FreeOwl

All a pack of lies.

You'll be way, way cooler.

You'll actually have fun. And remember it. Even cherish it.

And you'll find a deeper connection with people, and be liked for more intimate and sincere reasons than you ever knew possible.

Don't buy the lie.

Sobriety is awesome.

suki44883

Someone should inform whomever told you that, that there are millions and millions of people who do not drink alcohol and they live happy, wonderful lives, have loads of fun, and have a lot of friends.

FreeOwl

Exactly.

FreeOwl

Nobody told me that.....

Except my own addictions.

For many years.

Nowsthetime

I believe this sooooo much!!!

Thank you for putting it so clearly for all.

A few years ago a couple friends of mine got engaged. I looked forward to the wedding for months, months! At the wedding I drank before church and by the time I got to the party I was too drunk and I had to leave. I didn't get to enjoy the wedding at all!!!

I'm still disappointed I missed it.

I have so much fun now and no regrets or hangovers.

thomas11

I will say that I think it is significantly tougher for younger folks to break free from an alcohol infused world. And the ones who break free from the peer pressure and live their sober lives deserve their due respect.

Once we get older, alcohol and the word "cool" don't seem to be as compatible. Its just not cool to "over drink". Far be it for me to be a social snob, believe me I'm not. Just my opinion.

I've mentioned before that I think folks who are able to resist consuming alcohol at social functions may feel awkward and leave early, but when their gone, I suspect a handful of people at the gathering wished they could leave and earned some respect for the ones who left.

madgirl

I love how you seek to inspire and excite people about sober life, Free Owl.

Somewhere there is a thread about the bad branding of the word "sober" - implies serious (sober as a judge), boring, possibly uptight.

Better descriptors? Peaceful. Powerful. Joyful. Interested in others. Awake. Aware. Healthy.

Nowsthetime

One of the first things I read here was something about sobriety being sexy and cool...

That thread I read as a newcomer really inspired and shaped my sobriety to be something to be embraced.

I love being sober. I feel so cool.

pooky

Sober is the new cool

waywardson8260

I agree- sober IS cool!!!

shortstop81

I'm at an age where being 'cool' is the furthest thing from my mind.

Besides, I know for a fact I'm far more enjoyable to be around when I'm not intoxicated.

MLD51

My addiction told me I'd have no life after I got sober. No social life, no fun, no parties, no friends. Not. True. Have I lost a few friends? Yes. But they weren't true friends. Just people I drank with. I have made new friends, and they are sober, stable, reliable friends who truly have my back. My idea of fun is different now, too. I find happiness in simple, meaningful activities now. And I still go to parties - just don't drink and leave early so I can go home, get a good night's sleep, and wake up ready to face a new day with no hangover or regrets.My social life is different, but so much better. Real connections with people, not the same drunk conversations over and over again. It's fantastic.

BringingBackB

I'll be honest and say getting past this is something I really struggle with.

I'm 24, and my small group of friends social lives often revolves around alcohol outings. Ive also dated a couple of girls who binned me off as soo n as they found out i wouldnt go for 'drinks' with them. But that says more about them than me i guess. I need to work on finding some friends who differ from this if I'm going to beat this thing.

FreeOwl

yep.... it's a real thing. It's a real challenge. Especially in the younger years when it's generally more common that alcohol is interwoven with.... well, everything.

But even among the youth, there are many people who don't drink. There are whole movements of it these days, in fact. It becomes a matter of needing to take it personally on board to find another way. I'm sure it took me until my 40's to finally get it in large part BECAUSE 'everyone' was drinking and drugging. In hindsight... the more honest statement was "everyone I CHOSE TO BE MY PEER GROUP" was doing it. On the occasions I crossed paths with sober people, I felt uncomfortable and avoided them. Labeled them 'uncool' in my mind..... which tells me something; it was probably MY MIND all along.

I believe you can absolutely make a choice to live sober and find others who live either sober or very rarely drink or drink in very moderate ways. It comes down to making that decision and supporting that decision with action.

PurpleKnight

Very true FreeOwl!!

BringingBackB

Thank you FreeOwl. Your post has really helped me tonight

FreeOwl

you're welcome.

Funny you're from Newcastle. There was a period of life that I drank Newcastle Brown almost exclusively. Because, damn.... it was cool.

I couldn't even consider just having a nice sparkling water. A beer from Newcastle. Something fancy. That was booze. That was cooler. Gimme that wow factor.

hahahah...... ahhhh, thanks for that flashback. So many ridiculous memories of alcohol.

I had a lovely trip to the Old Smoke a couple years ago. I was in London for St. Paddy's Day. The place was blowing up. Drunks all over the place. I took a 10 mile run through the city. Met up for lunch with a friend along my run route. He happened to check in to a restaurant on facebook while I was running. Didn't know he was even in town.

Anyway... point there is that here I was, on a trip to London. On one of the biggest "Drink and be cool" days of the year, and I was sober. And I felt cool as hell for it. Cool, redefined. Cool, healthy, happy, present, aware, alive.

That was so cool.

BringingBackB

Haha Brown Ale! We call it Dog up here (not entirely sure why). It's hugely popular in the states now I believe, I imagine it must be seen as exotic. I always found it bloody awful!

I think your anecdote describes your point perfectly. It can be done, and I even have done on some occasions. It's just that acceptance that drink is no longer an option on the table. That's the key.

FreeOwl

yeah it was definitely 'exotic' for a time back in the late nineties as it was first rather new here. now it's kind of just another mass option, lol.

as for your last comment - I found it an empowering shift to stop thinking of it as 'not an option on the table' and rather as 'an option I no longer want'.

At first that was forced. But over time, and now consistently, it's real. It always IS an option. We all have an option each and every day to go pick up booze and get right back onto it. That option is a reality in our world. I found the battle of "NOT AN OPTION" or the reasoning "I CAN'T" to be discouraging and a struggle. So I tested out "I DON'T WANT THAT OPTION". And "That option isn't consistent with what I want out of life"..... and that shift made a really big difference for me.

BringingBackB

Thanks again FreeOwl for sharing your wisdom!

Your point sounds quite a bit like the SMART ideologies I have been reading about / getting back into, and a valuable one at that.I remember someone saying something similar at a smart meeting once. It certainly seems a more positive way to think about it from the way I have been. Thanks again