I'm back, needing support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 40
I'm back, needing support Hello, I'm Rainy and I joined awhile back but haven't spent much time here. I've relapsed on alcohol and I realize my triggers are stress and environment. Is there a place I can post my daily recovery thread...thoughts, venting, etc.?
I started my recovery date over. I am an alcoholic and I have been sober 5 days. I need to learn how to stay sober. I want to stay sober for ME plus my family. I absolutely want to stay sober for myself. Just to be clear.
I'm a sole caretaker to my stepdad, who is terminally ill with pancreatic cancer. Someone left alcohol in the house and, well, I drank. I do not want to relapse again and return to my active alcoholism despite cravings. You all know what I mean.
AA isn't my thing although I bought the big book and other materials...tried some meetings. It's just not for me. I'm hoping regularly active here will help me stay sober. I have a doctor, a therapist and a supportive, nondrinking partner.
I NEED to learn how to handle stress to stay sober. It affects my sobriety and my mental illness (bipolar disorder 1, Panic Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, C-PTSD, Social Anxiety, and OCD. )
Thanks for reading and replies are appreciated.
I started my recovery date over. I am an alcoholic and I have been sober 5 days. I need to learn how to stay sober. I want to stay sober for ME plus my family. I absolutely want to stay sober for myself. Just to be clear.
I'm a sole caretaker to my stepdad, who is terminally ill with pancreatic cancer. Someone left alcohol in the house and, well, I drank. I do not want to relapse again and return to my active alcoholism despite cravings. You all know what I mean.
AA isn't my thing although I bought the big book and other materials...tried some meetings. It's just not for me. I'm hoping regularly active here will help me stay sober. I have a doctor, a therapist and a supportive, nondrinking partner.
I NEED to learn how to handle stress to stay sober. It affects my sobriety and my mental illness (bipolar disorder 1, Panic Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, C-PTSD, Social Anxiety, and OCD. )
Thanks for reading and replies are appreciated.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Welcome back Rainy 
You can keep this thread as your journal if you like.
I think support, and consistently using it, is important.
Life can often be stressful - I think it must very much more so when you're the the caretaker of a terminally ill family member.
Don't neglect your own need for help and support - including for your other mental health issues - or the need to make changes in your life that reflect your desire to be sober.
There are some very good ideas on making a recovery plan - a plan to stay sober no matter what - here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
You can keep this thread as your journal if you like.
I think support, and consistently using it, is important.
Life can often be stressful - I think it must very much more so when you're the the caretaker of a terminally ill family member.
Don't neglect your own need for help and support - including for your other mental health issues - or the need to make changes in your life that reflect your desire to be sober.
There are some very good ideas on making a recovery plan - a plan to stay sober no matter what - here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
AA wasn't for me either. For almost 10 years of gradually and then rapidly declining addiction.
It wasn't for me. Until it was.
I'm not an AA zealot, but I'm almost three years sober and wouldn't be had I not leaned on and benefitted from AA.
Triggers.
This morning I woke up feeling really depressed. The weight of holiday blues and missing my children and work I'm behind on and the seemingly never ending cycle of so many mundane things and stress all crushing down on me. These were some of my 'triggers'.
But nowadays I realize that was bullocks. My 'trigger' was wanting to drink. My 'trigger' was choosing escapism over being with my feelings and just dealing with life in healthy ways. My 'trigger' was addiction.
For me, life is good. I love it and am grateful for it. And sometimes I'm depressed, sad, angry, hopeless, frustrated, stressed. And sometimes I'm elated and joyful and relaxed and confident.
But regardless what my mood may be or what my circumstances may be throwing my way; I don't drink about it.
And that has made my life infinitely better.
And AA really helped get me there.
It wasn't for me. Until it was.
I'm not an AA zealot, but I'm almost three years sober and wouldn't be had I not leaned on and benefitted from AA.
Triggers.
This morning I woke up feeling really depressed. The weight of holiday blues and missing my children and work I'm behind on and the seemingly never ending cycle of so many mundane things and stress all crushing down on me. These were some of my 'triggers'.
But nowadays I realize that was bullocks. My 'trigger' was wanting to drink. My 'trigger' was choosing escapism over being with my feelings and just dealing with life in healthy ways. My 'trigger' was addiction.
For me, life is good. I love it and am grateful for it. And sometimes I'm depressed, sad, angry, hopeless, frustrated, stressed. And sometimes I'm elated and joyful and relaxed and confident.
But regardless what my mood may be or what my circumstances may be throwing my way; I don't drink about it.
And that has made my life infinitely better.
And AA really helped get me there.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Rainy,
As your sober days add up and you fight the crave and win, you will eventually feel peaceful moments more and more.
It took me abiut a year to really get a feel for what sobriety can feel like.
The brain gets heavily damaged by booze. All the meds for ocd etc. Make it all worse.
I had a ton of mental issues while drinking. I quit and took no meds. It was very uncomfortable for a long while. It has a lot to do w dopamine.
Stay clean and get through the rough times. Come out the other side and never look back.
Never drink again.
As your sober days add up and you fight the crave and win, you will eventually feel peaceful moments more and more.
It took me abiut a year to really get a feel for what sobriety can feel like.
The brain gets heavily damaged by booze. All the meds for ocd etc. Make it all worse.
I had a ton of mental issues while drinking. I quit and took no meds. It was very uncomfortable for a long while. It has a lot to do w dopamine.
Stay clean and get through the rough times. Come out the other side and never look back.
Never drink again.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Hi Rainy,
Glad you are here and posting. Daily reading, and posting on this site has been the biggest part of my recovery. Two threads that I have found really helpful are the monthly class thread, and the 24 hour recovery thread. If you pop into the December thread you will find a network of others who have also committed or recommitted to sobriety this month. The 24 hour thread is a great place for daily accountability, and another great place to find a supportive community.
You can do this!
Glad you are here and posting. Daily reading, and posting on this site has been the biggest part of my recovery. Two threads that I have found really helpful are the monthly class thread, and the 24 hour recovery thread. If you pop into the December thread you will find a network of others who have also committed or recommitted to sobriety this month. The 24 hour thread is a great place for daily accountability, and another great place to find a supportive community.
You can do this!
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Welcome back Rainy,
Feel free to join in the Class of December 2016 thread. Its a whole bunch of us who have given up drinking/using this month, and are supporting each other through it
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-6.html
Feel free to join in the Class of December 2016 thread. Its a whole bunch of us who have given up drinking/using this month, and are supporting each other through it
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-6.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 40
Day 6. It feels odd typing these numbers of days, but it seems common so I guess I'll go with it?
Yesterday was stressful and drinking has been an escapism tool for me in the past. I need to learn a lot to stay sober. I'm glad I'm here.
I had a stressful situation yesterday, I can't even recall what it was now - and an image literally popped in my mind of going to a bar to have "a couple of drinks."
It was strange! It wasn't even a craving, I don't think. I just told myself, "nope," - and redirected my thinking and faced the stressful event headon. I told my S.O. about it when I saw him and he is a nondrinker and a supportive listener. Drinking has been the only area of our relationship where I have not been honest with him. I'm regaining his trust and it is good to have IRL support, too.
The rest of the day was flat out stressful and I ended up in tears over some frustration - but I go through sober.
Thanks for welcoming me, everyone....I appreciate it. I appreciate your insight, tips, and experiences.
I am learning that (re-learning) that self-medicating my bipolar disorder via alcohol is bad. It's common but that doesn't mean I have to drink.
I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and he asked if I'd drank and it was great to say NO! =]
BringBackB: I will join the Class December of 1016, thanks for the link.
Delilah1: Thanks for telling me about the December and 24-hour threads, as well as sharing this site has been so helpful in your recovery. I'll definitely check them out, as well as browse through the forums. This place is a great resource and supportive....I'm grateful
D122y: "Never Drink Again." I like it. And I'll remind my dopamine receptors, as they certainly are into repair mode. =P
FreeOwl: Thanks for sharing your experience with AA. I haven't ruled it out as an option. Also, I know people that have taken what works for them from the program and not dwelled on the rest. One day at a time and today I will not drink.
SoberWolf and PJ.....thanks for the warm welcome on my return. It means a lot to me. =]
Dee74: Thanks for the welcome back, your insight, and the recovery link. I will keep my progress thread here as I've already got it going, thanks for letting me know that's OK. =]
Yesterday was stressful and drinking has been an escapism tool for me in the past. I need to learn a lot to stay sober. I'm glad I'm here.
I had a stressful situation yesterday, I can't even recall what it was now - and an image literally popped in my mind of going to a bar to have "a couple of drinks."
It was strange! It wasn't even a craving, I don't think. I just told myself, "nope," - and redirected my thinking and faced the stressful event headon. I told my S.O. about it when I saw him and he is a nondrinker and a supportive listener. Drinking has been the only area of our relationship where I have not been honest with him. I'm regaining his trust and it is good to have IRL support, too.
The rest of the day was flat out stressful and I ended up in tears over some frustration - but I go through sober.
Thanks for welcoming me, everyone....I appreciate it. I appreciate your insight, tips, and experiences.
I am learning that (re-learning) that self-medicating my bipolar disorder via alcohol is bad. It's common but that doesn't mean I have to drink.
I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and he asked if I'd drank and it was great to say NO! =]
BringBackB: I will join the Class December of 1016, thanks for the link.
Delilah1: Thanks for telling me about the December and 24-hour threads, as well as sharing this site has been so helpful in your recovery. I'll definitely check them out, as well as browse through the forums. This place is a great resource and supportive....I'm grateful
D122y: "Never Drink Again." I like it. And I'll remind my dopamine receptors, as they certainly are into repair mode. =P
FreeOwl: Thanks for sharing your experience with AA. I haven't ruled it out as an option. Also, I know people that have taken what works for them from the program and not dwelled on the rest. One day at a time and today I will not drink.
SoberWolf and PJ.....thanks for the warm welcome on my return. It means a lot to me. =]
Dee74: Thanks for the welcome back, your insight, and the recovery link. I will keep my progress thread here as I've already got it going, thanks for letting me know that's OK. =]
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