Struggling on day 6..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 295
Struggling on day 6..
Drinking just doesn't work for me.
I make phone calls that leave people concerned ...
I drive ..
I feel sick most of the time ..
I am far less productive at work ..
I am damaging my health with absurd amounts of beer ..
I will lose my girlfriend if caught drinking ... she came back under the condition that I do not drink and keep a job. I have gotten a job and kept it and I didn't drink for 3 months ... I thought I had it beat. Then one day in our new apartment I drank some beers. It awoke the addiction and I've been drinking in secret.. hiding empties, chewing gum, lying ...
It won't work forever, I'm getting progressively worse.. drinking more, forgetting to hide receipts that clearly say I bought beer and luckily finding them before she does...
Yes I know I have to do this for myself .. and I do have a big part of me that knows I will die if I keep going on like this .. I had a doctor tell me based on the amount I drink I likely won't be around in 10 years.
I want to be sober but I want to be happy being sober .. I want to feel at peace with the world.
2 days in a row now on my drive home from work I've planned on buying beer ... fantasized about it .. then talked myself out of it. Today it seemed like no amount of rational thinking was going to keep me from buying the beer ... then right before I got to the store, for whatever reason the strong urge left and I decided to just go straight home.
I make phone calls that leave people concerned ...
I drive ..
I feel sick most of the time ..
I am far less productive at work ..
I am damaging my health with absurd amounts of beer ..
I will lose my girlfriend if caught drinking ... she came back under the condition that I do not drink and keep a job. I have gotten a job and kept it and I didn't drink for 3 months ... I thought I had it beat. Then one day in our new apartment I drank some beers. It awoke the addiction and I've been drinking in secret.. hiding empties, chewing gum, lying ...
It won't work forever, I'm getting progressively worse.. drinking more, forgetting to hide receipts that clearly say I bought beer and luckily finding them before she does...
Yes I know I have to do this for myself .. and I do have a big part of me that knows I will die if I keep going on like this .. I had a doctor tell me based on the amount I drink I likely won't be around in 10 years.
I want to be sober but I want to be happy being sober .. I want to feel at peace with the world.
2 days in a row now on my drive home from work I've planned on buying beer ... fantasized about it .. then talked myself out of it. Today it seemed like no amount of rational thinking was going to keep me from buying the beer ... then right before I got to the store, for whatever reason the strong urge left and I decided to just go straight home.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Great job checking in Volshen please don't drink for your sake trust me it's not worth it stay in touch with us throughout tonight we'll get through it together @ SR there are people here in the same boat & there are people here who want to see you do well drinking will destroy us & leave us with nothing
please think about how it's just not worth it stay with us brother
please think about how it's just not worth it stay with us brother
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Every day that you don't drink is another day that you realize you don't have to.
For me, that's the key. If I am telling myself "Oh, I CAN'T drink," it becomes a battle of willpower versus the feeling of being deprived of something good.
But...is it? For me, I had begun to hate drinking. I'd pour the glass of wine and feel equal parts revulsion and compulsion staring at it. I no longer ever felt anything like a mellow buzz wth any amount of alcohol, just stupid, headachey and nauseated. But I craved it anyway...and every morning I'd wake up at 3:15 a.m. sick, sweaty, and hating myself. RInse and repeat.
So how can I feel deprived not feeling THAT? These days, I remind myself not that I can't drink, but that I'm now free from ever having to drink again.
It may just sound like semantics, but one is deprivation and the other is freedom and it's much easier when I focus on what I'm gaining.
You can do this!
For me, that's the key. If I am telling myself "Oh, I CAN'T drink," it becomes a battle of willpower versus the feeling of being deprived of something good.
But...is it? For me, I had begun to hate drinking. I'd pour the glass of wine and feel equal parts revulsion and compulsion staring at it. I no longer ever felt anything like a mellow buzz wth any amount of alcohol, just stupid, headachey and nauseated. But I craved it anyway...and every morning I'd wake up at 3:15 a.m. sick, sweaty, and hating myself. RInse and repeat.
So how can I feel deprived not feeling THAT? These days, I remind myself not that I can't drink, but that I'm now free from ever having to drink again.
It may just sound like semantics, but one is deprivation and the other is freedom and it's much easier when I focus on what I'm gaining.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,697
Drinking never works. For me, checking in with the weekender threads and such on here does work. Also reminding myself that cravings are temporary. I've even timed them before just to prove to myself how fleeting they are.
I'm glad you're here and wish you the very best. Sobriety is so much better than the alternative!
I'm glad you're here and wish you the very best. Sobriety is so much better than the alternative!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 174
Don't let your AV deceive you. You don't have to drink if you don't want to. Don't believe the lie that it will make you happy. There is nothing that drinking won't make worse.
Focus on all of the reasons you want to quit, all of the ways it's destroying your life. If you truly want to quit (not just because your girlfriend wants you to) You CAN. Ask for help, find a program for support and keep posting here. I've been clean almost a month and the people here are what gave me the strength to finally commit to my sobriety. Finding so many people that understood my struggle and overcame it themselves gave me hope for the first time in a long time.
You can make it to say 7. Don't believe the lies.
Focus on all of the reasons you want to quit, all of the ways it's destroying your life. If you truly want to quit (not just because your girlfriend wants you to) You CAN. Ask for help, find a program for support and keep posting here. I've been clean almost a month and the people here are what gave me the strength to finally commit to my sobriety. Finding so many people that understood my struggle and overcame it themselves gave me hope for the first time in a long time.
You can make it to say 7. Don't believe the lies.
2/2016
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
you made a list of the negatives of drinking, can you make a positive list as well?
mine is:
no longer suicidal
lost weight
more money
no hangover
no guilt
proud of myself
more present for those i love
sleep great
You can do this!
mine is:
no longer suicidal
lost weight
more money
no hangover
no guilt
proud of myself
more present for those i love
sleep great
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Drinking is a drag once it isn't fun anymore.
I drank everyday for 27 years and it probably stopped being fun around year 15 or 16. So that means I spent the last 11 or 12 years hating myself and the addiction I had.
I tried to quit so many times and their were hundreds of days that I didn't even feel like drinking but I did it anyways because drinking everyday was what I did.
Once you truly do not want to drink anymore you will know it. I am 55 days sober and I am at that point in my life of not wanting to drink anymore.
I drank everyday for 27 years and it probably stopped being fun around year 15 or 16. So that means I spent the last 11 or 12 years hating myself and the addiction I had.
I tried to quit so many times and their were hundreds of days that I didn't even feel like drinking but I did it anyways because drinking everyday was what I did.
Once you truly do not want to drink anymore you will know it. I am 55 days sober and I am at that point in my life of not wanting to drink anymore.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,694
Everytime you say 'No' to your AV that wants to drink...you get stronger and the 'beast' gets weaker and weaker. Soon you will overpower it's nasty voice that comes into your head. You will weaken it so much that it will bearly be heard over your laughter of 'beating it to death'. You win!!!
The prize...the power to live your life free from all the horrors of addiction. You get to live!
The prize...the power to live your life free from all the horrors of addiction. You get to live!
Here and now
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Toronto
Posts: 334
Hey vol, thanks for sharing your situation.
I, like you, was drinking rediculous amounts of beer in one setting, for me it let me escape but looking back it was the cause of all my issues.
I can promise you, that it will be tough for a while. I also promise that it gets so much easier and your body and mind will be so grateful that you persevered through to get your first month, year, decade ect. I myself am only at 113 days, before this stretch my longest pause was maybe 2 or 3 weeks here and there. I feel fantastic, and the cravings have been converted to disgust.
You can do this, head down and charge forward buddy.
I, like you, was drinking rediculous amounts of beer in one setting, for me it let me escape but looking back it was the cause of all my issues.
I can promise you, that it will be tough for a while. I also promise that it gets so much easier and your body and mind will be so grateful that you persevered through to get your first month, year, decade ect. I myself am only at 113 days, before this stretch my longest pause was maybe 2 or 3 weeks here and there. I feel fantastic, and the cravings have been converted to disgust.
You can do this, head down and charge forward buddy.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
