Birthday anxiety ....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 25
Birthday anxiety ....
My birthday is Sunday and I'm having alot of anxiety about it! I'm only going to be 20 days clean from opiates and yeah I feel better then I have in the last 17 years and have no intention go back to that drug life again. I keep going back to it and I keep losing more and more I have nothing left to lose. I'm really done this time, but my birthday scares me I haven't had a sober birthday in 17 years. What do I do so I don't relapse, mind you I have NOBODY, but my fiance I've lost my kids and family during active addiction I hurt them so bad with my actions they have disowned me and told me they couldn't watch me kill myself with drugs. I have no friends all my "friends" were just drug buddies, so I've isolated myself for the last 18 days from them, for my sobriety. Any advice to get through my birthday sober? I appreciate it greatly.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
commit to not using ever again, under any circumstances, PERIOD.
your AV is using your BD as a back door option. don't allow it. have a nice dinner, watch a movie, and snuggle down early for the night. we don't have to DO anything on our birthdays....once we get past about 12, the whole "party" thing gets a little silly.
your AV is using your BD as a back door option. don't allow it. have a nice dinner, watch a movie, and snuggle down early for the night. we don't have to DO anything on our birthdays....once we get past about 12, the whole "party" thing gets a little silly.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
An addict can come up with any excuse to use..just because it is your birthday that is no excuse.
In 2013 I was sober for 4 months and during those 4 months was my 50th birthday party. Many of my drinking friends couldn't understand why I refused to have a drink to toast my 50th birthday.
In 2013 I was sober for 4 months and during those 4 months was my 50th birthday party. Many of my drinking friends couldn't understand why I refused to have a drink to toast my 50th birthday.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by fairyeyes03 
, mind you I have NOBODY, but my fiance I've lost my kids and family during active addiction I hurt them so bad with my actions they have disowned me and told me they couldn't watch me kill myself with drugs.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
First, know that nothing bad has to happen, and so nothing bad is going to happen.
Honor the day of your birth by doing something nice for yourself. Anything at all, it doesn't have to cost money.
Appreciate the quiet and the freedom and the opportunity to focus solely on you. It is YOUR day after all.
Honor the day of your birth by doing something nice for yourself. Anything at all, it doesn't have to cost money.
Appreciate the quiet and the freedom and the opportunity to focus solely on you. It is YOUR day after all.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Some of my best birthdays have been sober ones - I wasn't used to it at first but now I wouldn't have it any other way 
Recovery wise, Sunday doesn't have to be any different to any of the other 20 odd days you'll have by then - you can do this FairyEyes
D
Recovery wise, Sunday doesn't have to be any different to any of the other 20 odd days you'll have by then - you can do this FairyEyes
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
I'd only had one out of30 prior to this year and that was a long time ago too- got sent down on my 22nd birthday for drunken related brawling - the sober one this time sure as hell beat the last one.
Don't sweat it too much tho it's just another day - there's no day or no reason in this world that you have to use - none/ nothing / zero / zilch - whatever you want to call it they all equate to the same.
You're doing great - try to relax - get outdoors (weather permitting - unless you like building snowmen - location dependent) - go for a walk and just appreciate what there is around you - see it as the birth of the new and free you.
Oh and definitely cake and ice cream - that's a must !!
Don't sweat it too much tho it's just another day - there's no day or no reason in this world that you have to use - none/ nothing / zero / zilch - whatever you want to call it they all equate to the same.
You're doing great - try to relax - get outdoors (weather permitting - unless you like building snowmen - location dependent) - go for a walk and just appreciate what there is around you - see it as the birth of the new and free you.
Oh and definitely cake and ice cream - that's a must !!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 25
I guess it just gets to me, because my family hasnt acknowledged me in years on my birthday and yes I know it was my fault because my love for drugs sadly always came before everyone else. Now as I'm sober I'm realizing all the pain I've caused and all the selfish stuff I had done. Every birthday I've always wondered if they think about me at all? I've always been able to numb that pain, but this year is different I can't numb that pain.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 25
Thank you so much for all the wishes, kind words, strength, and encouragement. I MADE IT! 3 WEEKS CLEAN TODAY !!
I had a really good birthday, I don't remember the last time it was so good. I stayed in my pajamas all day, ordered Chinese, and my fiance, his son, and I played mtg all day. (Sorry that's my inner dork side lol) My oldest son who is 16 came to visit and brought me cookies (melted my heart) He said he tried getting the other boys, but there gma said no they couldn't come
All in all it was a great day and best of all I was sober!
!!I had a really good birthday, I don't remember the last time it was so good. I stayed in my pajamas all day, ordered Chinese, and my fiance, his son, and I played mtg all day. (Sorry that's my inner dork side lol) My oldest son who is 16 came to visit and brought me cookies (melted my heart) He said he tried getting the other boys, but there gma said no they couldn't come
All in all it was a great day and best of all I was sober!
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Originally Posted by fairyeyes03
I MADE IT! 3 WEEKS CLEAN TODAY !!
All in all it was a great day and best of all I was sober!
!!All in all it was a great day and best of all I was sober!
And congratulations on 3 weeks
That is the best gift!!!!!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Congratulations for making it through sober! There's no reason a birthday or any other day should be any different if you have truly committed yourself to sobriety. If anything, birthdays can be used as a celebration of sobriety. Sounds like you had a lovely day!
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