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Trying to stay strong

Old 12-05-2016, 12:03 PM
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Trying to stay strong

I've been sober for ages but my 44th birthday is in a few few days-didn't think I'd be unmarried and childless at this age. Anniversary of my dads death from Alzheimer's and a friend whi was murdered are really playing on my mind. I've had Councelling and much better but can't sle p for the bad thoughts and memories. Determined to stay sober-but I need support. Looking forward to Christmas but at the same time you remember and remembering is not always good. Please pray I stay strong. I don't want to go back to the abis. Xx
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Old 12-05-2016, 12:17 PM
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Hello looking, thankyou for sharing. Good stuff reaching out to connect when you are feeling stuff. Christmas is a stress time for me this year. Not the place to go into stuff, because I am here to support you. But I am alone and without family. Sober too- so doing ok. Xmas brings back memories, times long gone and the 'if only this happened' and grief for people, places and moments gone. I am sure you know all of this and the triggers that lead to drinking.
How to reconcile the past? Do not have an answer there except to say I do empathise. Life does not always go as we plan. All I can do is change that which is in my ability to change. I am lonely so am working on establishing new friends- naturally (if that makes sense). Keep posting and sharing. All my prayers to you. PJ
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Old 12-05-2016, 12:26 PM
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Hello, 'looking',
I will be praying for you. I never ever thought my life would turn out like it has. So many dreams and hopes that I had when I was younger never did come true. Sometimes I think if I would never had touched alcohol back in college that my life would of been more focused. So here I am beginning a new sober chapter for 2017. I pray that I will finally stay sober and do the things I have so much potential to do. Blessings♡CR
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Old 12-05-2016, 12:39 PM
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Good of you to recognize you need help and to reach out for it.

Originally Posted by Lookingforchange View Post
I've been sober for ages...
Actually not that long. This isn't to call you out, but to point out that you are still vulnerable. Without a strong foundation of recovery, this is a particularly tough time for you. I hope you can remain strong. Support is key. If SR isn't enough, is there anyone who can support you face-to-face?
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Old 12-05-2016, 01:18 PM
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praying for you lookingforchange

God bless

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Old 12-05-2016, 01:23 PM
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I was diagnosed stage 3 melanoma in recovery.
was my mothers caregiver9 she had dementia) until she dies in 2013.
had a friend commit suicide.
another die in a car crash.
a few other events here and there along the journey.
49 and single. never married.

I got THROUGH everything sober by not using ANYTHING as an excuse to drink and a lot of support.. THAT took courage.

there are support forums for everything online, if not f2f.
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Old 12-05-2016, 03:14 PM
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Very sorry to hear of everything you've had to go through Lookingforchange!!

Keep pushing through, SR is in your corner!!
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Old 12-05-2016, 05:54 PM
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Hello looking,
I wish you were feeling better, you have been through a lot. I know things will get better in time. For me it seams the bad days eventually lead to really good things in my life. I hope it does for you too
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Old 12-05-2016, 07:19 PM
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LFC,

Booze is highly addictive (for life), it is legal, relatively cheap, and woven into our societies.

Those of us that take it too far try and quit. That is a good thing. Because trying leads to clean days, weeks, months, and years clean. This is good for our bodies and minds.

Living clean is how we were designed to live. It takes time to normalize. The shine of sobriety wore off a bit after a few months, but this site gave me what I needed to know not to drink again.

That is the key. Get through the physical, then use your analytical power (gained from this site) to learn happiness sober.

I can't stress enough how amazing sobriety is. Living life now clean and confident is liberating. I used to shy away from so many issues because I was a drunk. That is not the case any more.

Stay clean. I just gets better.

Alcohol is a gov't sanctioned toxin. The gov't makes money on it from the first bottle we buy, through our detox efforts, to the taxes on the early tombstone our insurance money buys.

Don't believe the hype.
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Old 12-05-2016, 07:59 PM
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Hi LFC. We have quite a few similarities. I am 45 years old single and childless and my Father passed away 2 1/2 years ago. Looking back to my twenties I would have never thought I would be were I am at today as I always imagined being married forever and having kids.

However, I hope this helps. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and I have started to look at my situation as an opportunity people who are married with children may not have. I'm not saying that being single and childless is better, but it does have some advantages not just dis-advantages.
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Old 12-05-2016, 08:47 PM
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I'm sorry things are so difficult right now. It's wonderful that you are sober for such a long time. 44 is very young, of course since I am going to be 46 in about a week and I refuse to think I am anything other than young.

Sending some positive thoughts and virtual hugs your way.

❤️ Delilah
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Old 12-31-2016, 01:20 PM
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Sorry this is so rediculously late. Thank you for all the replies. I did stay strong( I slept and worked a lot to switch off!). I reached out to a friend in AA and got more support also. I'm in a much better place now. Had tee total tea with family Christmas Day and today and went to the cinema with a friend today too. In bed now reading to have a peaceful entry to the new year. I believe 2017 will be a great. I hope the new year is a great one for all of you. X
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Old 12-31-2016, 01:31 PM
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I'm glad to hear you're feeling better and that you reached out for help when you needed it. I'm sure 2017 will be a good one for you.
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Old 12-31-2016, 06:14 PM
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I'm really glad you stayed strong! Happy New Year Lookingforchange

D
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