How long did they disappear before they came back?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 3
How long did they disappear before they came back?
I know it's different in every situation, but I am just curious to hear other people's stories and how their situation turned out.
My ABF and I have been friends for 7 years. Sometimes we would lose touch, but would always come back around. Even when we recently got back into contact, he has always been an open book to me. We were friends before anything. Fast forward a couple of months into our relationship, everything is going great. We had great jobs and our own apartment. He kept talking about how he wanted to get married and have children with me. And that he felt like he could finally be happy.
Well, he vanished about a month ago without saying so much as a goodbye. No break up, no huge fight, nothing. He didn't even take anything with him. I later found out that he is hopping around from house to house in his old stomping grounds, one of those houses being his horrible ex.
I just don't understand seeing how much he cared about me and would do anything to make me happy, how he could cause this much pain. And to make the situation harder, I recently found out that I am about 2 months pregnant. Most of his family hasn't heard from him. I think his mom and his brother might be hiding him. So there is a chance he might know by now.
I know the obvious thing to do would be to detach myself from him. But I can't. So I would like to hear from people who have been through a similar situation, and if the people came back or didn't.
My ABF and I have been friends for 7 years. Sometimes we would lose touch, but would always come back around. Even when we recently got back into contact, he has always been an open book to me. We were friends before anything. Fast forward a couple of months into our relationship, everything is going great. We had great jobs and our own apartment. He kept talking about how he wanted to get married and have children with me. And that he felt like he could finally be happy.
Well, he vanished about a month ago without saying so much as a goodbye. No break up, no huge fight, nothing. He didn't even take anything with him. I later found out that he is hopping around from house to house in his old stomping grounds, one of those houses being his horrible ex.
I just don't understand seeing how much he cared about me and would do anything to make me happy, how he could cause this much pain. And to make the situation harder, I recently found out that I am about 2 months pregnant. Most of his family hasn't heard from him. I think his mom and his brother might be hiding him. So there is a chance he might know by now.
I know the obvious thing to do would be to detach myself from him. But I can't. So I would like to hear from people who have been through a similar situation, and if the people came back or didn't.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR jbranom. I am sorry to hear that you are having these issue with your ABF. It's almost impossible to predict what an addict might do, so I'd recommend focusing on helping yourself and your upcoming child. He is legally responsible to provide a certain level of support too, so you may want to try to at least learn his whereabouts. There are no guarantees of anything when it comes to alchohlics, so finding a support network is crucial. You may want to check off the friends and family section here too.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 14
At a loss myself
After almost a year with my crack addicted ex who has been in recovery since the summer, I am wondering if I will ever see him again again well. We were so in love against he was so good to me then he would just disappear. When he finally got into rehab I thought we had a chance but then he withdrew from me. Now a few months later after trying everything I could to be there for him, he does not want to see me, talk to me, and he met someone else in recovery. I've been at my lowest. So hurt and confused. From what I've been through recently, I wold suggest getting to an alanon meeting, taking care of you, and pray! I am learning that we can only control ourselves. If he wants to get clean and be with you, he will make a way. Take care of yourself and your baby to be. I am trying to focus on me and my daughter. The time goes by with them being little so fast.
Originally Posted by Jbranom 
I know it's different in every situation, but I am just curious to hear other people's stories and how their situation turned out.
My ABF and I have been friends for 7 years. Sometimes we would lose touch, but would always come back around. Even when we recently got back into contact, he has always been an open book to me. We were friends before anything. Fast forward a couple of months into our relationship, everything is going great. We had great jobs and our own apartment. He kept talking about how he wanted to get married and have children with me. And that he felt like he could finally be happy.
Well, he vanished about a month ago without saying so much as a goodbye. No break up, no huge fight, nothing. He didn't even take anything with him. I later found out that he is hopping around from house to house in his old stomping grounds, one of those houses being his horrible ex.
I just don't understand seeing how much he cared about me and would do anything to make me happy, how he could cause this much pain. And to make the situation harder, I recently found out that I am about 2 months pregnant. Most of his family hasn't heard from him. I think his mom and his brother might be hiding him. So there is a chance he might know by now.
I know the obvious thing to do would be to detach myself from him. But I can't. So I would like to hear from people who have been through a similar situation, and if the people came back or didn't.
My ABF and I have been friends for 7 years. Sometimes we would lose touch, but would always come back around. Even when we recently got back into contact, he has always been an open book to me. We were friends before anything. Fast forward a couple of months into our relationship, everything is going great. We had great jobs and our own apartment. He kept talking about how he wanted to get married and have children with me. And that he felt like he could finally be happy.
Well, he vanished about a month ago without saying so much as a goodbye. No break up, no huge fight, nothing. He didn't even take anything with him. I later found out that he is hopping around from house to house in his old stomping grounds, one of those houses being his horrible ex.
I just don't understand seeing how much he cared about me and would do anything to make me happy, how he could cause this much pain. And to make the situation harder, I recently found out that I am about 2 months pregnant. Most of his family hasn't heard from him. I think his mom and his brother might be hiding him. So there is a chance he might know by now.
I know the obvious thing to do would be to detach myself from him. But I can't. So I would like to hear from people who have been through a similar situation, and if the people came back or didn't.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Welcome to SR jbranom. I am sorry to hear that you are having these issue with your ABF. It's almost impossible to predict what an addict might do, so I'd recommend focusing on helping yourself and your upcoming child. He is legally responsible to provide a certain level of support too, so you may want to try to at least learn his whereabouts. There are no guarantees of anything when it comes to alchohlics, so finding a support network is crucial. You may want to check off the friends and family section here too.
Thank you Scott. I have tried asking his mom and brother where he is at, but their stories keep changing. And trying to keep up with their lies was causing more stress than anything. I'm trying to take things day by day.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 13
i hear you
Addict is so unpredictable. I was trying to be there for my ex even after we break up and after he showed me all those pic he has with girls. I just want to be there for him when he need help, but he will just push me away and come back and talk etc. What i have learned and tried to understand is, our life probably better without them. You could love a person so much but sometimes its better for them to stay away from us. Its just not meant to be, I am still recovering myself too. Take care
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by katmandoodle
After almost a year with my crack addicted ex who has been in recovery since the summer, I am wondering if I will ever see him again again well. We were so in love against he was so good to me then he would just disappear. When he finally got into rehab I thought we had a chance but then he withdrew from me. Now a few months later after trying everything I could to be there for him, he does not want to see me, talk to me, and he met someone else in recovery. I've been at my lowest. So hurt and confused. From what I've been through recently, I wold suggest getting to an alanon meeting, taking care of you, and pray! I am learning that we can only control ourselves. If he wants to get clean and be with you, he will make a way. Take care of yourself and your baby to be. I am trying to focus on me and my daughter. The time goes by with them being little so fast.
I hope your situation gets better. And that your ex comes to his senses. But at least find some peace in the fact that he is in rehab. I will pray for your family!
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
If he weren't using, he would be so excited about me being pregnant.
maybe........and maybe not. the thing is, he DID leave you. he did just up and take off. and it sounds like that has been his MO over the time you've know him.....which means he's likely to continue that pattern of behavior.
right now, your family is growing inside you. you and your precious baby are all that matters. stick close with those who love you and support you.
maybe........and maybe not. the thing is, he DID leave you. he did just up and take off. and it sounds like that has been his MO over the time you've know him.....which means he's likely to continue that pattern of behavior.
right now, your family is growing inside you. you and your precious baby are all that matters. stick close with those who love you and support you.
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