Therorschach81

I've been sober for over 2 years now. Not one slip up, I don't even really want to drink now. However I feel completely dead inside. When I was drinking, I felt joy, rage, love, hell everything. Now, I don't feel much of anything. I just go through life completely dead inside. I was wondering if this is normal or if it's just me. Thanks.

Coldfusion

Welcome, Rorschach!

Congratulations on two years of sobriety!

I feel that I have made spiritual progress since I quit drinking, but I kind of work at it. Have you tried anything like AA meetings, therapy, or church?

BringingBackB

Welcome to SR. Unfortunately I don't have any specific advice for you, but I am sure someone else will

Awesome username btw!

Dee74

Hi & welcome Therorschach81

I definitely had to work on being happy as well as being sober.
I had a lot of 'underlying reasons' that drove me to drink in the first place.

I had long term depression and anxiety, but I got help.
I wonder if you've seen a Dr about this?

the end result for me was that I really feel now - not the fake chemical joy/euphoria of being drunk for example but real joy....I hope you can discover this for yourself

D

Aellyce

Congrats, 2 years is great

Is it truly "dead" (something like depressed?) or more that the lack of highs and lows, emotional extremes, feel a bit flat for you? I was definitely far, far more extreme as a drinker and experienced emotional amplitudes all over the map. I never experienced roller coaster even vaguely similar to that sober. What I feel in sustained sobriety is a much more even mood and inner peace with fluctuations that I can manage fairly well. I am just bringing this up because there are often discussions about people feeling bored in sobriety and it seems often it's just not knowing what mental peace is, or not knowing how being able to regulate how we respond to moods and emotions feels. But of course that is a very different state from genuinely feeling dead...

DesertDawg

I was thinking the same thing, Rorshach. Maybe you were never able to 'recalibrate' your mind to get used to a more stable and even mental state, without the radical shifts from euphoria, to depression, and back to euphoria, that comes with alcohol or drug use.

Just something to think about.
Hope you feel better -- two years is fantastic!

D122y

Ther,

2 years is amazing.

I have bee sober for almost 20 months.

My offering...

I feel good sometimes...I feel great sometimes. Never dead anymore...

I felt dead sometimes in the first year or so.

I work out 4 to 6 days a week and I eat too much sugar sometimes.

I would rather feel dead inside than be a drunk though.

I learned here that when you are in need to give. The more you give, the better you feel.

Even a kind word makes both persons feel better.

Thanks.

Venecia

Hi, Rorschach,

First, congratulations on two years of sobriety. That is no small accomplishment. You have much for which to be proud.

I'm sober 3.5 years. With time, I've come to see how much alcohol artificially created emotions for me. Drenching myself in a depressant ...

No one should feel dead, but I know what it's like, too. From my perspective, it's your soul telling you it's time to get help. I began getting help for depression earlier this year. It's made a big difference in my life.

NewRomanMan

I had a bit of that myself. Although mine was more of a basic anhedonia, but I've definitely had stretches where I feel dead inside as well, but they usually don't last very long. And to be honest with you, I prefer that feeling when it happens as opposed to the horrible out of whack all over roller coaster that early sobriety hit me with.
The human brain needs time to heal after we've saturated it with dopamine from all the booze we've ingested over the years. And let's face it, alcohol has a way of amplifying any emotion, good or bad to the Nth degree. Give yourself a bit more time. You're not abnormal, just going thru recovery growing pains.

SnazzyDresser

Like a sober zombie maybe, The Walking Sober. As adults, we are always personally responsible for taking care of ourselves and improving over time, and that goes way beyond not using/abusing alcohol. So yeah, I'd say get proactive and start doing something to remedy that situation.

Outonthetiles

No, in fact, just the opposite. I was certifiably emotionally dead when I was drinking. I just stopped caring, destroyed a serious, actual adult-type long term relationship because I felt so bad about myself, and lost my confidence and self esteem. I was completely hollowed out... a shell. As I got sober, I began to care about myself and others again, and I rediscovered the ability to love.

FenwayFaithful

I felt that way when I was on anti-depressants. I slowly got off them UNDER A DOCTORS CARE. I put this is caps BC I tried to do it myself before and always ended up in a relapse or psych ward, very dangerous to do alone. I've got more of my feelings back but do feel emotionally numb a lot.

Alcohol heightened my emotions, while other drugs numbed them. I think I got so used to the highs/lows brought on by drugs that I kinda forget what "normal" emotions are like. My therapist says I am quite disconnected after so many years of using drugs/other behaviors in an attempt not to feel. She says like anything you can learn to connect with your feelings again.

MelindaFlowers

I was truly emotionally dead when I was drinking and hungover everyday.

Anna

Congratulations on your recovery. I wonder if you've talked to your dr about the possibility of depression? It might be a good idea. Maybe you could also consider some therapy.

Soberwolf

Welcome to SR

Therorschach81

emotionally dead is the best way I can describe it. I don't feel sad or depressed, I was both of those things when I was drinking. It was the greatest feeling ever when I first gave up the bottle, then it regulated out to a sense of normality. Slowly, it turned into nothingness. There's no more fear, anger, love or anything. I float through life. I don't think stacking mind altering drugs on the situation is the answer as some others have suggested. I have no intention of drinking again, however I do miss feeling something, hell anything at this point. I was really hoping this was normal lol.

Therorschach81

no, I haven't. I've actually lost whatever shred of faith I had. I don't see the point anymore.

Therorschach81

no, I haven't. I've lost whatever shred of faith I had. I don't see the point anymore.

Therorschach81

thanks, got to dig "The Watchman"

Therorschach81

I know that feeling, all to well.