New me, new beginning.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 22
New me, new beginning.
Hi everyone,
Yesterday I decided enough is enough,I want my life back, alcohol has controlled my life for over 20years. I drank 3 bottles of wine 2 days ago aswell as half a bottle of spirits, needless to say I felt like I was going to die the following day! My hangover was so bad! My hangovers have been really worrying lately, violently sick, really bad stomach aches, shaking, sweating,hallucinations, i cant bare feel like this anymore, i guess my 20 years of being a party girl has finally caught up on me!
I have found myself in some of the worst situations whist being intoxicated, the immense guilt I carry around on a daily basis from my drunken antics is dragging me down, this is one of the main reasons why I get so drunk to block out the memories
Anyway I don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore,i cant change the past but I'm 100% determined to change the future.
I have the most beautiful little boy who deserves to have the best mummy ever. Im doing this for us, hes seen enough already, my child hood wasn't great, always feeling scared, watching my parents always drunk and fighting, i dont want my son to remember his child hood in the same way I do.
for reading my post.x
Yesterday I decided enough is enough,I want my life back, alcohol has controlled my life for over 20years. I drank 3 bottles of wine 2 days ago aswell as half a bottle of spirits, needless to say I felt like I was going to die the following day! My hangover was so bad! My hangovers have been really worrying lately, violently sick, really bad stomach aches, shaking, sweating,hallucinations, i cant bare feel like this anymore, i guess my 20 years of being a party girl has finally caught up on me!
I have found myself in some of the worst situations whist being intoxicated, the immense guilt I carry around on a daily basis from my drunken antics is dragging me down, this is one of the main reasons why I get so drunk to block out the memories
Anyway I don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore,i cant change the past but I'm 100% determined to change the future.
I have the most beautiful little boy who deserves to have the best mummy ever. Im doing this for us, hes seen enough already, my child hood wasn't great, always feeling scared, watching my parents always drunk and fighting, i dont want my son to remember his child hood in the same way I do.
for reading my post.x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Welcome Legolady
Well I could have written your post. You sound like you're ready to change.
Not drinking is the first very important, and difficult step. But staying stopped is a little more tricky. Read around in the sub forums at some of the different programs folks here use. People will ask what your 'plan' is. I believe there are some threads on this topic if you do a search.
Good luck.
Well I could have written your post. You sound like you're ready to change.
Not drinking is the first very important, and difficult step. But staying stopped is a little more tricky. Read around in the sub forums at some of the different programs folks here use. People will ask what your 'plan' is. I believe there are some threads on this topic if you do a search.
Good luck.
Welcome, Legolady!
After a few days of discomfort, you'll find that being sober is much easier than drinking. There is plenty of support here at SoberRecovery, and there is probably an AA meeting soon near you. Read around and post often--it works if you work it!
After a few days of discomfort, you'll find that being sober is much easier than drinking. There is plenty of support here at SoberRecovery, and there is probably an AA meeting soon near you. Read around and post often--it works if you work it!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 122
Hi LegoLady!
Like you, wanting something better for my son was a major motivator for me to find sobriety. However, I've found that not drinking has helped me become better in so many other ways as well.
It can be challenging, but stick with it and find a plan or program that works for you!
Happy to have you here
Like you, wanting something better for my son was a major motivator for me to find sobriety. However, I've found that not drinking has helped me become better in so many other ways as well.
It can be challenging, but stick with it and find a plan or program that works for you!
Happy to have you here
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 22
Thank you for your replies, i appreciate your support and advice. I have felt really rubbish today, hence the reason for joining SR. I definitely can't do this on my own, I know that within myself, already in the short space of time I have been on here i feel a little more positive, i am away to order some self help books, would yous happen to have any recommendations? Thank you.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 22
I haven't seen the doctor (yet) I'm not ruling it out,I would just like to try doing this myself, i know it's not going to be easy,I tried 2 years ago, and lasted 6 weeks. my little boy is so aware of my drinking now, the poor soul has even rubbed my back when I have been throwing up, it's so upsetting and embarrassing typing thay, I must sound like such a terrible mummy.
Legolady, be kind to yourself today. It's so easy to get caught up in the cycle of drinking/feeling ashamed/drinking to numb the shame. Use the negative feelings to propel you forward in your recovery, but don't allow them to drag you back down. It sounds like you're ready to be the Mom and the person you know you can be, and we are here for you.
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