The AV is my Enemy Weekender 08-11 Dec 2016
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The AV is my Enemy Weekender 08-11 Dec 2016
To The Weekender Thread for
08-11 December 2016
Hi and welcome to the Weekender Thread!
This is a place where anyone and everyone can come for support - especially over the weekend - but also right through the coming week as well.
All you have to do to join is post - we'd love to see you come aboard :
____________________
This is a rough time of year for many SR members - lots of parties, and social gatherings, and lots of opportunities being made available to drink.
Don't mind saying I'm already angry at the number of people the AV has pulled down recently - not the people themselves but addiction - so I'd like to dedicate this weeks thread to the newcomers, or those struggling.
If there's one thing I can pass on this week it's that
the AV lies...always.
It will never give you a good idea.
The AV is a parasite, but not an intelligent one....unlike other parasites it won't leave the host alive to feed some more...it'll just keep 'feeding' until we're dead.
But... while it's not intelligent it is cunning.
One of our members introduced me to the concept of Euphoric Recall (thanks Kiki)
Euphoric recall is a psychological term for the tendency of people to remember past experiences in a positive light, while overlooking negative experiences associated with that event(s).
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5716375
How many of us have done a Homer like this?
We can beat it though.
The AV has no arms no legs no mouth.
It needs us to go get the booze, carry it home, open it and drink it.
If we refuse at any of those points there's not a damn thing the AV can do about it...
We have the power
If you're not sure you have the power, post and let us help convince you!
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 184
Thanks Dee. Great post 
Giving tomorrow another shot at day 1. Right now my plan is to drop my daughter off at preschool, take a walk, and then come home and soak in the tub. I also thought that I would stop at the store and pick up a binder to start my recovery plan. Normally, I would drop my daughter off and come home and finish whatever wine is in the fridge to help the blahs from withdrawal... I'm so sick of this....the AV thing has really been on my mind and everytime I think about trying to stop, just for a day, the non-stop internal talking won't give up. All the fear and reasons that I can't stop drinking...
There have been a lot of posts over the last few hours that have really hit home with that feeling of not being able to stay accountable to not drink, even to yourself. It feels like you're helpless, sometimes.
Anyway, I'd like to join. I really need this. And will be here a lot over the next few days. Even if I'm just lurking. But hopefully, I'll be posting
lol Thanks again, Dee.
Giving tomorrow another shot at day 1. Right now my plan is to drop my daughter off at preschool, take a walk, and then come home and soak in the tub. I also thought that I would stop at the store and pick up a binder to start my recovery plan. Normally, I would drop my daughter off and come home and finish whatever wine is in the fridge to help the blahs from withdrawal... I'm so sick of this....the AV thing has really been on my mind and everytime I think about trying to stop, just for a day, the non-stop internal talking won't give up. All the fear and reasons that I can't stop drinking...
There have been a lot of posts over the last few hours that have really hit home with that feeling of not being able to stay accountable to not drink, even to yourself. It feels like you're helpless, sometimes.
Anyway, I'd like to join. I really need this. And will be here a lot over the next few days. Even if I'm just lurking. But hopefully, I'll be posting
lol Thanks again, Dee.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Excellent post, Dee.
The holidays are rough.
So often--almost constantly--our AV nags and nags, telling us flagrant lies that seem completely true--but they are like a mirage in the desert.
Perhaps we cave in. Although the first few gulps may seem like a relief for our mind and body, that good feeling vanishes quickly.
Horrible hangovers, bewilderment, shame, and dread of what horrors we might have wrought attack us the moment we're done.
But once we do pick up, there's no guarantee that we're done. Once we let our resolve down, even if it's just a bit ("just one"), the nagging voice shrieks louder the next time.
So please resist the urge to pick up at all. Keep yourself safe. Make a plan and use your tools.
Stay here for a lifeline when the temptations are at their worst. We'll be (at least some of) the "relational accountability" that Kiki's article recommends.
Hang on to your sobriety by your fingernails!
You can resist, every single time--no matter how futile the voice tells you it is. That's a lie! It's a trap!
Post as much as you need to-- even if it's every five seconds!
We're your allies!
The holidays are rough.
So often--almost constantly--our AV nags and nags, telling us flagrant lies that seem completely true--but they are like a mirage in the desert.
Perhaps we cave in. Although the first few gulps may seem like a relief for our mind and body, that good feeling vanishes quickly.
Horrible hangovers, bewilderment, shame, and dread of what horrors we might have wrought attack us the moment we're done.
But once we do pick up, there's no guarantee that we're done. Once we let our resolve down, even if it's just a bit ("just one"), the nagging voice shrieks louder the next time.
So please resist the urge to pick up at all. Keep yourself safe. Make a plan and use your tools.
Stay here for a lifeline when the temptations are at their worst. We'll be (at least some of) the "relational accountability" that Kiki's article recommends.
Hang on to your sobriety by your fingernails!
You can resist, every single time--no matter how futile the voice tells you it is. That's a lie! It's a trap!
Post as much as you need to-- even if it's every five seconds!
We're your allies!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 184
Hi Gilmer
You're so right about that one drink thing. I keep thinking I can just have one and all will be well. How many times have I done that?...have we all probably done that? Only recently have I really been thinking that enough is enough and I just can't drink. Ever.
A relieving thought, and a scary thought at the same time.
You're so right about that one drink thing. I keep thinking I can just have one and all will be well. How many times have I done that?...have we all probably done that? Only recently have I really been thinking that enough is enough and I just can't drink. Ever.
A relieving thought, and a scary thought at the same time.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
It gets easier.
Although it may be true that just one slip weakens us and opens us up for more, the converse is also true: with every time we resist--every small victory we win--it strengthens us and emboldens us to keep on resisting.
Although it may be true that just one slip weakens us and opens us up for more, the converse is also true: with every time we resist--every small victory we win--it strengthens us and emboldens us to keep on resisting.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Cheers Dee - that's definitely something that has stuck with me since Kiki posted that, it has also popped up out of the blue a couple of times over the past 2 nights to be honest after many weeks / months even of complete silence.
Fact is that with time there's a realisation that any of the euphoria was just an illusion and not the true you that invetably led to the problems getting worse.
Real euphoria is definitely attainable in sobriety given time and effort and sticking with it / ignoring the AV at all cost - nothing and I repeat nothing involving drugs or alcohol are a remotely good idea no matter what memories you may play out - play it right the way through to the bitter end and realise what brought you here, that's the past tho and the future can be a much better and calmer one most definitely if you give sobriety a real chance with a plan that you stick to and work too, as Dee has said many times none of us would stick with it if it didn't work and wasn't a more enjoyable way of living your life.
Have a good weekend everyone.
Fact is that with time there's a realisation that any of the euphoria was just an illusion and not the true you that invetably led to the problems getting worse.
Real euphoria is definitely attainable in sobriety given time and effort and sticking with it / ignoring the AV at all cost - nothing and I repeat nothing involving drugs or alcohol are a remotely good idea no matter what memories you may play out - play it right the way through to the bitter end and realise what brought you here, that's the past tho and the future can be a much better and calmer one most definitely if you give sobriety a real chance with a plan that you stick to and work too, as Dee has said many times none of us would stick with it if it didn't work and wasn't a more enjoyable way of living your life.
Have a good weekend everyone.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Great post Dee! Thank you
Gilmer, I laughed so hard when I saw your shotgun post, congratulations!
I think it's probably due to how I ended up quitting this time but I no longer have euphoric recall. Probably because all possibility to think that alcohol will ever be for me has been effectively removed. That, and I've now built a life that is so good and could be ruined by one drink. I understand this now.
If it helps here's also part of what I started doing. There was a point in time where a saying was going around. If you verbalized something negative about yourself someone would say "now say something nice about yourself". Meant to quickly replace a negative thought with a positive.
Well, when your head begins to go down the path of euphoric recall quickly replace it with the reality of the outcome when you drank. If you do it enough it will begin happening automatically.
It takes some practice but you can actually make yourself hate alcohol. I'm there.
Stick close to SR. This place is monumental in getting your head back on track.
Had to edit this and add re the Homer clip. How many cringed like I did when they saw the look on his face when Marge asked him if he remembered what happened the prior evening? That's a feeling I know all too well. So grateful I never have to feel that way again!
Gilmer, I laughed so hard when I saw your shotgun post, congratulations!
I think it's probably due to how I ended up quitting this time but I no longer have euphoric recall. Probably because all possibility to think that alcohol will ever be for me has been effectively removed. That, and I've now built a life that is so good and could be ruined by one drink. I understand this now.
If it helps here's also part of what I started doing. There was a point in time where a saying was going around. If you verbalized something negative about yourself someone would say "now say something nice about yourself". Meant to quickly replace a negative thought with a positive.
Well, when your head begins to go down the path of euphoric recall quickly replace it with the reality of the outcome when you drank. If you do it enough it will begin happening automatically.
It takes some practice but you can actually make yourself hate alcohol. I'm there.
Stick close to SR. This place is monumental in getting your head back on track.
Had to edit this and add re the Homer clip. How many cringed like I did when they saw the look on his face when Marge asked him if he remembered what happened the prior evening? That's a feeling I know all too well. So grateful I never have to feel that way again!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Great post Kiki, D I laughed hard at the video clip .. I'm a big advocate of not romancing drinking whatsoever if anything it's always disaster recall I don't look back at any time in my life when I was drinking and think I miss those days I really don't & I hope everyone sees why romancing alcohol is so dangerous it's not romantic it's destructive
If anyone feels like thier AV is getting more vocal then reach out there is no shame in doing so whether it's here or pm reach out you don't have to do this alone
With that being said & what D said about we have the power kind of think of it like this
Have a great day everyone
If anyone feels like thier AV is getting more vocal then reach out there is no shame in doing so whether it's here or pm reach out you don't have to do this alone
With that being said & what D said about we have the power kind of think of it like this
Have a great day everyone
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
So much greatness in the OP. Well done, Dee74.
I find the thought of never drinking again relieving. My AV finds it terrifying.
After all the grief that SOB put me through, the little bugger can just be terrified. It tried to ruin my life. It is a liar and a thief. It would kill me if I let it. I owe it no comfort.
It matters not how strait the gate
How charged with punishment the scroll
I am the Master of my fate
I am the Captain of my soul
Have a great weekend y'all!
Originally Posted by Ambuler 
A relieving thought, and a scary thought at the same time.
After all the grief that SOB put me through, the little bugger can just be terrified. It tried to ruin my life. It is a liar and a thief. It would kill me if I let it. I owe it no comfort.
It matters not how strait the gate
How charged with punishment the scroll
I am the Master of my fate
I am the Captain of my soul
Have a great weekend y'all!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Thanks Dee. I was just thinking about how, when I read threads about people's relapses, I tend not to 'emotionally' engage. I'm not really sure what I'm saying but its something I've just noticed. I read it, I think 'Geez, that sucks' but I detach somehow. And its not because I'm so upset I need to detach to protect myself, its because, I think, my addiction doesn't want me to say to myself 'that will be you if you drink again'. When they say 'don't do it, its not worth it' I find myself quietly thinking 'not you'. Its weird. Its not a loud screaming voice, and I'm by no means any where near drinking. I just had to ask myself, why after reading so many posts about relapse, after experiencing the horror of my own relapses, after hearing the same song in AA, over and over, do I still relapse?
So when I read posts about relapse now, rather than think 'how can I help this person?' I'm going to first think 'that WILL be you, probably worse, if you ever drink again'. I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this exactly. Just that I need to have recall, on that visceral level, of my relapses...or something.
Anyway, have a great day.
So when I read posts about relapse now, rather than think 'how can I help this person?' I'm going to first think 'that WILL be you, probably worse, if you ever drink again'. I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this exactly. Just that I need to have recall, on that visceral level, of my relapses...or something.
Anyway, have a great day.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
My AV sometimes tells me I'm recovered now, after two years. Recovered, so I should be able to drink again. I tell that voice in my head to go jump off a steep cliff and crash into the rocks below. There's no such thing as recovered. I have seen first hand what happens to people who have the illusion that they are stronger than alcohol after a prolonged period of sobriety. Almost all of them crash and burn - and pretty quickly.
I can truly say I hate alcohol now. Like FreeOwl, I have little to no euphoric recall. The circumstances surrounding my last night of drinking are still fresh in my mind, and I hope they always are. I never want to forget the feeling of being truly and utterly ashamed and defeated - knowing my life was changing forever in that moment. At the same time, I knew deep down I'd never drink again, and that was a relief.
So when the AV comes knocking, I play the tape of that night, and others like it, and any desire to go down that road again promptly vanishes.
I can truly say I hate alcohol now. Like FreeOwl, I have little to no euphoric recall. The circumstances surrounding my last night of drinking are still fresh in my mind, and I hope they always are. I never want to forget the feeling of being truly and utterly ashamed and defeated - knowing my life was changing forever in that moment. At the same time, I knew deep down I'd never drink again, and that was a relief.
So when the AV comes knocking, I play the tape of that night, and others like it, and any desire to go down that road again promptly vanishes.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I still have euphoric recall. Romanticising the times when drinking was still fun. Once in a while I'll get a niggling urge to repeat the experience but I recognize it for the lie it is and work to distract myself.
I don't hate alcohol but I hate what it does to me. Other people can drink responsibly. I can't. I don't think I ever did. Thinking back over my life, I don't think one was ever enough from my first drink.
If you feel you're in dangerous territory, read and post. Reach out in real life. Eat ice cream.
I don't hate alcohol but I hate what it does to me. Other people can drink responsibly. I can't. I don't think I ever did. Thinking back over my life, I don't think one was ever enough from my first drink.
If you feel you're in dangerous territory, read and post. Reach out in real life. Eat ice cream.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, weekenders.
Great intro, Dee.
I am too tired for a long post right now , so I will just second it - AV ALWAYS LIES. Whatever "logical reasoning" it gives you - it's a lie. Just remember it and repeat like protection from evil forces "AV always lies. AV always lies".
I've had the worst day at work in years. I needed some paperwork to be signed by some "Big Dog". Pure redtape. He was in a very bad mood. So he decided he could play it off on me. He asked questions that were hardly relevant and then called me no less then incompetent. Any attempt to reason with him crashed against his prejudice and narrow-mindedness. I don't remember last time I felt so humiliated.
I don't believe that everything happens for a reason - some things have rhyme, reason or whatever rather than somebody's toxicity spilling over to people around.
But it got me angry. In a good sense - kicking me out of complacency zone into fighting mode.
Sorry for the rant.
Hope everyone is having a good Thursday.
Great intro, Dee.
I am too tired for a long post right now , so I will just second it - AV ALWAYS LIES. Whatever "logical reasoning" it gives you - it's a lie. Just remember it and repeat like protection from evil forces "AV always lies. AV always lies".
I've had the worst day at work in years. I needed some paperwork to be signed by some "Big Dog". Pure redtape. He was in a very bad mood. So he decided he could play it off on me. He asked questions that were hardly relevant and then called me no less then incompetent. Any attempt to reason with him crashed against his prejudice and narrow-mindedness. I don't remember last time I felt so humiliated.
I don't believe that everything happens for a reason - some things have rhyme, reason or whatever rather than somebody's toxicity spilling over to people around.
But it got me angry. In a good sense - kicking me out of complacency zone into fighting mode.
Sorry for the rant.
Hope everyone is having a good Thursday.
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