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27 days lifestyle vs life sentence

Old 12-22-2016, 09:23 AM
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27 days lifestyle vs life sentence

In group today I spoke about my frustration that it seems like "in recovery" the predominant belief is this becomes a defining characteristic that can never just become a matter of fact that has to stay in the forefront of your mind. I want to remain abstinent for life but I don't want "recovery" to be my life.
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Old 12-22-2016, 09:29 AM
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if you don't want recovery to be your life, then don't.

i was in recovery from alcoholism.
now im a recovered alcoholic- i have recovered from the hopeless state of mind and body.

personally i wouldn't mind recovery being my life. much better than an existence of a drunken SOB.
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Old 12-22-2016, 09:36 AM
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Just take it one day at a time right now.

I don't think everyone has to go to meetings for the rest of their lives. Some do choose to make it their social life, and that's great - it's a good way to find sober friends.

For right now, use what you find value in. More will be revealed.

I started drinking after 18 years sobriety. I quit the first time as a result of toxic relationships that I finally got sorted out and therefore had no further need to drink.

One day I picked up a drink, for no reason. If I had spent more time being grateful for my sobriety instead of giving it zero thought whatsoever, I probably would have saved myself the next six years of progressively worse drinking. I don't ever want to forget or take sobriety for granted again.
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Old 12-22-2016, 09:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Water441 View Post
...it seems like "in recovery" the predominant belief is this becomes a defining characteristic that can never just become a matter of fact that has to stay in the forefront of your mind.
Stay sober and the "recovery" you require to maintain it will become incorporated into your daily life.

I haven't drank in over six years. Neither drinking, or not drinking is in the forefront of my mind. But I am cognizant of my sobriety and what it takes to stay sober.

Recovery isn't a life sentence. Sobriety isn't a punishment.
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Old 12-22-2016, 09:57 AM
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have patience, have faith, relax into it.

"Right Now" is not "Forever".

The very definition of the word "Recovery" changes for all of us over time.

Some forge a life that is very recovery-centric throughout and for the long-haul.

Some feel a powerful need to remain ever-anchored in a deep and robust daily recovery practice.

Some find that after a time, recovery becomes not so much a daily chore - but simply their preferred way of living.

That's where I feel I've found myself for the most part. I don't forget it. I don't let myself drift too far from it. I spend a little time at least weekly being sure to re-charge my sobriety batteries....... But I have a LOT of just plain LIVING AN ABUNDANT LIFE going on. And I've found that for me - that's an effective form of recovery. Rather than putting recovery first and have to toil at it as the core locus of my day-to-day..... I've found that sobriety as a context for an otherwise well-spent, busy, service-oriented, active, rich and rewarding life is working for me.

There are as many stages, forms, practices and types of 'sober living' as there are people. So.... don't get too hung up on it having to be any particular way. Trust in yourself and in your sobriety journey and in whatever may count as a power greater than yourself that you will work out a sober life path that is rewarding and good for YOU.

For now.... just keep doing the work you need to do in order to free yourself from the addictive stages and the dragnet responses and the habitual cycletraps that may draw you back into an addictive life.

It'll be OK.


Actually.... it'll be amazing.

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Old 12-22-2016, 10:01 AM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
if you don't want recovery to be your life, then don't.

i was in recovery from alcoholism.
now im a recovered alcoholic- i have recovered from the hopeless state of mind and body.

personally i wouldn't mind recovery being my life. much better than an existence of a drunken SOB.
Agreed.
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Old 12-22-2016, 10:11 AM
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Today I am 59 days sober. Sure, I think about my alcoholism at least once an hour. Alcohol use was my life for 27 years. So I am in "recovery".

I am sure years from now (if I stay sober - and I plan to) alcohol will not be something I think about.

I used to smoke 2 pack a day. I haven't smoked a cigarette since 1992. When I first quit it was all I thought about doing. Now I can go months and years without even giving it a thought.
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Old 12-22-2016, 10:37 AM
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I just don't drink for today

No one can predict with 100% certainty what tomorrow will bring.

Look at all the possibilities you have without the ball and chain drinking prevents you from.

Anyone on this forum has alcohol problems either of their own or a family member. Not drinking each day is one less problem in my life.
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Old 12-22-2016, 10:55 AM
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I share your frustration, I keep have hourly pity parties. I feel like I am starting over in life. I have gotten glimpses of reality and am letting go of the denial. I am responsible for this and so much more. It stabs to admit and a drink would let me forget.
I look forward to a day it is not "work" "working on it"
I'm going to try this time to ask for support and listen to others suggestions.
This is a new concept for me.
ME again............. G-Jesus first, O-Others second, Y-Myself last
my new mantra.
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Old 12-22-2016, 01:50 PM
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Drinking nearly killed me. I was miserable and wanted to die. Recovery has saved my life and renewed my spirit. Sobriety has become a matter of fact and I couldn't be happier. I HOPE all of this stays in the forefront of my mind
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Old 12-22-2016, 01:55 PM
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You can be a non-drinker as part of a fulfilling lifestyle.
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Old 12-22-2016, 02:18 PM
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Everyone finds their level, Water.

Noone can live happily if something is chafing them,

My recovery is a constant, it's a fixture, but it's not debilitating and it doesn't chafe me in the slightest

I clean my teeth every day...I work on my recovery as well....

Try not to worry - really honestly, things work out

D
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Old 12-22-2016, 04:55 PM
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Congratulations on27 days!

For me it is much better to be in perpetual recovery than to be a perpetual drunk. Ultimately only you will know when you can call yourself "recovered" but I have heard of stories of relapse up to at least 6 years after getting sober.
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Old 12-22-2016, 05:20 PM
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I understand what you mean Water. In the early days the thought of always fighting my addiction seemed overwhelming. It's easy to "future - trip" in early recovery. The perspective changes over time, for me initially it was that "I can't" drink which became "I won't drink" and ultimately "I don't drink." The thing we can't lose sight of is, our addiction does not go away. One drink today will do exactly what it would have done the first day I got our of rehab. I like my life sober today, which is something I simply couldn't fathom initially.

Be patient and be gentle on yourself. Some days the best you can do is hang on and not drink. Those times will get less sever and less frequent, it's all part of the healing process.

By the way, today is my sobriety date: 12/22/2009.
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