avidreader

Went to my first meeting last night, and to be honest I felt extremely uncomfortable. The people were very nice, and I enjoyed hearing a lot of their stories--that part was pretty interesting and helpful. Even though AA is non-denominational, the religious aspect of the steps and their philosophy is not something that I can relate to or that inspires me at all. I don't want to recite the serenity prayer, I don't want to have to say "Hi Bob" over and over again--it makes me feel like I am in kindergarten or something, and all of the readings and reciting stuff together make me feel like I'm in church, which is NOT my bag at all. If anything, I felt more depressed after the meeting. It was right across from one of my favorite bars, and I thought--I could just go in and order a beer. I wanted to. But I didn't and went on home.

I do not mean to offend any of you that have been helped by AA--if you get something out of it I am happy for you. I wish I could! It makes me feel like I am not ever going to fit in anywhere. I am going to another group called Women For Sobriety tomorrow--their philosophy focuses more on one's inner strengths than weaknesses. I may go back to an AA meeting just to see if I do catch some kind of spark there, but right now I don't know what is going to happen. I'm glad I'm seeing my therapist today! Thanks for listening.

3legacy

(((((AvidReader)))))))
Thought I had already replied to this post but guess it was elsewhere. I hope you find what your seeking and it works for you. If it does not suffice and you still need help with your drinking dilemma, We in A.A. will be here to welcome you back with open arms.

Kiss Heart of Spirit In Love & Service,
Three Legs

Guilty Spark

Avidreader (I'm an avid reader too by the way),
You probably just described how it feels for everyone going to their first meeting. 12-step meetings are strange to everyone going their first time. The atmosphere of 12-step meetings are different than any atmosphere I've experienced.

When I started going I couldn't believe how cheesy they seemed with the holding hands and the Serenity Prayer but I kept going eventually because nothing else seemed to work, for me at least. As far as the cheesy stuff, as soon as I realized that AA/NA was working for me (and it took alot more than just a few meetings to realize this), it was a small price to pay for my peace of mind.

The womens meeting is probably a good idea. My favorite meetings have always been mens meetings. I like to see a bunch of tough guys sitting around getting in touch with their feelings.

Anyways, I hope everything works out for you and I found absolutely no offense in your post, just honesty.

karena

Hi avidreader
when I went to my first meeting it was a candlelight you wanna talk about weird, but I tried another why don't you. You don't have to say anything you don't want to I too thought it was incredibly corny but I have come to realize that the saying "Hi Bob" or whoever it is speaking is a way of making that person feel more relaxed it is not an easy thing to get up in front of a group of people. The readings in the beginning are the way meetings are started it and the serenity pray or at my meetings we say the Lords pray (if you really listen to the Lords pray it applies to all denominations) is the way meetings are ended. Good Luck with the women's meeting. I got alot of my questions answered at my women's meeting. Karena

Don S

Here are some of the other recovery groups out there, if you want to try them. You can check their web sites to see if they have face-to-face meetings in your area, and some also have online meetings.

http://www.rrci.net/recovery_spectrum.htm
http://www.secularsobriety.org/links.html

Don S

easydoesitmikey

Thanx Don.That second link was really helpful for me.

JaySee

Hi Avidreader

There are lots of recovery methods, I hope you find one that works for you, but please keep posting here.

I use AA and my early experience was very mixed.

Some of it I really liked:
Mixing with people who had years and years of sobriety

Some of it I found quite uncomfortable at first:
prayers and humility.

But I keep going back and listening to what is suggested and it's working for me - one day at a time. Like Legs has said above - it will always be there if you want to go back.

much love
JC

CAPPA

I am sorry that AA is not working for you, I know for me that when I would talk to a therapist I could build a sandcastle in the sky, and have the therapist move in, and decorate it too. My point is unless your therapist is alcoholic he/she will never truly understand our diesease you are paying them to listen to you. The only requirment for AA is a desire to stop drinking simple in theory but difficult for the undisciplined. I tried disciplined drinking, 15 years for me the result was always the same alcohol kicked my rear. I admited I was powerless, attended AA meetings daily for 90 days. My point is you need to find some support group to help you learn to live with this disease there is no cure, only disciplined living, remember that alcohol is cunning and baffling. Good luck in your quest for a support group

splendra

Onething I don't hear too much about is how our DOC is our GOD.....When we are just starting to get clean and we go to an AA or NA meeting and hear someone talking about a HP the disease in us gets offended if you will over the possibility of being dethroned!!!!! Maybe you need to become aware of the religion of addiction. Maybe you can see that going to the bar is like an alter call.

The SERENITY PRAYER is a huge offence to our diseased way of thinking and certainly doesn't want us to stop worshiping it. In my opinion we can gauge how sick we really are by how offended we are by the introduction of NA or AA principals which are not religious but, spiritual. I just hope you can distingish your diseased way of thinking from your desire to get clean and can understand that your disease will do anything it can to pull you back into it.....

Best wishes to you

mill

Damn, guess I am not gonna check out AA after all. I cringe whenever I hear anything to do with make believe stuff(it is make believe in my eyes, I am a jarhead). I guess I want a meeting maybe where it is a WWF cage match or something, not a prayer or holding hands. I want somone to hit me upside the head with a nice soft metal chair.

All the meetings I looked up from somone's great weblink on this board, well, they are all held at a church, or just sound hokey. Do you have to find God to quit drinkin? I dunno. I sure hope not, because if there is a God, I will curse him, and assault him if I can, the guy has done zero for me.

Avid, I cannot give anyone advice, I am the worst damned drunk I have ever heard of, but, if I could I would say stick close to family and loved ones. You know, probably as well as I, that the only person who is gonna make you quit, is you, or a WWF wrestler knocking you down with a nice soft chair.

-Dan the meathead

godsonmyside

I felt the same way at first about the God thing. I felt like they wanted to sell me some thing, but after awhile I came to realize that this is a self-help program and only I can help-me. I have learned through this process that you can't graft a new idea on a Closed-mind. Instead of seeing what was good, I saw everything was bad.
I was suggested to give it a chance, what did I have to lose, I didn't show up because everything was going good in my life. Remember it is a spiritual not religious program and it takes time to develope a new way of thinking, which is most of our problem.

lulu70

Dan and Avidreader--I would guess that more than 80% of people felt the same way you do when they first came in to AA. Many of them decided to never come back, others decided they would give it a chance. The thing is, when those people became desperate enough, when alcohol had taken too much from them, they were left with no choice but to surrender to the program and give it a try. Have you read the chapter "We Agnostics" in the big book? I am not trying to be preachy. I just want ALL alcoholics to get the help they need and deserve. For me, I had to come to the realization that "my way" wasn't working and be willing to do anything to get sober. Many, many people in AA have been exactly where you are. Why don't you try talking to some of them about how you are feeling?

By the way, the reason most alcohol support groups, including AA, meet in churches is not because they are religious, but because churches are simply the cheapest places to get a meeting room.

Best of luck to you both--

1Marty

Avid reader, as others have mentioned, your thoughts are perfectly normal! Its is normal to think AA is strange or wierd or overly religious. I felt the same early on. And to this day I don't agree with every aspect of the program. But we do not have to. As Karena mentioned the "Hi Bob: is a way of making Bob feel more welcome and comfortable. Thats why I say it. Not for me, but for Bob. So your OK! Its good that you are checking out a womens group too. They may be helpful! The important thing is that you are activly seeking a solution for your drinking. Just be honest about your feelings, open to accepting new ideas and new ways, and keep the willingness to achieve sobriety.

Chy

The key is your looking for something to help you and that's huge! WFS is a great group as well. Don't give up looking for the solution that works for you!

1Marty

LOL @ Mill

MootPoint

Hey Avid....... as Chy said, you are trying to quit. Whatever method you use, if it works for you, more power to you.

Re God, I'm an agnostic in AA. I am the only one in my hometown. I guess that would qualify me as an endagered species. I wonder if I can get a government grant for it LOL It's taken alot of work for me to be able to do the Steps... I use Good Orderly Direction as my HP. Or the positive flow of the Universe

I tell you this so you know that there is room for the secular. I am accepted and appreciated in AA tho. And I've learned to appreciate those for whom religion is part of their lives.


Great link, Don.... I could only see the first one. The second one froze my computer

MootPoint

I meant to say "the only agnostic in my hometown AA.