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Going back to work after rehab

Old 12-19-2016, 07:20 PM
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Going back to work after rehab

Tips? Head held high? I'm so grateful to still have a job but every night I dream about what it will be like to go back, the judgment, the gossip mill?

I get this one last chance. Besides doing my work, which when sober I
I do exceptionally well, what else can I arm myself with to cope and stay strong in the face of the ckbdequence of "being known"
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Old 12-19-2016, 08:07 PM
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Oh I know the answer to this one...it's "head held high" of course. I had been through Hell and came out the other side. I honestly gave two fat rat's asses about the gossip mill. Let them talk. You get on with the business of living!

I just focused on my work and did not discuss anything personal except with a trusted few. You've made a giant positive change in your life by quitting drinking. What you've done is something to feel proud of, never ashamed of.
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Old 12-19-2016, 08:10 PM
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Originally Posted by soberlicious View Post
Oh I know the answer to this one...it's "head held high" of course. I had been through Hell and came out the other side. I honestly gave two fat rat's asses about the gossip mill. Let them talk. You get on with the business of living!

I just focused on my work and did not discuss anything personal except with a trusted few. You've made a giant positive change in your life by quitting drinking. What you've done is something to feel proud of, never ashamed of.
I don't feel proud of my 24 days, just lots of shame and regret and so so confused about staying strong in the evidence that I can't handle anything but abstinence.
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Old 12-19-2016, 08:18 PM
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Keep doing the next right thing, work to your best. If applicable maybe approach any coworkers who may have had to do more or things differently and show appreciation for their efforts. And continue to do your job well.
Looking at the same situation , objectively, how would you treat someone "known"?
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Old 12-19-2016, 08:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Water441
I don't feel proud of my 24 days, just lots of shame and regret and so so confused about staying strong in the evidence that I can't handle anything but abstinence.
Do you not feel confident in your ability to remain abstinent?

It was my experience that most at my job were very welcoming. Some weren't sure of the exact reason for my leave, they just knew it was "bad", so there was some whisperings as people tried to figure things out. But really all that fades pretty quickly and everyone moves forward.

Shame and regret are pretty normal feelings when we've done things that are regrettable. You can't change what has already happened, but you can change what will happen in the future.
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Old 12-19-2016, 08:45 PM
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Congrats Water441 ! There is nothing wrong with realizing that you need to lead an abstinent life now. That's the point.
Stay sober, work hard and relish the opportunity you have been given. Life is good!
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Old 12-20-2016, 12:25 AM
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Taking the decision to quit and seeing it through is something to be proud of. So many problem drinkers don't face up to this and are left with a lifetime of misery instead. I think you've done a wonderful thing which will likely inspire a coworker or two now or someday in the future.
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Old 12-20-2016, 12:31 AM
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Walking in is going to be hard, but you just have to get through that first day. Do you have a plan for what you are going to do after work that day?
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Old 12-20-2016, 12:51 AM
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I have a reason for what I do at this. Very visible burns on my RHS, plus wear a constriction glove (fingerless thingy to aid in blood flow) 22/7. So many people ask what happened and how. It was booze. So I just tell them in 1 sentence. I crudded up- but am no longer that Jeckyl person. So I do not defend or hide. It just is. I do not explain away. If they say 'so your are an alcoholic', I say 'yes.' There is not really anywhere to go after that.
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Old 12-20-2016, 07:23 AM
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Own it. Don't try to pretend it didn't happen. Do a good job and be a good person. Humans can be pretty forgiving when we show contrition. Wish you the best.
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Old 12-20-2016, 02:07 PM
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Head held high for sure. In fact, you may have people approach you quietly about what issues they or their family / friends may have with too much drinking. I only told my boss what happened (he was supportive and told me he himself drinks too much), but somehow others found out. The fact that you have gone through that and come out the other side will be seen by many as amazing strength. As to the rumormill, nothing you can do about that, so just hold your head high then too!

I also started back to work after recovery in late 2014. As luck, fate or the Gods would have it, my inpatient stay happened during the time I was off for Christmas (2 week break from work). When I went back I knew I was in a different place mentally...one without daily booze...and this gave me pause to be patient and kind to myself. Went in thinking my job ability would stink for a while, but actually was able to focus better and be more productive not too long after being in the hospital.
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Old 12-20-2016, 02:29 PM
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theres one major priority:
don't drink even if your ass falls off.

what to expect: nothing!
that way whatever happens will be easier to accept.

what other people say about you is their problem, not yours. yup, ya used to be pretty sick, but now your in the solution, which,
not matter what problem arises, there IS a solution and drinking isn't a solution to anything.
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Old 12-22-2016, 03:57 PM
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Above all, never drink, and maintain your professionalism. There is no credit due for being a recovering anything in the workplace, so don't become a recovery missionary, or talk about your rehab stay with anyone that doesn't need to know about it. If any of your co-workers don't know, keep it that way, and don't volunteer unnecessary information.

If co-workers ask where you were, you can say that you had a personal medical matter to attend to, or something similar. If they ask about drinking, don't say that you are allergic, or that you are sober, which just broadcasts that you are an alcoholic. Say that you are driving, that you don't drink, or that your doctor advised that you quit drinking.

All your employer wants is responsible and reliable employees, so reassure your bosses, co-workers, and/or HR that you are back in the game, and that everything is under control. Do not violate any terms that you agreed to in exchange for leniency, such as aftercare, which will send the opposite message, and which could trigger more drastic sanctions.

Once again, maintain your professionalism.
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Old 12-22-2016, 06:49 PM
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I know ur pain. I got arrested for drinking 7 months ago live in very very small town i was so afraid to go to work Monday, so i prayed and prayed held my head high and walked in to human resource office. I shouldve know being such small town they already knew, but thankfully i still have my job. There were a few ppl making snide remsrks behind my back but realized not worth getting upset over it,
stay strong... odaat...
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Old 12-22-2016, 07:18 PM
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Don't be surprised if someone comes up to you very discreetly for advice, about a brother, a loved one, or maybe even themselves
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