Have to reach out
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Essex County New Jersey
Posts: 140
Have to reach out
Well, I was going to quit visiting this site as I had felt some negativity that was really discouraging. But that is only a very small percentage of the posts, isn't it? I am not a very rational person. I see a couple of negative things and I just start to spiral. I think years of alcohol abuse may be a contributing factor ...
Anyway I kept lurking in spite of myself because I really need to see stories and conversations from people going through the same thing that I am going through. I feel like if I don't reach out that's not good.
Thanks everyone for the forum, it's so good to have this resource to rely on.
I am on day one again after a horrible bender yesterday
Anyway I kept lurking in spite of myself because I really need to see stories and conversations from people going through the same thing that I am going through. I feel like if I don't reach out that's not good.
Thanks everyone for the forum, it's so good to have this resource to rely on.
I am on day one again after a horrible bender yesterday
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 174
Welcome back! I'm pretty new here also, I just passed my one month mark. It can be hard dealing with negativity, but I find far more understanding and positivity. When I come across negative posts I simply stop reading and move on. I don't need it.
Please keep posting! Not everyone understands me, but the support I get here is invaluable and I don't know where I would be without it.
Please keep posting! Not everyone understands me, but the support I get here is invaluable and I don't know where I would be without it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
glad youre stickin around, spartanman. I agree with this statement:
" I think years of alcohol abuse may be a contributing factor."
negativity became my normal. I had a negative outlook on everything. it could've been a beautiful,sunny awesome day yet I could find something bad about it. it was all in my attitude and outlook, which needed a major overhauling. to get that overhauling I had to hear and read things that weren't very pleasant to read, but true.
i got sober through AA. there was this old fart that would say something that would just peeve me something fierce. after a meeting one day he came up to me smiling( which peeved me) and said, "tom, ya cop a serious attitude often when i say something. any idea why that is?"
"because youre an *******."
"well, yes, i can be, but i think its probably because its true for you,too."
that old fart really helped me see the why's of it all.
when we'd sit down and talk, i was completely amazed how similar our thinking and actions were while drinking yet a 30+ year gap between them.
" I think years of alcohol abuse may be a contributing factor."
negativity became my normal. I had a negative outlook on everything. it could've been a beautiful,sunny awesome day yet I could find something bad about it. it was all in my attitude and outlook, which needed a major overhauling. to get that overhauling I had to hear and read things that weren't very pleasant to read, but true.
i got sober through AA. there was this old fart that would say something that would just peeve me something fierce. after a meeting one day he came up to me smiling( which peeved me) and said, "tom, ya cop a serious attitude often when i say something. any idea why that is?"
"because youre an *******."
"well, yes, i can be, but i think its probably because its true for you,too."
that old fart really helped me see the why's of it all.
when we'd sit down and talk, i was completely amazed how similar our thinking and actions were while drinking yet a 30+ year gap between them.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Welcome back Spartanman! You will find lots of support on this site. The 24 hour thread is a great positive source of support. Also, if you haven't already joined the December class that is another good support.
Remember, if you feel a thread is negative,just skip over it, there are lots of other threads on SR, read the ones that help you.
Glad you are back!
Remember, if you feel a thread is negative,just skip over it, there are lots of other threads on SR, read the ones that help you.
Glad you are back!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
I understand what you are saying about the negative comments that you will occasionally get on SR. But like you said, they are few and far between. The vast number of people here are very supportive and really want to help. Glad you decided to stick around. Have a great day!! John
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I suspect that the negative thread you're referring to is one I avoided for just that very reason. But, as you say, most threads and people on here are very positive and supportive, so I keep coming back. I have had to use the ignore facility on here a couple of times over the last few years as well for sanities sake. Just like I have on other social media. Thing is, the support I've recieved on here has made a massive difference to my recovery, so like I life, I take the rough with the smooth and try not to let my expectations trip me up.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 292
Originally Posted by Spartanman 
I am on day one again after a horrible bender yesterday
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Negativity is one of the last words I'd use to describe this place. I find it incredibly positive and inspiring. Of course, this is the internet though, so there will always be one or two things you don't agree with though. Like others have said, I tend to just skip those posts / threads,
All the best for your day 1
All the best for your day 1
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Glad you are still around Spartanman. As many have mentioned we are all here for the same reason and I'm glad you decided to stay. There will always be negativity around us in life, no matter if it's on an internet forum or in everyday life in person. That's just a function of human nature, not a function of the venue. And also remember that many people are struggling just like you, we all did at some point. Everyone has a bad day now and then and sometimes our comments reflect that.
Hope you can spend some time reading and sharing, you are welcome to say as much or as little as you would like.
Hope you can spend some time reading and sharing, you are welcome to say as much or as little as you would like.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I'm glad you stuck around.
In any group of human beings, there'll be things we agree with and things we don't. Things we see as positive, things that really rub us wrong.
In any group of people working on sobriety and recovery.... there'll be human beings.
If we can learn to look openly for the things that may help us, suspend our judgement or simply walk away from the things that really don't sit well with us, then we can take away from any interaction with a group of people in recovery something that will benefit our own sobriety.
In any group of human beings, there'll be things we agree with and things we don't. Things we see as positive, things that really rub us wrong.
In any group of people working on sobriety and recovery.... there'll be human beings.
If we can learn to look openly for the things that may help us, suspend our judgement or simply walk away from the things that really don't sit well with us, then we can take away from any interaction with a group of people in recovery something that will benefit our own sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Thanks for your post. My post might be considered negative but I use to enjoy the Christmas season but now it’s been turned into eeking my way through the days staying in sobriety and boredom. I long for the days that I could go out and have a few drinks with some friends and reminisce of the days of the year. 2016 has been one of the most kickass years of my life! Positive ; ) but I’m pissed that I have to struggle with cravings like this. I seriously want to just go to bar and hang out and just reminisce about the old days. Meet a stranger and just chat at the bar. Have a few beers and call up some old friends and just catch up. Is that wise? Probably not. Why because one is too many and a 1000 not enough. *uck early sobriety around the holidays suck.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
That's great Spartan
I know I can learn from most posts. If nothing else I can learn to modulate my own reactions. Nothing can really upset me if I don't let it. Doesn't mean I'm human Teflon but most stuff in life doesn't require an over reaction. And I've found the posts that irritate me the most are the ones I need to really look at. The why of my reaction.
I know I can learn from most posts. If nothing else I can learn to modulate my own reactions. Nothing can really upset me if I don't let it. Doesn't mean I'm human Teflon but most stuff in life doesn't require an over reaction. And I've found the posts that irritate me the most are the ones I need to really look at. The why of my reaction.
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