Soberwolf

When you’re 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; when you 40, you don’t give a darn what anybody thinks of you; when you’re 60, you realize nobody’s been thinking about you at all.

This is a short but really useful paragraph from Dr Daniel Amen

(Thank you Anna for introducing me to his work)

MLD51

I still cared at 40. Actually still at 50. I'm a slow learner.
But now, sober, I have more confidence and I just try to do my thing and not care who's watching. And I'm realizing that really, not many people are watching anyway. Most people are too busy worrying about what other people think of them.

Midwest1981

Thanks Soberwolf...

I have been working on this all week and I am getting better about it.

Aellyce

For me it's funny because I'm kinda backwards. When I was young, I cared very little about what others thought about me, my choices and my actions. As I age, I am learning to appreciate people's feedback and advice more and more instead of making every friggin' decision on my own, meaning sometimes unnecessary risk taking. Also, becoming more attentive to others' feelings and opinions rather than dismissing them just so that I can do as I please provides levels of connection that I very much need but tended to deny when I was younger. But like the process in the OP, mine (learning to be less individualistic) is also a continuous learning curve, a very rewarding one

PurpleKnight

Great post Wolf!!

entropy1964

At 40 I still cared. Now I could care less.....and its fabulous! Watching my teen daughter is often so painful. I try to tell her 'hey, don't sweat it, everyone else is too worried about themselves to even think about anyone else' but it falls mostly on deaf ears. I guess its just what most of us have to go through. She's very smart and pretty confident but still has to learn this one on her own.

JamesfrmEngland

I'm almost 30 but care less than I did when younger. Never imagined being 30 and don't like getting older. Always said when my parents die I'll kil myself.

Dee74

If you feel this way I hope you'll talk to someone professionally, or at least ring a crisis number when you need it, James.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

D

Gonnachange

Most importantly, James please follow Dee's advice.

As for the title of this thread, none of it resonates personally. The comments about 18 and 40 don't apply because I chose my own path early on and as I'm approaching 60 if I thought that nobody was thinking about me it would be devastating. Overarching statements such as the title, while true for some folks are rarely universally true yet make for good headlines.

The author is prolific with his writings and a brief review of his body of work suggests to me that it's controversial amongst his peers, not necessarily a bad thing, and he's very good about publishing new and completely revised editions to previous books which to me smells like his agenda is closer to increasing sales than truly helping people.

Soberwolf

Daniel Amen's Ted Talk

Nowsthetime

Just watched it.

Really interesting!

Thanks for posting it.

BrendaChenowyth

Yo, I'm 31 and I understand that people are self-absorbed and not worried about what I'm doin. I love being over my narcissism.

I sincerely doubt it takes until you are 60 to get that.. another life time of what I've gone through with my eyes closed? No thanks.