Work
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 4
Work
I admitted I am an alcoholic. My best friend is my worst enemy. I am alone. I've been alone for a long time. My first drink was at 14 and my I felt loved.
That kind of love has a price I don't want to pay anymore.
Today is my 1st meeting, second go around with AA, I wasn't in a place 3 years ago. I had so much grief, anger, shame, disappointment..ect. me..me me..
I convinced myself I had a lot of excuses to drink. Blame life ect..
I am paying a therapist to listen to me Bla bla bla..
I think it is helping a bit. I am learning tools..
I am going to a women's meeting today 1st meeting.
Work
That kind of love has a price I don't want to pay anymore.
Today is my 1st meeting, second go around with AA, I wasn't in a place 3 years ago. I had so much grief, anger, shame, disappointment..ect. me..me me..
I convinced myself I had a lot of excuses to drink. Blame life ect..
I am paying a therapist to listen to me Bla bla bla..
I think it is helping a bit. I am learning tools..
I am going to a women's meeting today 1st meeting.
Work
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,323
Admitting your are alcoholic is a step towards recovery.
I know myself if i take ONE drink, it leads to chaos, confusion, and personal harm. It leads to sick days taken, terrified family, and trips to rehab and all sorts of shame, guilt, anger, sadness, etc.
My drinking past proves all the things i listed to be true. I know myself that when i drink, it drink alcoholically. No control.
I don't drink anymore, but i don't maintain it by myself. I have a group of AA friends and support that understand the daily reprieve.
I will not drink TODAY, no matter what happens.
Welcome to SR.
I know myself if i take ONE drink, it leads to chaos, confusion, and personal harm. It leads to sick days taken, terrified family, and trips to rehab and all sorts of shame, guilt, anger, sadness, etc.
My drinking past proves all the things i listed to be true. I know myself that when i drink, it drink alcoholically. No control.
I don't drink anymore, but i don't maintain it by myself. I have a group of AA friends and support that understand the daily reprieve.
I will not drink TODAY, no matter what happens.
Welcome to SR.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 4
Day 2 I reckon I'm an alcoholic
I hate the feelings I am trying to learn to live with. I tell myself I'm trying.
The excuses that I think up. I think I am so smart. My life has revolved around alone time to drink. Pre drinking early so I'm a bit hungover and don't drink so much at family gatherings and parties. That doesn't work, I like to drink until I cannot think or remember. I want to hide, sleep and drink for days.....This is what I dreamed of, now I have to find a new dream.
I am a binge drinker 3-4 times week. I did not see myself as an alcoholic.
I have a home, a job, married.
I am an alcoholic. I think saying this helps me realize I do not Need a drink, I Want a drink. I'm a train wreck.
My husband would rather think I am crazy than a drunk.
This is my choice, and I need to do this for myself and stop blaming.
The pity parties are wearing me out. Keep smiling.
The excuses that I think up. I think I am so smart. My life has revolved around alone time to drink. Pre drinking early so I'm a bit hungover and don't drink so much at family gatherings and parties. That doesn't work, I like to drink until I cannot think or remember. I want to hide, sleep and drink for days.....This is what I dreamed of, now I have to find a new dream.
I am a binge drinker 3-4 times week. I did not see myself as an alcoholic.
I have a home, a job, married.
I am an alcoholic. I think saying this helps me realize I do not Need a drink, I Want a drink. I'm a train wreck.
My husband would rather think I am crazy than a drunk.
This is my choice, and I need to do this for myself and stop blaming.
The pity parties are wearing me out. Keep smiling.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Welcome to SR!!
Sounds like you are off to a good start! Two good threads are the 24 hour thread, and the monthly classes. If you haven't joined the December class yet you should.
Looking forward for seeing you on SR!
Sounds like you are off to a good start! Two good threads are the 24 hour thread, and the monthly classes. If you haven't joined the December class yet you should.
Looking forward for seeing you on SR!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
