Della1968

I knew about three weeks ago this was going to happen. I was waiting for the right opportunity. I had to experience this. That feeling wasn't going to go away. I'm the type of person who only learns the hard way. i didn't relapse. I didn't throw it away tonight. If anything, I've moved about a hundred steps forward. Because I now know what I truly want. Peace. And sobriety is peace.

<3

ReadyAtLast

How are you now sc? Hope you got home OK and left the wine.

Juno11

We have wine all the time in our kitchens at work. People have alcohol in their offices. I don't even notice it anymore - if I tell myself it's off limits, it just becomes something in the background that's always there, like a piece of furniture. Nothing to notice, really. Besides, if I really wanted wine all I have to do is walk to the nearest wine shop (about .25 miles from my house) and pick up a bottle. It's ubiquitous and it's everywhere - but it doesn't agree with me so I don't put it in my body.

secretchord

2 more hours and I'm out of here.

Jasper13

Dammit. You just reminded me I didn't water my plants at work and I'm not going back until 3rd Jan

OP - tough choice to make. My current job is on a dry campus, but my previous employer (an advertising agency) had pretty much everything in terms of alcohol. They even had a keg in the kitchen. I wasn't thinking about getting sober at that time so needless to say it enabled me. A lot.

ChloeRose63

Try hard to remember how sick you were after you drank and couldn't regain control. Think beyond the initial feeling and recall the days of detoxing vividly. I'm sure in the midst of being sick you told yourself 'Never Again". So, tell yourself that now!! Don't get started down the path of destruction!!

ScottFromWI

Because we are alcoholics. And because there's not much worth having in life that is "easy". Sobriety is no different.

Your conclusion from your "experiment" was as follows
I've moved on from yesterday and feel better than ever. It will never happen again. I can assure you of that. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post6230531

Follow through on your word to yourself - you won't regret it.

Conquest

I experimented after 7 months of sobriety and it slowly morphed back into what it was before. Actually worse than before because I was trying so hard to hide it. I still can't believe it.

Choose health and peace, sweet sister.

tomsteve

you get through today, then maybe time to figger out what needs to be done to not go in the fridge any more?

heartcore

I'm with Juno.
It can't be the mere presence of wine that pulls me from my sobriety, or I wouldn't be sober right now.
I live in New Orleans. You can't walk down the street without being confronted by alcohol. Every event, every home, every restaurant and festival...drenched in alcohol.
I was in a women's AA meeting the other day and a woman said "all this fuss about a beverage! Just a beverage!" That statement has helped me many times in the last week of holiday gatherings. Am I really going to let myself feel miserable because my body doesn't process a particular beverage well? I'm not devastated that white chocolate makes me sick...this does not ruin my holiday season...
I also remember someone sharing that once they had made the decision to become vegetarian, seeing meat didn't fill them with desire - it kind of grossed them out. I like that way of thinking about it. I don't see committed vegetarians (even if they once enjoyed meat, but quit for health or spiritual reasons) struggling because there's extra turkey and ham slices in the work fridge from the Christmas party.
Sometimes, it's the simple imagery/perspective shift that helps me the most.
Hang in there!

5upersonic

Poison in fancy bottles.

I was reading an article earlier about falling sherry sales in the UK. Apparently drinking the stuff is a great festive tradition that's been handed down from generation to generation, and it's our DUTY to keep it going.

Well I can tell them why sales are falling; it's vile stuff. And all this nonsense about traditions doesn't make it taste any better.

Yes wine tastes better but it's still vomit and hangover inducing poison, see it for what it is.

Behappy1

Thank you for posting secretchord. Your journey has reminded me of why I cannot ever touch a drop of alcohol again. It opens up the doors to the beast again. We try so hard to tame it, we think we've achieved it. It becomes quiet so we think we can trust it again because it's harmless. Let it out of its cage and it's ok for a while, then becomes wild and untamable again. I so appreciate your honesty, which is more than I can say for myself.

How are you doing tonight?

Dee74

I hope you got home ok.

what have you been doing for your recovery since you recommitted to not drinking, SC?

D

LexieCat

Are there no liquor stores on the way home from work? What's the draw of the wine in the refrigerator, that it's FREE? You can't be that hard-up.

It's really no different from choosing not to turn into the parking lot at the liquor store. Nobody's stopping you from doing that, are they?

What always helped me was to simply think of it as something no longer relevant to my existence. Like skydiving or something. Great for other people, just not for me.

secretchord

I made it home without wine. Thanks everyone. Glad I checked in.

least

You can stay sober as long as you want to be sober more than you want to drink.

BrendaChenowyth

There's alcohol in my house. There was alcohol in the house where I used to provide in-home care... I eventually learned to co-exist with it. You can, too.

Behappy1

If only it were that simple. We are all here because we don't want to drink. We all want to be free from alcohol. Glad you made it home SC and thank you again for posting and keeping it real.

Conquest

Atta girl, SC.

HTown

Leftover wine in the fridge. Yuck! And besides, who wants half a bottle? You take that left-over bottle home and soon (probably the same night) you will buy another full one. That's what I would do.

No thank you. Stay strong.