I thought I had this
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Metro NYC
Posts: 64
I thought I had this
So, I had some time under my belt. I was feeling decent but not great and I decided I was fine and could moderate. A story we have all read on the forums time and time again, but I'm different... Not true, after a few days of "moderating" I was right back to drinking heavily if not even more extreme. Every day was a black out. Very disturbing to me and I'm disgusted. I have to make this work this time. Going to engage with the board and community on a consistent basis. Here's to a sober Friday and onward.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
let me suggest a slight edit from "I have to make this work..." to "I CHOOSE to make this work and am resolved to honor that choice with ACTIONS this time..."
Don't allow being disgusted. This experiment gave you clear evidence. Use the energy that you're channeling into disgust as a momentum toward choice and action instead.
You can do this.
Don't allow being disgusted. This experiment gave you clear evidence. Use the energy that you're channeling into disgust as a momentum toward choice and action instead.
You can do this.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Okay, so maybe now you're more convinced than before that you need to get sober. If sobriety is what you want, then I don't get why you're disgusted by having to get it right this time.
What were you doing before to stay sober?
What were you doing before to stay sober?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Metro NYC
Posts: 64
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC 
Okay, so maybe now you're more convinced than before that you need to get sober. If sobriety is what you want, then I don't get why you're disgusted by having to get it right this time.
What were you doing before to stay sober?
What were you doing before to stay sober?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Metro NYC
Posts: 64
Originally Posted by Haydentree
This may sound strange, but going solo and not giving it power. It's an interesting thing my wife discussed with me. I listen to Alcohol Mastery daily and Recovery Elevator. They both have helped. But to be honest, I was struggling in my mind and I distracted those thoughts by staying really busy.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
Originally Posted by Haydentree
So, I had some time under my belt. I was feeling decent but not great and I decided I was fine and could moderate. A story we have all read on the forums time and time again, but I'm different... Not true, after a few days of "moderating" I was right back to drinking heavily if not even more extreme. Every day was a black out. Very disturbing to me and I'm disgusted. I have to make this work this time. Going to engage with the board and community on a consistent basis. Here's to a sober Friday and onward.
I got the lesson finally, and just past 13 months sober now.
I will never drink again, and best of all, I feel good and happy about it,
not deprived or regretting the booze one bit
Start again and you can do it!
Laura
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Haydentree
I was feeling decent but not great and I decided I was fine and could moderate. A story we have all read on the forums time and time again, but I'm different...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Originally Posted by Haydentree
So, I had some time under my belt. I was feeling decent but not great and I decided I was fine and could moderate. A story we have all read on the forums time and time again, but I'm different... Not true, after a few days of "moderating" I was right back to drinking heavily if not even more extreme. Every day was a black out. Very disturbing to me and I'm disgusted. I have to make this work this time. Going to engage with the board and community on a consistent basis. Here's to a sober Friday and onward.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
hey Haydentree,
first you thought you had this, then you thought you could moderate.
for me, putting action into place, actions i actually continued while thoughts came and went, built a better foundation.
first you thought you had this, then you thought you could moderate.
for me, putting action into place, actions i actually continued while thoughts came and went, built a better foundation.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
For alcoholics, moderating is but a dream. There was a guy a long time ago who kept a spreadsheet of his drinking habits after a long period of sobriety. He drank once, and the next time was around 9 days later....within 2 months he was back to daily drinking, all documented. I found it very interesting.
Its easier to quit altogether.
Its easier to quit altogether.
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