How to stay sober over the holidays
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 3
How to stay sober over the holidays
I have only been sober 3.5 weeks . My whole family will drink everyday while we are together for the holidays . Especially my sister , she drinks a lot and we've always been drinking buddies . I told her I was not drinking and she very seriously said then don't come home for Christmas
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 3
Yes
Yes it is 
. I only see my family every couple months . My son is only 4 and has been counting the days to see his grandparents . I've never missed a Christmas with my parents and sister in the 37 years of my life
. I only see my family every couple months . My son is only 4 and has been counting the days to see his grandparents . I've never missed a Christmas with my parents and sister in the 37 years of my life
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,669
Hi Kake- we discussed this today in my SMART recovery session. What I am doing is to have a plan of what to do- not just hope everything will be ok. This includes the whole anxiety filled season.
I know what dates will set me off. I know to remove myself from risky or unsafe situations. To eat well. hydrate and try to get enough sleep. Movies on hand for the long overnight cannot sleep times. Snack foods- mainly healthy. Avoid social media (except SR- will be here a lot).
Others also suggested a plan B. A way to get out of an uncomfortable family event, say. Money for a taxi. Go with a sobriety buddy. Tell everyone you have to go early with somewhere to go. Always have a glass- with some non-a fluid in it so people are discouraged from offering you booze. PJ
I know what dates will set me off. I know to remove myself from risky or unsafe situations. To eat well. hydrate and try to get enough sleep. Movies on hand for the long overnight cannot sleep times. Snack foods- mainly healthy. Avoid social media (except SR- will be here a lot).
Others also suggested a plan B. A way to get out of an uncomfortable family event, say. Money for a taxi. Go with a sobriety buddy. Tell everyone you have to go early with somewhere to go. Always have a glass- with some non-a fluid in it so people are discouraged from offering you booze. PJ
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Is it possible she was joking, or being sarcastic (even though it isn't funny?) I have had a few friends say "You better avoid my house if you aren't drinking." And then laugh. Sounds like having your little one ther to spend time with his grandparents is a good way to enjoy your time. Maybe you can plan some baking or crafts for him to do with them.
I agree about sticking close to here. Have an escape route planned if needed, perhaps going for a walk. Is it possible to stay at a hotel so you can get away in the evenings?
I agree about sticking close to here. Have an escape route planned if needed, perhaps going for a walk. Is it possible to stay at a hotel so you can get away in the evenings?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 26
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ 
Hi Kake- we discussed this today in my SMART recovery session. What I am doing is to have a plan of what to do- not just hope everything will be ok. This includes the whole anxiety filled season.
I know what dates will set me off. I know to remove myself from risky or unsafe situations. To eat well. hydrate and try to get enough sleep. Movies on hand for the long overnight cannot sleep times. Snack foods- mainly healthy. Avoid social media (except SR- will be here a lot).
Others also suggested a plan B. A way to get out of an uncomfortable family event, say. Money for a taxi. Go with a sobriety buddy. Tell everyone you have to go early with somewhere to go. Always have a glass- with some non-a fluid in it so people are discouraged from offering you booze. PJ
I know what dates will set me off. I know to remove myself from risky or unsafe situations. To eat well. hydrate and try to get enough sleep. Movies on hand for the long overnight cannot sleep times. Snack foods- mainly healthy. Avoid social media (except SR- will be here a lot).
Others also suggested a plan B. A way to get out of an uncomfortable family event, say. Money for a taxi. Go with a sobriety buddy. Tell everyone you have to go early with somewhere to go. Always have a glass- with some non-a fluid in it so people are discouraged from offering you booze. PJ
My experience, the first offer for a drink is the most difficult to deal with and then it gets easier.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 26
Also, don't forget to exercise! Going on walks, dancing, cleaning, shoveling snow...whatever you can do to sweat and get your body moving will give you a natural and healthy high thereby reducing your craving for an alcohol buzz.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
If you're going for your sons sake all the more reason not to drink 
There are some really good tips here - for any social occasion:
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide
As for your sister - tough luck for her, right?
Don't let yourself be talked into just one, or just a sip.
No really is a complete sentence - I felt sick the first time I said no, but it got easier and easier each time after that
D
There are some really good tips here - for any social occasion:
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide
As for your sister - tough luck for her, right?
Don't let yourself be talked into just one, or just a sip.
No really is a complete sentence - I felt sick the first time I said no, but it got easier and easier each time after that
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Sorry to hear you didn't get any support from your sister. Over the holidays be sure to let everyone know that alcohol is off the table for you and you will definitely be tested ( ahhh one little drink won't hurt) but stay strong and always have an out if you need it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Change in anything is tough and many
don't like it or wont have anything to
do with it.
Those of us who have learned how to
remain sober for a many one days at a
time have found what works in avoiding
situations that would mess with our recovery
life, program that we we've worked so hard
in achieving health, happiness and honesty.
There are quite a few helpful suggestions
shared here by our fellow SR members in
guiding you thru the holidays to help you
remain sober.
When we learn about our addiction and
its affects on our own minds, body and
soul, then learn a recovery program to
incorporate in all areas of our life, we
begin to build a strong solid foundation
to live our lives upon for many one days
sober or clean ahead of us.
We become responsible and protective
of what we've worked so hard for to want
to live a sober life and won't let anyone,
no family members, no co-workers, no
friends, no one to interfere with it.
What you are learning now will strengthen
you into becoming the best person you
possibly can be for you and those around
you, even if others don't understand or agree.
Selfishly you have to do whatever you
need and want to do to remain sober,
and you never have to go thru it alone
because there are many living a recovery
life that have paved the way for you to
follow simply by sharing their own ESH-
experiences, strengths and hopes of what
their lives were and are like before, during
and after addiction.
Remember to be honest in what you do
in the way not to hurt another, but not
to come out with a bold face lie to where
you have to return later to make those
amend for not being truthful.
I never liked having to return to face
folks for deceiving them, lying to them
down the road.
You have time now with helpful suggestions
to plan your visit accordingly with never having
to drink poison and put your child and yourself
in danger by drinking and driving under the influence.
Once I became sober and learned about
my own addiction to alcohol, I was then
able to share what was taught to me to
my own children and become an good
teacher to them about the dangers of
addiction and what lurks out there in
the world and ways to avoid them.
We become passionate about our cause
in paving the way for others to follow by
becoming a living example that we could
and would remain sober under any and all
circumstances that cross our paths in life.
Carry on sober and always remain teachable.
don't like it or wont have anything to
do with it.
Those of us who have learned how to
remain sober for a many one days at a
time have found what works in avoiding
situations that would mess with our recovery
life, program that we we've worked so hard
in achieving health, happiness and honesty.
There are quite a few helpful suggestions
shared here by our fellow SR members in
guiding you thru the holidays to help you
remain sober.
When we learn about our addiction and
its affects on our own minds, body and
soul, then learn a recovery program to
incorporate in all areas of our life, we
begin to build a strong solid foundation
to live our lives upon for many one days
sober or clean ahead of us.
We become responsible and protective
of what we've worked so hard for to want
to live a sober life and won't let anyone,
no family members, no co-workers, no
friends, no one to interfere with it.
What you are learning now will strengthen
you into becoming the best person you
possibly can be for you and those around
you, even if others don't understand or agree.
Selfishly you have to do whatever you
need and want to do to remain sober,
and you never have to go thru it alone
because there are many living a recovery
life that have paved the way for you to
follow simply by sharing their own ESH-
experiences, strengths and hopes of what
their lives were and are like before, during
and after addiction.
Remember to be honest in what you do
in the way not to hurt another, but not
to come out with a bold face lie to where
you have to return later to make those
amend for not being truthful.
I never liked having to return to face
folks for deceiving them, lying to them
down the road.
You have time now with helpful suggestions
to plan your visit accordingly with never having
to drink poison and put your child and yourself
in danger by drinking and driving under the influence.
Once I became sober and learned about
my own addiction to alcohol, I was then
able to share what was taught to me to
my own children and become an good
teacher to them about the dangers of
addiction and what lurks out there in
the world and ways to avoid them.
We become passionate about our cause
in paving the way for others to follow by
becoming a living example that we could
and would remain sober under any and all
circumstances that cross our paths in life.
Carry on sober and always remain teachable.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Kate,
There are a few serious drunks in my family.
I used to be the worst. It was bad.
Now when i visit, to see grandma mainly, it is different.
Instead of booze, i drink water. I watch my drunkard family members drink themselves into lala land. I pretend i am a bit tipsey w them. They appreciate it vs me trying to fix them or whatever.
I was tempted early on, but my switch has flipped. I hate booze.
Go w your family. Be the dd. Hold their hair when they get ill.
Enjoy the drama, stay clean.
We all know here that booze is a killer.
Thanks.
There are a few serious drunks in my family.
I used to be the worst. It was bad.
Now when i visit, to see grandma mainly, it is different.
Instead of booze, i drink water. I watch my drunkard family members drink themselves into lala land. I pretend i am a bit tipsey w them. They appreciate it vs me trying to fix them or whatever.
I was tempted early on, but my switch has flipped. I hate booze.
Go w your family. Be the dd. Hold their hair when they get ill.
Enjoy the drama, stay clean.
We all know here that booze is a killer.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Gotta love family. I don't go home for the holidays, ever. Its not worth it. I see them other times, when the tensions and temptations are less.
As for the sister, she can drink alone. Not cool of her to say that. Maybe tell her you're an alcoholic and if you drink, you die.
As for the sister, she can drink alone. Not cool of her to say that. Maybe tell her you're an alcoholic and if you drink, you die.
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Originally Posted by Kake
My son is only 4 and has been counting the days to see his grandparents .
Kate - You know it! The other stuff ... just do what you need to do for yourself and son. Even if it means a shorter visit. But staying sober will enhance you and your son's experience and memories.
Peace
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