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Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

Old 10-08-2004, 05:15 PM
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Unhappy Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

We recently checked our son into a inpatient drug treatment program. He agreed to go after an intervention. He has been in the program for about 6 days and it has been nothing but torture for us. Telephone calls, text messages, etc. begging us to get him out of the program. Our son has been smoking pot, drinking alcohol, and recently graduated to crystal meth. Our intellect tells us he needs to be where he is but his pain is tugging at our heartstrings. He is almost 20 yrs old and could actually leave the program if he wanted however he is about 1,000 miles from home and about 500 miles from any close friends. Can anyone share thier experience and let us know how to deal with him?
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Old 10-08-2004, 05:32 PM
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((((((Kathy))))))

He gonna be in pain until he gets totally detoxed and accepts how he has been living his life......his screaming and crying is pretty normal. Try to bite the bullet and just pray for him and trust God.

It would probably be a good idea for you to get to some naranon or alanon meetings and they will help you to understand what your family is going thru. Keep posting here too cause there are a lot of parents here with children who are addicts and alcoholics....(((((((BIG HUG)))))))) and oh... welcome to sober recovery~!~~~
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Old 10-08-2004, 05:36 PM
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Hi Kathy and welcome. My son is an addict and has been through rehab several times, and I know that the first week or two can be the hardest for them probably because they are still detoxing and also they are facing the world clean for the firt time in a long time, and feeling emotions that have been numbed for far too long.

Leaving him there is the right thing to do. As you said, he can leave if he chooses, but by not helping him he may decide to stay, and even if he leaves it would be his choice alone.

If you and your husband have not been to a Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting, make a date and go. You wil meet many people there who have gone through this and they will help you find peace again and learn how to step out of his chaos. There are a lot of moms here, on the Nar-Anon forum, so please feel welcome to come down there and say hello. Take a read around and just make yourself comfortable, and know that you have come to a wonderful place of hope and support.

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Old 10-08-2004, 06:32 PM
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Hi Kathy,
Splendra and Ann gave you good avice about the alanon and naranon meetings.
I think its important also not to be an enabler in any way.
Your son is 20 years old and he needs to start making the right decisions for himself now. Of course he is not happy where he is right now, but, the only way he is going to get the message is when he has to fend for himself. You only need to be there for support.
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Old 10-08-2004, 10:45 PM
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[QUOTE=splendra]((((((Kathy))))))

He gonna be in pain until he gets totally detoxed and accepts how he has been living his life......his screaming and crying is pretty normal.

Man I remember the first time they put me in a mental hospital(my schrink and my parents)..I was 17
years old smoking pot and boozing boozing boozing..Still I did'nt realise I had a problem..Sometimes people like us (and yes it's hard)have to go through periods like that..It was'nt until my 26 th that I realised I had a problem..And after all those years I'm rather glad my parents did'nt bow under all my beggings to take me home..I should say..let him know you're still are there for him...But he HAS TO realise about his addiction.. maybe you can introduce him to this site..And especialy I think it's very important that you do'nt give him a feeling that he done something wrong(probably he will feel it that way already naturaly)try to make him see that he his ill and that he can't help it but that he needs treatment..like someone replied already for you maybe it's good to keep posting and get in contact with people of nar anon or al anon..Realy as long he doesn't realise that he is sick he will probably feel it like he did something wrong and that he's a bad boy..But it's very good he's in such a place at such a young age..I wish you a lot of strenght and I realize (by now "I'm 31")that it must be very hard for a parent to feel like you can't help him..And in a way it's true..It's all up to him now..Love from Stefanie
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Old 10-11-2004, 06:44 PM
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light at the end of the tunnel

Kathy.. My husband has just went through a 35 day program in tennessee, He also wanted to come home but he had no phone privledges or anything for the first week.. no cell phone, pagers etc....at any time, the first sunday that I got to go up to see him,I could not believe the difference in his looks,attitude etc... I also seen in this particular rehab that many of the older guys, and girls, women who are very serious about the program have taken alot of the younger adults under theri wing and gave them hope, it was such a wonderful thing to see my husband who is a crack addict, talk to these younger and even older addicts/alcoholics about it getting easier and just take it one day at a time..... This particular recovery center has been the answere to our prayers, I just spent a weekend there for a family fundamentals classes.... This was so eye opening and When i left to go home on Sunday my Husband made the comment to me " It's easier letting you go home this time because I know we are going to be ok" for the first time in months I actually have faith that I can still love my husband but hate his disease. Your son is in the right place, if they have family thereapy get all you can get from it, it will help you along with alanon meetings and also SR has been a great place for me to get so much inspiration...My husband and I now have matching coins... The serenity prayer on one side and the name of recovery center on the other...GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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