Mattq2

I tried to post this the other day and screwed up with my phone and accidentally posted it under some one else's thread because I'm a technology genius 😜. I'm between five and six months sober and let's just say everything is better. I'm slightly concerned in that I just feel "less excited" about sobriety then past weeks. no chance I'm going to drink but want to stay vigilant.Is this a bad sign? Time to make changes? Or is it just me getting used to my sober life. Would love to hear from anyone's experiences like this six months in.

Gottalife

The first year for me was very exciting. A lot of big changes were happening and my life was getting better in every respect. By the end of the second year, the new experiences became normal and life took on a steady quality, though I continued to learn and grow.

A lot of what you are asking will depend upon the exact nature of your problem, and the action you have taken to bring about any changes.

Many folks like me have tried to just stop without doing much else. Generally the first part is quite good as the drama stops and the pressure comes off, but we are still the same people. Nothing changes if nothing changes, sobriety loses its attraction, drinking starts to look like a good idea again. The obsession that we may yet be able to drink normally comes back. But I am an alcoholic.

Others may find just stopping drinking is enough and they can do it and stick with it without too much problem. Probably most problem drinkers are like this. Sounds like you are about to discover in which camp you belong.

Mattq2

Thank you gotalife,
Unfortunately I have experienced long term sobriety before, thought I was cured, and drank again with a terrible outcome. I know I can never ever drink again. I loved waking up to a new sober day and felt so excited to experience it. Just don't feel that excitement the last week or so. I don't know. I won't drink I know but want to be sure I'm not heading in the wrong direction,

Dee74

I don't think it's possible to live life in a perpetual state of excitement

As long as you feel secure as a non drinker, vigilant, and feel satisfied that your recovery plan is good (we get out what we put in remember?) I would try not to worry too much Matt

There no reason why you would become complacent this time unless you make the same mistakes you did last time, and that seems unlikely to me

D

Mattq2

Thanks Dee, you made me laugh😃 I think if we lived in a perpetual state of excitement it would become boring! Yeah maybe it's a good old fashion bad few days like normal people have. Been doing some posting and feel a bit better

Dee74

having a bad day is definitely part of the normal human experience
At least we have bad days now and not bad weeks months or years

D

Soberandhealthy

Yeah and at least you are not fabricating your own misery.😎

Mattq2

No life is far from miserable now. Kind of beautifully uneventful

totfit

I think for me at some point it has/had to become being more excited about experiencing things in life, than about sobriety. Sobriety just became a give for me "if" I were going to be able to continue to do the things I began doing regularly and experiencing more in life. Sobriety becomes nothing to be excited about, but more of just a "no brainer".

PhoenixJ

Normal- life is a flat plain of bring, if we are lucky- with hills of exciting stuff.

August252015

Living in recovery is my normal now. The quitting part was easy- I actually went cold turkey - I was just DONE. The growing part has been an adventure with ups and downs, and mostly ups. Learning to just ... "be OK"....has been important and necessary. Now, I think of myself mainly as a normal person who just doesn't drink, and has an "agenda" for living that maintains and enhances that life.

I've described in other threads that I think of sobriety - not "not drinking" or "alcoholism" - as my best friend. Recovery is my partner and way of life and my program (AA) guides a life better than I could have imagined.

Practically speaking, when I get blah or perhaps worried I am blase about recovery - or notice I have not been to as many meetings- I add more that week. I reach out to my sponsor more. Etc. I have been struggling with minor depression over the past few weeks, maybe a month (I am going on 10 mo sober), and also added a visit to my psych and a small dose of an anti-depressant. All of this is just to illustrate my routine and sort of "(more) reflexive vigilance." I also cut myself slack and quit overthinking things, at times

Keep going. I noticed changes at various points- 100 days was a big one, then 4-5 months, then 8- and you just have to keep going and discover what your sobriety is like.

Anna

This is so true!

FreedomCA

A large part of what keeps me sober is not just the better days I have but remembering the potential serious harm that can happen if I started drinking again...jails, institutions and death as they say. I'd rather live a boring mundane life than spend it in prison for a mistake I made while drunk.

thomas11

I'm glad to hear you are not at risk of drinking, I think that's the most important. You pose a great question, motivation is something I personally grapple with in many things. Once the shine wore off of sobriety, I had to find something new. I did it by going back to a staple of my life, my physical fitness. I bought some supplements, a few clothes, a cheap gym membership. I love it. I also fall back on reading and writing occasionally.

Mattq2

Thank you all. Very good point Thomas. I do think I need to add something new and positive to my life. Maybe the gym would be it.

thomas11

I think the most important thing is that it has to be something you enjoy. Many people hate exercise, too much work, discomfort, sweat etc....

I do it for the craziest reasons. I do it because if I work hard in the gym, everything else seems easy. Things like taking out the garbage, or shoveling the driveway are the walk in the park instead of a "chore".

Fly N Buy

Being excited for me is much different than losing motivation. My self centered nature of which drinking was foundational kept things in a state of excitement - arguments with loved ones, job issues, rampant fear/anxiety etc. Sobriety is a more sedate state of being - more serene, less self created ups and downs.

I equate losing motivation however as potentially becoming com placement in my sobriety. For me this can lead to forgetting how I got here in the first place. Daily I must make the effort to stay in fit sober condition. This of course means different things to different friends. My primary support comes from ongoing spiritual development as with many others.

Working on body , mind and spirit gives me the focus to not become complacent. Gratitude for sober health each morning keeps me motivated.

Great job on six months - that's a big deal. Well done

Aellyce

Let me start with stating that I am a huge novelty seeker (although it's becoming less with aging). I had 2 years of sobriety and the first year was full of excitement, changes and new perspectives for me. Then it was more just normal challenges of life. Then I had a couple months of relapse. Getting and staying sober after the relapse, I never felt the same kind of excitement and novelty reaction and I personally don't miss it. When it comes to being excited, I enjoy just excitement and challenges about life in general and prefer not to associate everything with sobriety or recovery. Some might suggest it's not a good attitude but I feel it's better for me than being preoccupied with sobriety all the time.

So part of the loss of excitement is probably simply a decline in the novelty factor, I think it's a very common response and not specific to sobriety at all. I personally like the phase when being sober is no longer something new and central in my life, but a default, normal way of life. I would not want to live worrying or even just thinking about recovery all the time in the long run and I don't even like very much the idea of forever being "in recovery". There are so many challenges a person has to face throughout a lifespan and while an addiction and coming out of it is definitely a major one, I prefer not to put/keep that in the center of my universe for the rest of my life and allow it to define me.

Do you have thoughts of drinking now? Or moments of nostalgia for long ago when you could drink without it causing major obstacles? If yes, it may be time to amp up some recovery tools and make changes. If not, perhaps it's just normal life? I think many of us addicts tend to crave excitement beyond what ordinary life provides, so it is certainly a process to get used to less intense highs and lows. But there are many ways to create healthy 'highs', novelty and take sensible risks without compromising recovery. Start new projects, hobbies, meet new people etc. I tend to project a lot of my novelty seeking into my work and into a love of traveling, for example. I generally find that when I stay busy with interesting things to do, I am much less likely to start thinking about self destructive substitutes.

ardy

that is so very very true.. be careful of other things that you work with .. chemicals in cleaning and repairing things.. I had a bad turn in Oct.. almost took a very bad bad path... security here at work held me tight. until my brain became my own again.. bad day very bad day... if I had been drinking like I did in the past would have been home sick to my tummy instead. but the fumes of the cleaning stuff.. hit me like a truck... You can do this kiddo for so many good reasons.. prayers and hopes for a better tomorrow..