobriety, I would avoid get-togethers many times....I found them so tough, I felt uncomfortable and hyper vigilant about the alcohol around me.
Just dont ever have that first drink. : )
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Last year I managed to dispel any thoughts of it being a remotely good idea by playing the tape through and realising what had brought me here only a few weeks earlier and how bad my life would be if I continued to let it be controlled by drink / drugs and what other people thought or wanted (or what I thought other people thought or wanted).
You are doing this for you because you need to and want to and believe me it's the best thing you will ever do bar none - just don't for one minute let your AV or anyone else convimce you that just one won't hurt etc - remember it's poison and we definitely don't need it in our bodies or screwing our minds up anymore.
Personally last year I ditched the lot and avoided being around everything except one night on NYE which was spent at friends but I stayed firmly put in the corner on here before making an early exit to bed.
I won't lie last year was extremely tough as I was too in the very early stages but it is doable as long as you ensure you tell yourself no matter what you are not going to give in for anyone or anything and going to stay strong.
Post on here but also have an exit plan if you really have to attend anything (to be honest there's nothing we really can't get out of if we really need to - we were good at sneaking and lying to protect our drinking and drugging a little white lie to feign illness if necessary will not do you any harm if you really want avoid any get togethers or events that you feel uncomfortable with - just do what is right for you and protect your sobriety at all costs and by whatever means necessary)
You are doing this for you because you need to and want to and believe me it's the best thing you will ever do bar none - just don't for one minute let your AV or anyone else convimce you that just one won't hurt etc - remember it's poison and we definitely don't need it in our bodies or screwing our minds up anymore.
Personally last year I ditched the lot and avoided being around everything except one night on NYE which was spent at friends but I stayed firmly put in the corner on here before making an early exit to bed.
I won't lie last year was extremely tough as I was too in the very early stages but it is doable as long as you ensure you tell yourself no matter what you are not going to give in for anyone or anything and going to stay strong.
Post on here but also have an exit plan if you really have to attend anything (to be honest there's nothing we really can't get out of if we really need to - we were good at sneaking and lying to protect our drinking and drugging a little white lie to feign illness if necessary will not do you any harm if you really want avoid any get togethers or events that you feel uncomfortable with - just do what is right for you and protect your sobriety at all costs and by whatever means necessary)
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Originally Posted by frankie8778 
Pointers for getting through the holidays without being miserable??? Almost at three weeks sober.. horrible cravings. I want to avoid all the awkward conversations about not drinking. I've made it kind of public which is both a blessing (holding me accountable) and a curse, because I've let so many other people in on my sobriety. I have yet to attend an AA meeting and am instead trying to utilize this online community for extra support through the holiday season. Any words of wisdom are appreciated!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Having an escape plan may sound a little crazy, but is needed. It can be to go for a walk, you need to get back to work on a project due by the end of year. It can be as simple conversation with someone you have shared and trusted your sobriety with and just let them know that you are not ready for this yet.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi, you say 'yet' to attend an AA meeting as though this is something that you're considering. I'd suggest getting to one today. The people there will be aware of what meetings are happening on Christmas day. I know I'll be pleased to be opening up the doors to other alcoholics on Christmas day night, and would hate to think that anyone in the vicinity is struggling to stay sober, unaware of the welcome and support that is there for them.
I'd also suggest thinking about what made Christmas fun for you as a kid. Can you do some of those things? I posted a while back about how much I was looking forward to Christmas this year (2.5 years sober) as I'd got non-drinking Christmassy stuff lined up. Some volunteering, some treats, some with friends, some solitary. Our first Christmas sober is always tough as we have come to believe that Christmas is all about booze, and it's difficult to know what potential for pleasure it holds without it. This year my Christmas day will be communion at my local church first thing, then off to help out at a local Christmas lunch for people who'd otherwise be alone that day, and then an AA meeting in the evening. I'm looking forward to it. It's hardly party party, or what I'd once have looked forward to, but I know that it'll give me more pleasure than drinking to oblivion would.
I'd also suggest thinking about what made Christmas fun for you as a kid. Can you do some of those things? I posted a while back about how much I was looking forward to Christmas this year (2.5 years sober) as I'd got non-drinking Christmassy stuff lined up. Some volunteering, some treats, some with friends, some solitary. Our first Christmas sober is always tough as we have come to believe that Christmas is all about booze, and it's difficult to know what potential for pleasure it holds without it. This year my Christmas day will be communion at my local church first thing, then off to help out at a local Christmas lunch for people who'd otherwise be alone that day, and then an AA meeting in the evening. I'm looking forward to it. It's hardly party party, or what I'd once have looked forward to, but I know that it'll give me more pleasure than drinking to oblivion would.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
There are two ways to answer the OP's question.
First the availability or lack of immediately available alcoholic beverages didn't in any way deter me from drinking. If it wasn't on hand , I'd just get some . If people around me weren't drinking that didn't deter me either and if they were it was just the more the merrier. If I was drinking than I would drink, since I have decided to take drinking off the table , no longer an option ever no matter what, it's physical presence or others' actions still have no real bearing on my decision to never drink again.
The second part of the answer is about being miserable. Even with strong resolve to stay abstinent certain situations can , and especially in early 'sobriety' , cause a lot of AV noise. The thoughts around future alcohol use and any doubt in your resolve to remain abstinent percolate to the top readily when being in settings where before we would have indulged.
"It's the holidays" "just a few ..just pay attention and don't let it get out of hand"
"Everyone else is , last time , the holidays will be over soon, I've already started, it will easy to stay on track once the holidays are over" and other similar thoughts will undoubtedly crop up. Recognizing as only thoughts /feelings and separating from them and dismissing the is totally possible and doable even with the festivities ' in your face', but that can cause less than joyous feelings. The miserableness of that is kind of what you make of it, but the potential to be uncomfortable is fairly prevalent.
Pick and choose the things you feel would be the 'easiest' or more,comfortable to attend. Or go to all , either way not drinking is key and entirely doable. Don't let the AV try the tactic that being around holiday festivities makes keeping resolve any less possible. But at the same time , there is no reason to make yourself uncomfortable if it is easily avoided.
First the availability or lack of immediately available alcoholic beverages didn't in any way deter me from drinking. If it wasn't on hand , I'd just get some . If people around me weren't drinking that didn't deter me either and if they were it was just the more the merrier. If I was drinking than I would drink, since I have decided to take drinking off the table , no longer an option ever no matter what, it's physical presence or others' actions still have no real bearing on my decision to never drink again.
The second part of the answer is about being miserable. Even with strong resolve to stay abstinent certain situations can , and especially in early 'sobriety' , cause a lot of AV noise. The thoughts around future alcohol use and any doubt in your resolve to remain abstinent percolate to the top readily when being in settings where before we would have indulged.
"It's the holidays" "just a few ..just pay attention and don't let it get out of hand"
"Everyone else is , last time , the holidays will be over soon, I've already started, it will easy to stay on track once the holidays are over" and other similar thoughts will undoubtedly crop up. Recognizing as only thoughts /feelings and separating from them and dismissing the is totally possible and doable even with the festivities ' in your face', but that can cause less than joyous feelings. The miserableness of that is kind of what you make of it, but the potential to be uncomfortable is fairly prevalent.
Pick and choose the things you feel would be the 'easiest' or more,comfortable to attend. Or go to all , either way not drinking is key and entirely doable. Don't let the AV try the tactic that being around holiday festivities makes keeping resolve any less possible. But at the same time , there is no reason to make yourself uncomfortable if it is easily avoided.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 6
I appreciate all the feedback. Still sober. Most definitely enjoyed the holidays with family and friends. Not sure if this is the place for me, though. I seem to feel better speaking with family and friends, my therapist, counselor, and psychiatrist. Hope everyone else had an awesome holiday weekend.
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