Water441

Acceptance! Daily work on acceptance that if i could control this, I would have by now.

Have not made it to 4 weeks since I started identifying as someone with alcohol use disorder. Because each time I convinced myself that I could go back to controlled consumption. Never worked. 2016 was the binge cycle year from hell for me. I will try hard each day to remember it won't be different this time unless I choose each day to not consume any alcohol. **** this is going to be hard. But it is my only choice.

2ndhandrose

Acceptance is key!

Way to go on 4 weeks

Coldfusion

Four weeks is AWESOME Water441!

least

Congrats on the first of many sober months! Keep going, it gets better.

Delilah1

Hi Water,

Congrats on four weeks, it will be so nice for you to start 2017 with over a month of sobriety!

Last year at this time, I was stuck in the cycle of daily drinking, and way too many day ones after my failed attempts at moderation. I will have one year on January 1st, and SR has been my greatest support.

You've got this!!

Bobbieka

Congratulations on 4 weeks. Keep adding up those days!

ChloeRose63

Congrats!

tomls

Congrats on 30! Maybe my biggest milestone!

Algorithm

You could choose not to drink each day, or you could decide to remove the option, and never choose again. It need not be a daily decision per se.

It will only be as difficult as you decide to make it. It can be easy as well, depending on how you view things, and it need not be a struggle.

Soberwolf

Congrats Water

Water441

Constantly convincing myself that "this time won't be any different and will eventually end in a binge you're too afraid to withdraw from" seems like a very difficult thing to really "learn/believe" even though I "know" it.

What have you had help you make it "not a struggle"?

Doug39

I hear that. Of my 27 year drinking career, 2016 was by far the worst.

Congrats.

ScottFromWI

You need to instead start constantly convincing yourself that you CAN stay sober then, right? Because you can. How do you to that? By proactively reminding yourself each and every day. Some people go about that by attending an AA meeting every day. Others come here and participate in a monthly thread. Some see a therapist. Others meditate seek a mindful state to recognize their addiction. There's lots of other ways too, but as long as you take action every day it will get easier and easier over time.

Dee74

Congrats on 4 weeks Water

BringingBackB

Awesome stuff Water, good job

Algorithm

I know it's difficult, which is precisely why I said that it does not have to be a 'daily decision' per se. You can decide once, while all of this is still fresh in your mind (and you will eventually forget), that you will never decide again.

You are at a crossroads. You have had a major drinking-related incident on account of work problems, but you have not suffered catastrophic losses, and have essentially gotten off easy on probation.

You can either squander this near-miss, and keep trying to convince yourself that you "can't" drink, because it "might" cause problems, or you can snap out of it, see the writing on the wall, and decide never to put yourself in any such situation ever again.

In other words, you can decide that you won't drink, that it is simply not for you (ie, wrong), instead of thinking that you "can't" drink, because your problem is not that you definitely can't get away with drinking, your problem is that you can't predict what will happen if you do drink, and that is even more dangerous.

It's a bit like putting a blindfold on before getting in a car and driving on the highway. Think long and hard about where you are headed, and decide if you want to go there because of a cheap buzz from a liquid. Read around the forum for some serious rock bottoms, and don't assume for one second that it couldn't happen to you.

At your age, if you had gotten fired, instead of given the opportunity to get a grip, you may very well have drunk yourself into some serious, irreversible trouble. If you don't think this is possible, consider that many people who are otherwise "high functioning" drinkers often quickly succumb to the addiction after losing their jobs.

I use AVRT, and while I recommend learning the technique to learn how to live comfortably with residual desire, that is really entirely up to you. The key was to get over the "I can't drink" mindset, and to get to I won't drink. It has to become a self-denial, and not a punishment.

Some like to say that drinking is not a moral issue, but it absolutely is a moral issue. It's not right, in the ethical sense, to cheat yourself, your family, and your employer by drinking yourself into destruction, for example. Neither is it right, in the ethical sense, to squander the opportunity that you've been given to help yourself.

You don't need to answer me, but at least consider the question in your own mind. Given your experiences thus far with alcohol, and what you have learned about addiction, do you believe that it is right or wrong, in the moral, ethical sense, for you to ever drink again?

It may help you immensely with any remaining ambivalence regarding drinking if you can figure this out.

PurpleKnight

4 Weeks is fantastic Water!! Keep it going!!

PhoenixJ

Water441

I've googled ATVR but I can't figure out what it is ?

Algorithm

Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) is the method of Rational Recovery. It is a simple thinking skill which describes how people naturally quit addictions by separating from the mentality which sustains addiction.

It is based on the experiences of people who recovered without treatment. You can find more information in the Secular Connections forum, or at the Rational Recovery web site, which has a free crash course.

I would liken AVRT to intellectual Antabuse.