Mountainmanbob

I highly recommend the above as mentioned.
But, for me I also add occasional AA meetings and church.

It's been working good up top the mountain for 9 years now.

M-Bob

january161992

i need the face to face interaction that meetings provide

i then need to be of service and help God's kids

Fly N Buy

I stay sober by not consuming alcohol, today. I recover by following a plan that works for me.

Great job on 36 days! Seek out the support you need and to thine own self be true.

CAPTAINZING2000

There wasn't SR around when I got sober.
Jon Heller started this site in 2000.
2003 I was on another recovery site it shut down.
I was fortunate enough to find this site.

I personally need human contact with like minded people in recovery. My sponsor calls me on my b.s.
For people that don't have any recovery meetings close by or for a busy mother or father that can't get to a meeting, SR provides a way for them to work on their recovery or for the people with a loved one suffering from addictions.

If, SR is providing you with everything you need, good for you.
That being said, it never hurts to try a meeting.

tomsteve

when the big book was first published, people all over the US were getting sober with nothing more than putting the suggestions in the big book into action. there were no meetings anywhere. people in Chicago would take a train to akron for a meeting( i think once a month?).
people in other countries got sober with nothing but putting the suggestions into action. there were no meetings.

would they be dry drunks?
how many meetings would be necessary to not be considered a dry drunk?

meeting attendance or amount of meetings attended doesn't determine a persons mental, emotional, and spiritual recovery.

wpainterw

Freedom:
Well personally my experience has not been that unless I go to AA for the rest of my life I'm am a "dry drunk". But actually folks can call it anything they wish. The only thing I know is that I have not had a drink for 28 years and I never even think of booze even when I am under a lot of stress, which, because I'm almost 90 years old, I often have due to health issues both for me and my spouse. I went to AA (actually an Agnostics group although I'm neither agnostic nor atheist) sporadically (often at first) for about nine years. It helped a lot, really the support and companionship rather than any dogma, which the group didn't really have much anyway.. I didn't have SR in those days- no one had- and as you say it helps a lot of folks and I like the idea of helping others. I often analogize recovery to mountain climbing. It's safer, particularly for a newcomer, to have more experienced people on the rope in case you slip. And many do slip or relapse along the way. SR helps with relapses but it's also safer to have real person to person contact too. Good luck. Keep posting. It will help you and it will help others. As they say, "let's do it together!"

W.

Dee74

It's an absolute truism you'll get out of your recovery what you put in.

Rechannelling stubborness is fine but that's not the only thing I did - I worked a lot of myself too - I knew if I didn't change I'd remain that person who couldn't live without drinking...

D

FreedomCA

Thanks for all of the informative replies. Had a busy day today and can finally respond. I do think the main thing is for people in recovery to continue to grow, learn and work on themselves to increase their chances to cope with life and not feel compelled to pick up. I guess there are so many different options for people to work on themselves. And I agree with how someone earlier defined a dry person: someone who continued to be angry and discontent when not drinking. I am so much happier now that I am sober, and so I guess I would not define myself as dry. When my husband attempted quitting drinking a year ago, he became so angry and irritable, hence the word dry, and it therefore would have probably helped him to join a program since just quitting drinking was obviously not working or helping. And I agree that the more we put into recovery, the better our chances are of staying sober. SR is a great tool, however. It is an example of how technology has helped my life. I have the absolute worst sense of direction. But with the invention of Google Maps, I don't need to have a sense of direction and can get to wherever I want now. Just another example of "good technology."

Anna

I spent the first few years of my recovery relying on books for guidance. When I found SR in 2003, I began coming here every day and consider SR my lifeline.

ZenLifter

Freedom, this thread has been really helpful to me, so thank you. I try to follow 12 step principles without going to AA, due to negative experiences with meetings in the past. And I've always disliked the term "dry drunk." Speaking personally, I have always had problems with anger, from childhood on, long before I ever took a drink.

PurpleKnight

I primarily used SR in the beginning, and then only recently started to dabble with other things such as meetings etc.

I dunno what I should be called . . . but I do know I am Sober and life has been looking up ever since!!

teaorcoffee

He thought that aa was the only option was actually stopping me getting sober because I really don't want the whole aa thing. Finding SR was a godsend because I can drop in when I want and it gives me the flexibility to get support and also build the life I want to at the same time. That's not dry drunk. It's a happy sober person.

CAPTAINZING2000

I never imagined, years ago when I first got online using a windows 95 on dial up that I'd now be able to take SR with me on a phone.

For people living in rural areas where people can have constant contact with someone in recovery is a blessing.
I'm really reminded of this from a member on here living in Alberta Canada how grateful she was being in a blizzard, 40 miles from town that she was able to chat with another alcoholic.

NewRomanMan

I respectfully have to disagree with your definition of "Dry Drunk". It has nothing to do with rules or authority. It's simply a way to describe the lingering attitudes and actions of sober people who aren't happy with their sobriety. They still maintain some of the same characteristics as when they were drinking. Perhaps excessive anger, self pity, mean spiritedness, judgementalism, basically all of the negative behaviors that should see some amount of mitigation when someone is happy and content with their sobriety. A dry drunk basically is a sober alcoholic who isn't treating his/her disease, regardless of the method used (or not used).

FreedomCA

Glad you liked the thread. Similar to you, I guess that is what I do. I have learned the AA program, philosophy and principles in the past and am able to implement them on a daily basis without having to currently attend meetings. You are right about the anger, though. If I show any anger or temper at all, some people could be quick to judge me as dry, especially since I don't currently attend meetings. Similar to you, I have also struggled with anger since an early age before I started drinking at the age of 15.

Someone in an earlier post asked if I was in CA, and I forgot to respond. I am in CA.

soberlicious

Hi Freedom,
I very much dislike the term "dry drunk" as well. I think it's pejorative and dismissive. It amounts to name calling, which never serves any constructive purpose. While it may have an accepted definition, it is still tossed around too freely imo. I would think anyone who truly works a spiritual program would not feel comfortable applying the term to others, since it's really just a form of "taking someone's inventory". If they truly feel qualified to judge others in such a way, maybe they ought to revisit and rework a few steps themselves.

Living a positive and balanced life doesn't mean we never have emotions like anger. For me, being happy doesn't mean only having what are deemed as "positive" emotions 24/7. Being happy means accepting that I will experience the gamut of emotions that we as humans are capable of experiencing, but that I can observe and examine them and not let them rule me or drive me in a destructive manner.

For many people, quitting an addiction and making other life changes is a deeply personal undertaking. Personalities are different, and the way that people approach problems and solve them are very much based on our personalities. Some people need to talk to others, and some people need to work things out within themselves. Others may need some of both. Follow what feels right in your life and what brings you desired results.

PhoenixJ

Any resource I read, hear about and find.

Algorithm

I am abstinent, but my Beast, however, is quite the dry drunk, bar none. IT is restless, irritable, and chronically depressed without a drink.

Surely that was dismissive, and yet, possibly constructive, no?

Delilah1

I am one who also uses SR as the main part of y recovery. I had been on SR for a few years before quitting this last time, and what I think the biggest difference is I shifted y thinking from not drinking to recovery. I read, journal, exercise, work on mindfulness.. all of these things are part of y recovery. SR is my daily accountability though. I read, post, and learn every day.

Angie247

I am on day 25. I use SR and right now, I am going to see an addiction specialist/therapist once a week.