You have to want to be sober more than you want a drink...
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You have to want to be sober more than you want a drink...
I see this phrase here quite often. Don't we ALL want to be sober, isn't that why we are all here? Of course we start with day 1. All that we have in us is behind us, propelling us. We make it to day whatever and the strength from day one dissipates. I see many here relapsing. It truly makes me realize that addiction lies in the brain and its neurotransmitters.
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It's not really meant to put anyone down, IMO.
simple yes - but not necessarily easy - noones trying to suggest that.
I think its trying to illustrate the fight within us between the addicted self and the self that strives to be free.
Like I always say, if there are two wolves within us, we need to feed the wolf we want to win
D
simple yes - but not necessarily easy - noones trying to suggest that.
I think its trying to illustrate the fight within us between the addicted self and the self that strives to be free.
Like I always say, if there are two wolves within us, we need to feed the wolf we want to win
D
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Originally Posted by Dee74 
It's not really meant to put anyone down, IMO.
I think its trying to illustrate the fight within us between the addicted self and the self that strives to be free.
D
I think its trying to illustrate the fight within us between the addicted self and the self that strives to be free.
D
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Great points!! I refer to Alan Carr'so take on the matter.
"This is the tug-of-war, or what I refer to as the schizophrenia, that every drinker suffers throughout their drinking lives. Part of you is saying “I need a drink” and another part is saying “But you musn’t have too much!” The problem is, you don’t satisfy your thirst by having a drink. On the contrary, you create a little monster inside your body that has an insatiable thirst, and the more alcohol you give him the thirstier he gets! It is not the flawed genes of alcoholics that, if they take just one sip, makes them want another and another, ad infinitum; that is the effect alcohol has on every living creature, including you! Why do I refer to it as the little monster when it is the cause of so much misery in the world? Because the little monster isn’t a problem, it is merely thirst, and can be satisfied by a glass of water or any other liquid that genuinely relieves thirst. It is not even the alcohol itself that is the root of the problem. The real evil is the Big Monster: the belief that we obtain some genuine benefit from drinking alcohol, the belief that we cannot enjoy social occasions or cope with stress without it, and the belief that it is impossible for some people to control it. The real evil is the monster that creates these illusions:"
"This is the tug-of-war, or what I refer to as the schizophrenia, that every drinker suffers throughout their drinking lives. Part of you is saying “I need a drink” and another part is saying “But you musn’t have too much!” The problem is, you don’t satisfy your thirst by having a drink. On the contrary, you create a little monster inside your body that has an insatiable thirst, and the more alcohol you give him the thirstier he gets! It is not the flawed genes of alcoholics that, if they take just one sip, makes them want another and another, ad infinitum; that is the effect alcohol has on every living creature, including you! Why do I refer to it as the little monster when it is the cause of so much misery in the world? Because the little monster isn’t a problem, it is merely thirst, and can be satisfied by a glass of water or any other liquid that genuinely relieves thirst. It is not even the alcohol itself that is the root of the problem. The real evil is the Big Monster: the belief that we obtain some genuine benefit from drinking alcohol, the belief that we cannot enjoy social occasions or cope with stress without it, and the belief that it is impossible for some people to control it. The real evil is the monster that creates these illusions:"
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CarolD was the first person I ever heard to use the saying.
She came to recovery relatively late in her life.
She's passed on now, but rest assured she knew how hard it was to get sober and stay that way.
She was a great old soul and a very encouraging person
D
She came to recovery relatively late in her life.
She's passed on now, but rest assured she knew how hard it was to get sober and stay that way.
She was a great old soul and a very encouraging person
D
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Originally Posted by letitgo
Great points!! I refer to Alan Carr'so take on the matter.
"This is the tug-of-war, or what I refer to as the schizophrenia, that every drinker suffers throughout their drinking lives. Part of you is saying “I need a drink” and another part is saying “But you musn’t have too much!” The problem is, you don’t satisfy your thirst by having a drink. On the contrary, you create a little monster inside your body that has an insatiable thirst, and the more alcohol you give him the thirstier he gets! It is not the flawed genes of alcoholics that, if they take just one sip, makes them want another and another, ad infinitum; that is the effect alcohol has on every living creature, including you! Why do I refer to it as the little monster when it is the cause of so much misery in the world? Because the little monster isn’t a problem, it is merely thirst, and can be satisfied by a glass of water or any other liquid that genuinely relieves thirst. It is not even the alcohol itself that is the root of the problem. The real evil is the Big Monster: the belief that we obtain some genuine benefit from drinking alcohol, the belief that we cannot enjoy social occasions or cope with stress without it, and the belief that it is impossible for some people to control it. The real evil is the monster that creates these illusions:"
"This is the tug-of-war, or what I refer to as the schizophrenia, that every drinker suffers throughout their drinking lives. Part of you is saying “I need a drink” and another part is saying “But you musn’t have too much!” The problem is, you don’t satisfy your thirst by having a drink. On the contrary, you create a little monster inside your body that has an insatiable thirst, and the more alcohol you give him the thirstier he gets! It is not the flawed genes of alcoholics that, if they take just one sip, makes them want another and another, ad infinitum; that is the effect alcohol has on every living creature, including you! Why do I refer to it as the little monster when it is the cause of so much misery in the world? Because the little monster isn’t a problem, it is merely thirst, and can be satisfied by a glass of water or any other liquid that genuinely relieves thirst. It is not even the alcohol itself that is the root of the problem. The real evil is the Big Monster: the belief that we obtain some genuine benefit from drinking alcohol, the belief that we cannot enjoy social occasions or cope with stress without it, and the belief that it is impossible for some people to control it. The real evil is the monster that creates these illusions:"
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Originally Posted by Behappy1
I came along later in Carol D's journey, but have read all of her posts and tried to gain all of the wisdom from her that I could.
Didn't mean to be disrespectful at all.
Didn't mean to be disrespectful at all.
I came here long ago for my xah. The trauma I endured came back to bite me in my own life, so now I'm here for myself.
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RE: "You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink..."
Dee may be correct in his perception that it is a reference to the divided addicted self in conflict, but I consider this statement pure Addictive Voice, because it leaves the door wide open to more drinking, and perhaps actually encourages it.
If you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink in order to abstain, then your abstinence is completely dependent on how much desire to drink you have. It amounts to little more than saying "you can drink, as long as you want to drink more than you want to be sober."
I know someone on here actually used that very excuse recently, perhaps a couple of days ago. They said that their problem was that they wanted to drink more than they wanted to be sober this month, and that's why they drank after not drinking for a while.
This did not surprise me, considering how often this bit of advice is thrown around on the forums. Isn't that why people always drink? Because they want to drink more than they want to be sober?
Dee may be correct in his perception that it is a reference to the divided addicted self in conflict, but I consider this statement pure Addictive Voice, because it leaves the door wide open to more drinking, and perhaps actually encourages it.
If you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink in order to abstain, then your abstinence is completely dependent on how much desire to drink you have. It amounts to little more than saying "you can drink, as long as you want to drink more than you want to be sober."
I know someone on here actually used that very excuse recently, perhaps a couple of days ago. They said that their problem was that they wanted to drink more than they wanted to be sober this month, and that's why they drank after not drinking for a while.
This did not surprise me, considering how often this bit of advice is thrown around on the forums. Isn't that why people always drink? Because they want to drink more than they want to be sober?
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It's a simple phase, yet sums up recovering from alcohol perfectly.
We are at a battle with ourselves, that know our drinking is out of control, we need to stop, and our AV that will lie, deceive, and do everything it possibly can to manipulate us to keep feeding it.
Once you put the power of yourself over the AV, is when sobriety happens.
We are at a battle with ourselves, that know our drinking is out of control, we need to stop, and our AV that will lie, deceive, and do everything it possibly can to manipulate us to keep feeding it.
Once you put the power of yourself over the AV, is when sobriety happens.
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Originally Posted by Forward12
It's a simple phase, yet sums up recovering from alcohol perfectly.
We are at a battle with ourselves, that know our drinking is out of control, we need to stop, and our AV that will lie, deceive, and do everything it possibly can to manipulate us to keep feeding it.
Once you put the power of yourself over the AV, is when sobriety happens.
We are at a battle with ourselves, that know our drinking is out of control, we need to stop, and our AV that will lie, deceive, and do everything it possibly can to manipulate us to keep feeding it.
Once you put the power of yourself over the AV, is when sobriety happens.
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I find that phrase a little discouraging as well. I know it is meant with good intention however, and I am not saying it is not true, but it makes me feel like if I am not there yet then why even try because I am just going to fail. Which, ironically I have. As I read here often as well, I take what helps and leave the rest
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Originally Posted by emme99
I find that phrase a little discouraging as well. I know it is meant with good intention however, and I am not saying it is not true, but it makes me feel like if I am not there yet then why even try because I am just going to fail. Which, ironically I have. As I read here often as well, I take what helps and leave the rest
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I'm sorry you guys find it discouraging.
It was true for me.
I was kinda working at not drinking.... but still working at least as hard at drinking, really hoping to drink without bad consequences.
Once I irrevocably 'picked my side', and threw myself into action to support that decision, things got better for me
D
It was true for me.
I was kinda working at not drinking.... but still working at least as hard at drinking, really hoping to drink without bad consequences.
Once I irrevocably 'picked my side', and threw myself into action to support that decision, things got better for me
D
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I probably would drink if I were a 2 wines in the sun sort of girl, but I'm not. Two wines is never going to cut if for me, I drink for the effect. Write off.
I do want abstinence from alcohol, more than I want the destruction of alcohol. It nearly destroyed me and I never want to return to that place.
Good thing is, I don't feel lacking. Trying to get sober in the manner you would choose is difficult, but much more interesting than drinking.
I do want abstinence from alcohol, more than I want the destruction of alcohol. It nearly destroyed me and I never want to return to that place.
Good thing is, I don't feel lacking. Trying to get sober in the manner you would choose is difficult, but much more interesting than drinking.
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I enjoyed the temporary escape from reality that alcohol provided. But a consequence of that temporary escape involved later mental pain, blackouts, change in personality, potential legal and career problems, weight gain, etc. etc. I almost have 60 days now because the fear of those consequences outweigh the benefit of the temporary escape.
Overall, though, it is not just the fear that is keeping me sober but I also am enjoying my new freedom as well. It is learning how to live life without that escape. Learning to tolerate the distress. And once the distress passes, I can go back to enjoying life sober.
Overall, though, it is not just the fear that is keeping me sober but I also am enjoying my new freedom as well. It is learning how to live life without that escape. Learning to tolerate the distress. And once the distress passes, I can go back to enjoying life sober.
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Freedom CA - I too am currently not drinking out of fear. I am literally too scared to take a sip because I know where it ends. I am not sure it is a long term sustainable plan but it is working right now while I build up knowledge, skills and coping strategies.
I get the not wanting to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I promised myself every morning driving to work that I would stop that day and then got drunk every night. I wanted to be sober. Desperately. Truth is I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober and so I did. Knowing how desperately I wanted to be sober and the fact that I still drank anyway is part of where the fear comes from. I was pretty messed up to be wanting wine more than my pleas with myself every morning about being sober.
I get the not wanting to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I promised myself every morning driving to work that I would stop that day and then got drunk every night. I wanted to be sober. Desperately. Truth is I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober and so I did. Knowing how desperately I wanted to be sober and the fact that I still drank anyway is part of where the fear comes from. I was pretty messed up to be wanting wine more than my pleas with myself every morning about being sober.
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There's a cliche in sportstalk culture where the team that won is said to have wanted it more. They have that intangible WIM "want it more" quality. Which is a little silly because both teams want to win, but there's also a kernel of truth there about human nature perhaps. Anyway it's complicated, just like staying sober can be. Sometimes certain ideas resound with our particular personality and we think they're profound and life-changing, while the same ideas may leave others completely cold.
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