Had Hard Liquor the other night
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hey. Don't stop posting. How can we help you if you don't post?!
Now. You give a lot of reasons for your drinking...
You are grieving
Arguments with your partner
The cat is a **** bag
You have an adult daughter who is autistic which means recovery options could be challenging
Now. Can I just counter this with the fact that not of the above problems are why you drink? The reason we drink is that we (erroneously) see alcohol as The Solution because it gives us immediate, albeit short term, relief. Even though it actually makes a lot of our problems worse. (We don't process our grief properly because we bury it away to fester instead. We stop seeking resolutions with our partners when disagreements flare because it's easier to just drink. We kick the cat. We end up feeling guilt and shame that we aren't as effective as carers or as responsible as we should be.... etc etc. ). When we start to really accept that alcohol is part of the problem, and not (ever) a solution, then we're more able to ignore our AV when it offers us excuses and suppised reasons for taking a drink.
We can, with a good program of recovery and a decent stretch of sobriety, deal with all our problems more effectively than when we are active in our alcoholism. But we do need to keep doing the work and using the support networks available to us. Under stress, and when we're not taking care of ourselves, our AVs and our egos are apt to run riot. That's why talking to another addict in recovery is helpful. Because we've all experienced that vortex. That horrible not-very-Merry-Go-Round thinking that leads us back to despair and drinking.
Sometimes i need someone to remind me to check the HALT triggers and nag me into acting responsibly when im feeling any of them so that i don't let feeling Hunger-Anger-Lonely-Tired diminish the quality of my sobriety Or to encourage me to stop isolating. Or to get to a meeting. Or point out that I'm dwelling in the problem and Laa-laa-laa-ing suggestions for solutions instead of having an open mind . Or that I'm over-complicating things by trying to solve all my current and future problems right now rather than just getting through the next hour.
I need people to help me like that, so I post here and I go to AA and have a sponsor. I hope you keep posting as well. Fellowship helps us to stay sober, and that's why this forum is so amazing.
Now. You give a lot of reasons for your drinking...
You are grieving
Arguments with your partner
The cat is a **** bag
You have an adult daughter who is autistic which means recovery options could be challenging
Now. Can I just counter this with the fact that not of the above problems are why you drink? The reason we drink is that we (erroneously) see alcohol as The Solution because it gives us immediate, albeit short term, relief. Even though it actually makes a lot of our problems worse. (We don't process our grief properly because we bury it away to fester instead. We stop seeking resolutions with our partners when disagreements flare because it's easier to just drink. We kick the cat. We end up feeling guilt and shame that we aren't as effective as carers or as responsible as we should be.... etc etc. ). When we start to really accept that alcohol is part of the problem, and not (ever) a solution, then we're more able to ignore our AV when it offers us excuses and suppised reasons for taking a drink.
We can, with a good program of recovery and a decent stretch of sobriety, deal with all our problems more effectively than when we are active in our alcoholism. But we do need to keep doing the work and using the support networks available to us. Under stress, and when we're not taking care of ourselves, our AVs and our egos are apt to run riot. That's why talking to another addict in recovery is helpful. Because we've all experienced that vortex. That horrible not-very-Merry-Go-Round thinking that leads us back to despair and drinking.
Sometimes i need someone to remind me to check the HALT triggers and nag me into acting responsibly when im feeling any of them so that i don't let feeling Hunger-Anger-Lonely-Tired diminish the quality of my sobriety Or to encourage me to stop isolating. Or to get to a meeting. Or point out that I'm dwelling in the problem and Laa-laa-laa-ing suggestions for solutions instead of having an open mind . Or that I'm over-complicating things by trying to solve all my current and future problems right now rather than just getting through the next hour.
I need people to help me like that, so I post here and I go to AA and have a sponsor. I hope you keep posting as well. Fellowship helps us to stay sober, and that's why this forum is so amazing.
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