Company Christmas Party
Sober-T- Dragon
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,756
Company Christmas Party
Went to my first company 'Festive Season' party since calling it quits October 17th. Wife and discussed our plan ahead of time and I told two co-workers who would be sitting at the same table that I don't drink.
One of those people I've known as a friend for a few years and was on a business / team building trip with him. I have respect for him and based on last night he obviously has respect for my wishes to not drink and even helped with a little reinforcement.
The other, I've worked very closely with for 28 years. We know each other fairly well and have seen each other grow and change thru life. He knows I loved my beer. Not the true extent of my drinking but we've drank together plenty of times. He is a good and honest person.
He was the one I had the most problem with, several times he offered to by me drinks or pour some wine or have a shooter. I had to reinforce my position with him. After awhile he did give up.
One other person - who was not a co-worker - started asking personal questions. When did I stop, how much did I drink, why did I stop. I wasn't prepared for that and didn't want to answer those types of questions. They quickly got the idea from my vague responses and stopped.
Other than that, the night was good. Nice meal, danced with my wife , talked with other couples and left around 10:30. I was proud to leave sober and drive home.
One of those people I've known as a friend for a few years and was on a business / team building trip with him. I have respect for him and based on last night he obviously has respect for my wishes to not drink and even helped with a little reinforcement.
The other, I've worked very closely with for 28 years. We know each other fairly well and have seen each other grow and change thru life. He knows I loved my beer. Not the true extent of my drinking but we've drank together plenty of times. He is a good and honest person.
He was the one I had the most problem with, several times he offered to by me drinks or pour some wine or have a shooter. I had to reinforce my position with him. After awhile he did give up.
One other person - who was not a co-worker - started asking personal questions. When did I stop, how much did I drink, why did I stop. I wasn't prepared for that and didn't want to answer those types of questions. They quickly got the idea from my vague responses and stopped.
Other than that, the night was good. Nice meal, danced with my wife , talked with other couples and left around 10:30. I was proud to leave sober and drive home.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Good for you, ST. Holiday parties can be tricky. Great that you had a plan. Hold your ground when offered drinks. Eventually people get the idea and stop offering. As to questions, I simply say that my husband and I decided, for health, reasons, to stop drinking alcohol. Then, you can whip out your photo of a cirrhotic liver.
Kidding about the photo, not about the health reasons.
Kidding about the photo, not about the health reasons.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Sounds like you went in with a good plan, and handled both the better and the challenging parts of the whole thing well. Like hearing that you and your wife are on the same page here and worked together before hand!
I find I give different answers to different folks. I work in a restaurant and my boss and two of my managers know I am in AA (one mgr is a close friend who knows a LOT), as do the owners and VP. I am not unique in being in recovery; I have found a lot of support. Some co workers just know I don't drink, and I am sure don't care, others know some of my drinking behavior and easily see why I quit (I worked there last year while in my last and heaviest drinking days and was clearly alcoholic) and others know I am "officially" in recovery. Now, I find myself answering questions about it easily and am pretty open about being in AA when opportunity to answer questions in posed that way.
My first sponsor told me we never owe anyone info or an answer. My opinion is that this is true and in practicality, need to learn when, what and with whom to share. I think "fudging" as to reasons and in depth nature of your sobriety is more than acceptable.
Keep going! Keep up with plans and kudos again on handing some small curveballs.
I find I give different answers to different folks. I work in a restaurant and my boss and two of my managers know I am in AA (one mgr is a close friend who knows a LOT), as do the owners and VP. I am not unique in being in recovery; I have found a lot of support. Some co workers just know I don't drink, and I am sure don't care, others know some of my drinking behavior and easily see why I quit (I worked there last year while in my last and heaviest drinking days and was clearly alcoholic) and others know I am "officially" in recovery. Now, I find myself answering questions about it easily and am pretty open about being in AA when opportunity to answer questions in posed that way.
My first sponsor told me we never owe anyone info or an answer. My opinion is that this is true and in practicality, need to learn when, what and with whom to share. I think "fudging" as to reasons and in depth nature of your sobriety is more than acceptable.
Keep going! Keep up with plans and kudos again on handing some small curveballs.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by STDragon 
Other than that, the night was good. Nice meal, danced with my wife , talked with other couples and left around 10:30. I was proud to leave sober and drive home.
M-Bob
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 376
Great job STDragon! That is one of the best things you can do is to mentally prepare yourself for these events and the scenarios they will present. I always get myself mentally prepared and have my wife as my backup if needed. I do this for all events - even ones where everyone knows I quit drinking (you never know who else may pop in).
For all you newbies, prepare for the events and have your coping skill at the ready to keep you on the right path.
For all you newbies, prepare for the events and have your coping skill at the ready to keep you on the right path.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 625
"When did I stop, how much did I drink, why did I stop?"
Alcohol is the norm in only some environments, and it amuses me that no one ever asks "When did I start, how much did I drink, why did I start?"
Alcohol is the norm in only some environments, and it amuses me that no one ever asks "When did I start, how much did I drink, why did I start?"
Sober-T- Dragon
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,756
I Yea, I was really surprised by the questions. But in Hindsight, I should've known. One in our group turned vegetarian a year or so back and he still gets ribbed about it. It won't be coming from me anymore.
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