6 months after cutting back by half.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
Pretty sure this website is for those who have a desire to quit drinking or to continue to abstain. I don't find your post useful in way shape or form for this particular website. There may be moderation websites out there that this information would be more applicable to post.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 394
First of all, I envy you for losing weight just by cutting back. My top level was 3 to 4x a week and I gained weight. Still obsessed with losing as I was a calorie glutton. I am a lot like you. I want to be normal, especially because I suffer from no withdrawals. However, I obsess too much and alcohol has caused problems in my life so I am trying to get to the sober point. It has not stuck yet, and I test myself as well. While I can control for a large part, I still know my intake is still too much, me posting on this website is a huge clue and rationalizing with myself is part of the process. I have not kicked this for good yet. However, I know just cutting back, especially from a daily drinker while still indulging, does not seem healthy. Are you still getting drunk these nights?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
This is a very interesting discussion and it had me actually thinking maybe I could control my drinking but then I came to my senses and i know damn well I can't have just one drink....yeah one drink and it's game on for me also.....im enjoying sobriety so much guys honestly I could never turn back to the torture that alcohol put me through.....hey if you can control it god bless you.....i cant!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
It's everyone's free choice how they live their life, SR is a great place for accepting people at different stages of their journey.
As others have mentioned, don't mistake genuine caring, support and people trying to help as tearing down, as that's what a support group is all about, asking the difficult questions to ensure you've already asked those questions and not walking into anything without consideration.
SR is here to help!!
As others have mentioned, don't mistake genuine caring, support and people trying to help as tearing down, as that's what a support group is all about, asking the difficult questions to ensure you've already asked those questions and not walking into anything without consideration.
SR is here to help!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 114
Getting drunk 3 times a week is still way more than your average drinker. It seems as though you'vre convinced yourself that you have it under control, why even come back here and make a post about it if things are going so well? Because deep down you know things are actually not well and you're trying to justify your experiment. I've tried all of these tricks too in order to justify my drinking so I see right through it
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 114
OK, so I'm curious now. You stated in your OP that for the past 6 months, you've been getting drunk 3 nights per week. So that works out to roughly 72 drunken nights in 6 months, right?
Let's say you were really busy one of these weeks and forgot to get drunk one night so that you only got drunk 2 times that particular week. Do you operate using a "bank" system? Does that mean that now you've got 1 drunken-session in the bank and can use that next week to get drunk 4 times to average things out?
What if the situation is reversed and you forgot to keep track of your drunken nights and ended up getting drunk 5 times in 1 week? Does that mean that you're only going to get drunk 1 time the following week? What if on one of your drinking nights you weren't feeling well and only had 1 beer that night and went to bed? Certainly that doesn't count as one of your 3 drunk nights per week because you only had 1 beer, right? Special occasions were alcohol is involved probably don't count towards your weekly quota of 3 drunk nights per week either right?
Let's say you were really busy one of these weeks and forgot to get drunk one night so that you only got drunk 2 times that particular week. Do you operate using a "bank" system? Does that mean that now you've got 1 drunken-session in the bank and can use that next week to get drunk 4 times to average things out?
What if the situation is reversed and you forgot to keep track of your drunken nights and ended up getting drunk 5 times in 1 week? Does that mean that you're only going to get drunk 1 time the following week? What if on one of your drinking nights you weren't feeling well and only had 1 beer that night and went to bed? Certainly that doesn't count as one of your 3 drunk nights per week because you only had 1 beer, right? Special occasions were alcohol is involved probably don't count towards your weekly quota of 3 drunk nights per week either right?
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Great points and really interesting last one (good thoughts and questions there, juppe!). That bank idea strikes a chord with me- I know I can justify my I-didn't-eat-ice-cream-yesterday struggle that way!
Couple things....how are you now?
Second...it's been what, a week since you first posted? (Actually, just starting 5 days) How many drunks in the last week? Also, how are you tracking sober time? By this last one I mean - do you count days, weeks, months (obviously you know it is 6 and change, now)....my angle here is that one week is a lot out of 24, at least it was for me when I was literally counting every single day (now, at 9.5, I know within a day or two what it is and check about that often on my counter)- and being focused as I am on each month as a milestone.
You also haven't responded to anyone's posts and comments (unless I missed something) since your 1/2 OP on 11/30. Wondering why and how you took the clear responses of (as Dee said) support and concern. Makes me think.....hearing truth is still considered bashing to you. Could be wrong there, for sure, as I cannot take your inventory (my AA mind, and all that). I know I sure didn't listen to people's truths and warnings and fears for me....til I did, and discovered how oh-so-right everyone was. Thank God I finally listened.
Like others, hope you keep doing well. My thoughts also veer into the territory of "you could do a lot better [ ie feel, perform, think] without ANY drunks" and....classic alcoholic thinking here that keeps you, as someone said, on the proverbial fence. It was a huge load off my shoulders (among other blessings) when I just put down my cross.
Good luck.
Couple things....how are you now?
Second...it's been what, a week since you first posted? (Actually, just starting 5 days) How many drunks in the last week? Also, how are you tracking sober time? By this last one I mean - do you count days, weeks, months (obviously you know it is 6 and change, now)....my angle here is that one week is a lot out of 24, at least it was for me when I was literally counting every single day (now, at 9.5, I know within a day or two what it is and check about that often on my counter)- and being focused as I am on each month as a milestone.
You also haven't responded to anyone's posts and comments (unless I missed something) since your 1/2 OP on 11/30. Wondering why and how you took the clear responses of (as Dee said) support and concern. Makes me think.....hearing truth is still considered bashing to you. Could be wrong there, for sure, as I cannot take your inventory (my AA mind, and all that). I know I sure didn't listen to people's truths and warnings and fears for me....til I did, and discovered how oh-so-right everyone was. Thank God I finally listened.
Like others, hope you keep doing well. My thoughts also veer into the territory of "you could do a lot better [ ie feel, perform, think] without ANY drunks" and....classic alcoholic thinking here that keeps you, as someone said, on the proverbial fence. It was a huge load off my shoulders (among other blessings) when I just put down my cross.
Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: bradford, england
Posts: 110
Not sure I can reply to all the questions, and apologies for taking so long to reply at all-I haven't been here in a while-hope someone is still checking and this isn't going out to nowhere! (And I'm a 'she' by the way!)
To Soberween:
I apologise. I am/was an alcoholic and this is part of my journey. I wanted to share it. I was well aware that it wouldn't be welcome by all which is partly why I was very defensive in it (bashing etc). I am sorry if I offended or upset anyone, that was not my intention. I completely understand that this may be seen as almost a 'trigger' post and that some may read it and want a drink. I personally have read some things on SR that others have felt that way about, but I wasn't affected in that way, and to make my point I had to be truthful which some will see as a trigger. Apologies again, that was not my intention at all, and I am not encouraging anyone to do anything other than what they feel is right.
To Juppe:
I came to say what I did as I often had thoughts of cutting back/moderation and was told time and time again on here that it is impossible, which really demoralised me and made me think 'what's the point?'. (Before you start, I felt that way because my thoughts didn't seem valued at all, at a time when I already felt utterly worthless, not because I couldn't imagine life without alcohol.) I came to tell people that, yes, it can be possible for some. I don't want others feeling as I did-that it's pointless to even try. I am not saying everyone should go for moderation, and I aren't saying everyone could manage it (I have read enough stories on here to know that isn't true)-I'm just saying don't completely throw the idea out of the window. I thought it might be possible and now I know it is possible, but I had to overcome lots of what I viewed as negativity and 'don't even attempt it!' replies to get here.
I did have some sort of 'bank' system. I drink on Fridays, Saturdays and Tuesdays, and if I missed, say, the Tuesday session, I would drink on the Wednesday instead, so it was still 3 nights a week. I don't do that anymore, haven't for a few months now. And I never drink more than the three nights a week, no matter what. So there is no 'Oh, I will drink on Thursday and take it from next weeks days'-that doesn't happen.
It really does bother me when I am told that drinking three nights a week is still alcoholic behaviour. I can understand the point being made but I know many, many people who drink more than that and they are just considered to be having fun. I also know many people who do say 'Ah, I really shouldn't drink tonight' or 'I drank too much last night-never again' and you could say they are questioning their drinking and are therefore alcoholics, but many people do/say these things and never become alcoholics, or just grow out of drinking or whatever. Why the difference? I know, I did become/am an alcoholic but I really don't subscribe to the whole 'alcoholic for life' thing (I'm not saying it isn't true, just that I don't quite believe it yet). Sooo many people spend their college/uni years drinking their lives away, then get past it and go on with their lives. Maybe some of us never got those care-free years, so live it out in our own self-pitying way, but can still get out of it, just like those college people, although I reckon it's a heck of a lot harder. I really don't know, but some of these messages do not seem 'supportive', they seem like attacks, which is partly why I was so defensive. I am not meaning to offend anyone here, so I would appreciate not being offended in return.
As for the actual alcohol intake-it's beer, always beer. I used to drink 8 cans a night every night. Since I cut back, I drink about 6/7 cans a night on Fridays and Saturdays (lower tolerance now?) and Tuesdays I manage about 4/5 before giving up. So, no, I don't consume more than I used to, or even the same amount-it is definitely half/even less than half the amount, and they are not stronger drinks. Good point though. I forget others drink different things-but it's only beer for me.
I am still at this 'experiment', and am finding I am naturally still cutting back even more, bit by bit. So it is still working for me so far (only, what, 8 months in now? Not long in the grand scheme of things, I know, but a heck of a long time for someone who thought they would be drunk forever).
'Pretty sure this website is for those who have a desire to quit drinking or to continue to abstain. I don't find your post useful in way shape or form for this particular website.'-I totally get your point but see, this is (also) partly why I was defensive. Why is it your way or the highway? Why am I not allowed to ask questions/share experiences? On SR almost every night there are people saying they fell off the wagon/will drink tonight-so much rawer stuff than I have put up, and yet they get utter support. I say 'moderation' and get slammed. I don't get it.
'It seems as though you'vre convinced yourself that you have it under control, why even come back here and make a post about it if things are going so well? Because deep down you know things are actually not well and you're trying to justify your experiment'-I came here to say what I did because I felt very alone and actually sometimes very unsupported on SR; I wanted to say to others who felt as I did that I am supportive of your endeavours however ill-fated they may seem. Everyone is entitled to feel supported no matter their views or opinions. I'm trying to help others in a way that I didn't feel I was myself. Some won't like it-I didn't like the way I was supported but I had to make do with what I got. I am sorry if you don't like it, I'm just saying my piece and I apologise if that doesn't fit with anyones expectations. I understand (many of) you guys have been at this longer than I have, have fallen much harder than I ever did and are now on the other side-you don't want anyone to go through what you did, so because moderation didn't work for you, you push this idea of 'quit, quit, just quit!' on newbies, but I do think other ways should also be considered for some. If someone feels they could moderate then why not try? I wasn't happy drinking all the time, I wasn't happy never drinking (I did that 'experiment' a few times too), but I have now found a balance where I am happy. Maybe others can too.
Lastly, what is it with this 'voice' (AV-is that what it's called?). I do have a mind of my own here, hello? I am a person who is definitely controlled by alcohol to some extent, but aren't the students who get wasted before a big exam? Aren't 30-odds who get 'need' to have a wild night after a hard day at work? Aren't the moms who are dying for a glass of wine after putting the kids to bed? Aren't the 60 year olds who have sherry before bed? We all are. That doesn't mean alcohol is completely in control of our every thought and action.
It's late and I have a bed to get to, so again, apologies for any offence I may have caused (and I didn't know moderation sites even existed?!-will look into that at some point). Just came to update. Hope I never need this site again, but if I do, I look forward to you guys all telling me it was bound to fail(!). Sorry if I didn't reply to someone and really, I apologise again to anyone who I may have offended. Just part of my journey-if you don't like it, please just move on. That's what I do, don't need any negativity here I appreciate the support that is coming through. I aren't naive enough to think I have it all figured out, and I appreciate that I can come back here if/when I need to. (The really bad thing is that I feel the need to say something along the lines of 'I'm sure I will fall off the wagon at some point' (as I pretty much did just above) and that makes me feel like, 'why do I feel so great with life until I come on this site when suddenly my confidence takes a nose-dive?' There is nothing wrong with thinking I am okay now. Maybe I am wrong, but then again maybe you are.)
That will do. Good night
To Soberween:
I apologise. I am/was an alcoholic and this is part of my journey. I wanted to share it. I was well aware that it wouldn't be welcome by all which is partly why I was very defensive in it (bashing etc). I am sorry if I offended or upset anyone, that was not my intention. I completely understand that this may be seen as almost a 'trigger' post and that some may read it and want a drink. I personally have read some things on SR that others have felt that way about, but I wasn't affected in that way, and to make my point I had to be truthful which some will see as a trigger. Apologies again, that was not my intention at all, and I am not encouraging anyone to do anything other than what they feel is right.
To Juppe:
I came to say what I did as I often had thoughts of cutting back/moderation and was told time and time again on here that it is impossible, which really demoralised me and made me think 'what's the point?'. (Before you start, I felt that way because my thoughts didn't seem valued at all, at a time when I already felt utterly worthless, not because I couldn't imagine life without alcohol.) I came to tell people that, yes, it can be possible for some. I don't want others feeling as I did-that it's pointless to even try. I am not saying everyone should go for moderation, and I aren't saying everyone could manage it (I have read enough stories on here to know that isn't true)-I'm just saying don't completely throw the idea out of the window. I thought it might be possible and now I know it is possible, but I had to overcome lots of what I viewed as negativity and 'don't even attempt it!' replies to get here.
I did have some sort of 'bank' system. I drink on Fridays, Saturdays and Tuesdays, and if I missed, say, the Tuesday session, I would drink on the Wednesday instead, so it was still 3 nights a week. I don't do that anymore, haven't for a few months now. And I never drink more than the three nights a week, no matter what. So there is no 'Oh, I will drink on Thursday and take it from next weeks days'-that doesn't happen.
It really does bother me when I am told that drinking three nights a week is still alcoholic behaviour. I can understand the point being made but I know many, many people who drink more than that and they are just considered to be having fun. I also know many people who do say 'Ah, I really shouldn't drink tonight' or 'I drank too much last night-never again' and you could say they are questioning their drinking and are therefore alcoholics, but many people do/say these things and never become alcoholics, or just grow out of drinking or whatever. Why the difference? I know, I did become/am an alcoholic but I really don't subscribe to the whole 'alcoholic for life' thing (I'm not saying it isn't true, just that I don't quite believe it yet). Sooo many people spend their college/uni years drinking their lives away, then get past it and go on with their lives. Maybe some of us never got those care-free years, so live it out in our own self-pitying way, but can still get out of it, just like those college people, although I reckon it's a heck of a lot harder. I really don't know, but some of these messages do not seem 'supportive', they seem like attacks, which is partly why I was so defensive. I am not meaning to offend anyone here, so I would appreciate not being offended in return.
As for the actual alcohol intake-it's beer, always beer. I used to drink 8 cans a night every night. Since I cut back, I drink about 6/7 cans a night on Fridays and Saturdays (lower tolerance now?) and Tuesdays I manage about 4/5 before giving up. So, no, I don't consume more than I used to, or even the same amount-it is definitely half/even less than half the amount, and they are not stronger drinks. Good point though. I forget others drink different things-but it's only beer for me.
I am still at this 'experiment', and am finding I am naturally still cutting back even more, bit by bit. So it is still working for me so far (only, what, 8 months in now? Not long in the grand scheme of things, I know, but a heck of a long time for someone who thought they would be drunk forever).
'Pretty sure this website is for those who have a desire to quit drinking or to continue to abstain. I don't find your post useful in way shape or form for this particular website.'-I totally get your point but see, this is (also) partly why I was defensive. Why is it your way or the highway? Why am I not allowed to ask questions/share experiences? On SR almost every night there are people saying they fell off the wagon/will drink tonight-so much rawer stuff than I have put up, and yet they get utter support. I say 'moderation' and get slammed. I don't get it.
'It seems as though you'vre convinced yourself that you have it under control, why even come back here and make a post about it if things are going so well? Because deep down you know things are actually not well and you're trying to justify your experiment'-I came here to say what I did because I felt very alone and actually sometimes very unsupported on SR; I wanted to say to others who felt as I did that I am supportive of your endeavours however ill-fated they may seem. Everyone is entitled to feel supported no matter their views or opinions. I'm trying to help others in a way that I didn't feel I was myself. Some won't like it-I didn't like the way I was supported but I had to make do with what I got. I am sorry if you don't like it, I'm just saying my piece and I apologise if that doesn't fit with anyones expectations. I understand (many of) you guys have been at this longer than I have, have fallen much harder than I ever did and are now on the other side-you don't want anyone to go through what you did, so because moderation didn't work for you, you push this idea of 'quit, quit, just quit!' on newbies, but I do think other ways should also be considered for some. If someone feels they could moderate then why not try? I wasn't happy drinking all the time, I wasn't happy never drinking (I did that 'experiment' a few times too), but I have now found a balance where I am happy. Maybe others can too.
Lastly, what is it with this 'voice' (AV-is that what it's called?). I do have a mind of my own here, hello? I am a person who is definitely controlled by alcohol to some extent, but aren't the students who get wasted before a big exam? Aren't 30-odds who get 'need' to have a wild night after a hard day at work? Aren't the moms who are dying for a glass of wine after putting the kids to bed? Aren't the 60 year olds who have sherry before bed? We all are. That doesn't mean alcohol is completely in control of our every thought and action.
It's late and I have a bed to get to, so again, apologies for any offence I may have caused (and I didn't know moderation sites even existed?!-will look into that at some point). Just came to update. Hope I never need this site again, but if I do, I look forward to you guys all telling me it was bound to fail(!). Sorry if I didn't reply to someone and really, I apologise again to anyone who I may have offended. Just part of my journey-if you don't like it, please just move on. That's what I do, don't need any negativity here
I appreciate the support that is coming through. I aren't naive enough to think I have it all figured out, and I appreciate that I can come back here if/when I need to. (The really bad thing is that I feel the need to say something along the lines of 'I'm sure I will fall off the wagon at some point' (as I pretty much did just above) and that makes me feel like, 'why do I feel so great with life until I come on this site when suddenly my confidence takes a nose-dive?' There is nothing wrong with thinking I am okay now. Maybe I am wrong, but then again maybe you are.)That will do. Good night
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Smadams. I'm glad moderating is working for you, though the amount you drink now would still not be considered healthy by our UK guidelines - 16-18 cans of beer a week would be significantly in excess of the recommended maximum alcohol intake for a man here (it would be twice the recommended maximum intake if you are drinking 500ml cans of 5% beer). You may be kidding yourself if you think you are not still putting yourself at significant risk of long term health effects.
I think trying moderation is something many of us have tried. It didn't work out for me, but if you are happy drinking the amount you do then more power to you.
As others have said, SR will be here for you if ever you do find moderation (though, as I have said, UK doctors would not consider you a moderate drinker) is no longer possible or desirable. You may get to a point where you see moderation as good but sobriety as even better!
P.S. If you haven't seen the NHS guidelines they are here. You may want to moderate your reduced intake further if you wish to stay within the recommended maximum alcohol intake. I am afraid the NHS would not consider you a 'moderate drinker'.....
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/alcohol/P...hol-units.aspx
I think trying moderation is something many of us have tried. It didn't work out for me, but if you are happy drinking the amount you do then more power to you.
As others have said, SR will be here for you if ever you do find moderation (though, as I have said, UK doctors would not consider you a moderate drinker) is no longer possible or desirable. You may get to a point where you see moderation as good but sobriety as even better!
P.S. If you haven't seen the NHS guidelines they are here. You may want to moderate your reduced intake further if you wish to stay within the recommended maximum alcohol intake. I am afraid the NHS would not consider you a 'moderate drinker'.....
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/alcohol/P...hol-units.aspx
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Smad,
I'm sure someone has already said it....you are still heavily addicted.
Your brain is still desperately in need of booze.
The units consumed are over the recommended limit. You are binge drinking.
At this point you are not ready to quit. I totally get it.
You have to want to quit. Otherwise, nothing anyone can say will stop you.
Unless you are forced to quit..e.g. incarceration...you will drink your brains out.
My drunk buddy is so heavily addicted that he slurs his words...all day long.
His addict mind tells him it is cool....all the sober people are stuck w this drunk...until something happens.
Thanks for the post.
I remember well exactly being like you.
I'm sure someone has already said it....you are still heavily addicted.
Your brain is still desperately in need of booze.
The units consumed are over the recommended limit. You are binge drinking.
At this point you are not ready to quit. I totally get it.
You have to want to quit. Otherwise, nothing anyone can say will stop you.
Unless you are forced to quit..e.g. incarceration...you will drink your brains out.
My drunk buddy is so heavily addicted that he slurs his words...all day long.
His addict mind tells him it is cool....all the sober people are stuck w this drunk...until something happens.
Thanks for the post.
I remember well exactly being like you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 780
Well, let us know how it's going in another six months. Doesn't work for most of us, although I don't think your level of drinking is "moderate". Good luck to ya; always good when someone is drinking less than they were.
I had a nice 8 month period of moderation about 18 years ago. Didn't last.
I had a nice 8 month period of moderation about 18 years ago. Didn't last.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I can't apologise for this site not championing moderation.
Several of my friends have died trying to moderate.
I hope you find the kind of support you're looking for on moderation sites smadams.
good luck.
D
Several of my friends have died trying to moderate.
I hope you find the kind of support you're looking for on moderation sites smadams.
good luck.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 106
Really enjoyed your post smadams. It took a lot of raw energy and courage.
Like some of the posters above, I don't think judgement is right. "Judge not lest ye be judged," as it goes. I'm not super religious, but I believe there is wisdom there.
I think if you are able to drink in moderation, despite previously being an alcoholic, that is great and you should go for it if that is what you want to do.
For most here, though, that is not possible. It would be like walking a tightrope between skyscrapers in NYC. We would make it only so far, for only so long, before we slip. How many days is it okay to drink, how much, just beer or would liquor be okay? Wine? When is that point crossed when the drinking-in-moderation becomes, once more, alcoholic drinking? If at all? If you start experiencing withdrawal symptoms again? Or if the 3 days turns into everyday?
Consider me Switzerland. Not trying to knock you down, just want the best for you. I've tried moderation, in many forms. Hasn't exactly worked for me. I'm about a month sober myself (this time) -- a little over -- but I don't think I'll ever be able to drink again, "in moderation."
Doesn't mean we shouldn't be happy. Just means we need to find out how to be happy without alcohol -- at least I do. For me, it's life or death. I will die if I continue to drink. Liver will fail. Perhaps not after a long period of healing, then moderation. But the risk ain't worth the reward...
Like some of the posters above, I don't think judgement is right. "Judge not lest ye be judged," as it goes. I'm not super religious, but I believe there is wisdom there.
I think if you are able to drink in moderation, despite previously being an alcoholic, that is great and you should go for it if that is what you want to do.
For most here, though, that is not possible. It would be like walking a tightrope between skyscrapers in NYC. We would make it only so far, for only so long, before we slip. How many days is it okay to drink, how much, just beer or would liquor be okay? Wine? When is that point crossed when the drinking-in-moderation becomes, once more, alcoholic drinking? If at all? If you start experiencing withdrawal symptoms again? Or if the 3 days turns into everyday?
Consider me Switzerland. Not trying to knock you down, just want the best for you. I've tried moderation, in many forms. Hasn't exactly worked for me. I'm about a month sober myself (this time) -- a little over -- but I don't think I'll ever be able to drink again, "in moderation."
Doesn't mean we shouldn't be happy. Just means we need to find out how to be happy without alcohol -- at least I do. For me, it's life or death. I will die if I continue to drink. Liver will fail. Perhaps not after a long period of healing, then moderation. But the risk ain't worth the reward...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 142
Originally Posted by Michael66 
Smadams. I'm glad moderating is working for you, though the amount you drink now would still not be considered healthy by our UK guidelines - 16-18 cans of beer a week would be significantly in excess of the recommended maximum alcohol intake for a man here (it would be twice the recommended maximum intake if you are drinking 500ml cans of 5% beer). You may be kidding yourself if you think you are not still putting yourself at significant risk of long term health effects.
I think trying moderation is something many of us have tried. It didn't work out for me, but if you are happy drinking the amount you do then more power to you.
As others have said, SR will be here for you if ever you do find moderation (though, as I have said, UK doctors would not consider you a moderate drinker) is no longer possible or desirable. You may get to a point where you see moderation as good but sobriety as even better!
P.S. If you haven't seen the NHS guidelines they are here. You may want to moderate your reduced intake further if you wish to stay within the recommended maximum alcohol intake. I am afraid the NHS would not consider you a 'moderate drinker'.....
Alcohol units - Live Well - NHS Choices
I think trying moderation is something many of us have tried. It didn't work out for me, but if you are happy drinking the amount you do then more power to you.
As others have said, SR will be here for you if ever you do find moderation (though, as I have said, UK doctors would not consider you a moderate drinker) is no longer possible or desirable. You may get to a point where you see moderation as good but sobriety as even better!
P.S. If you haven't seen the NHS guidelines they are here. You may want to moderate your reduced intake further if you wish to stay within the recommended maximum alcohol intake. I am afraid the NHS would not consider you a 'moderate drinker'.....
Alcohol units - Live Well - NHS Choices
Although I'm a bit of a newbie here, smadams, I can't help but agree with Michael and Dee and a couple of others...the amounts you described are definitely not moderation. I tried to hold that level for years and wound up almost killing myself slowly.
Maybe you are the exception, and if so, more power to you. It's your life and your choices.
At 27 I had all the bravado in the world; now, in my mid-30s, alcohol has kicked my backside all up and down the road so badly that if I go back to drinking, I'm pretty darn sure I'll die or wind up in a psych ward. I have two kids and I don't think they want to bury their daddy.
I'm just sayin. I do wish the best for you.
ABW1
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Thanks for your posts. I enjoyed reading about your experience. I wish you nothing but the best.
I have been sober for 14 months. I know that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, moderation would not work for me. I also strongly believe this to be true for the overwhelming majority of alcoholics. As such, I hope that you can understand that folks here are both skeptical and cautious. The skepticism is based upon evidence. My guess is that if you spent enough time you would find hundreds, probably thousands, of failed attempts at moderation for every "success" story. I'm not going to quibble with whether yours is a success, but even assuming it is, the odds of this working for others is very small. Which leads to the cautious aspect of these posts. The vast majority of people with significant recovery time feel that it is irresponsible to give false hope to the lurker who is reading about this stuff for the first time.
I welcome science and evidence. I do sometimes feel that recovering alcoholics are the last ones to embrace the idea that new methods of recovery are out there and that we will perhaps one day find a medical cure that allows alcoholics to drink safely. So I at least see some of your perspective. But at this point in time, I don't think such a program exists that has any realistic chance of widespread success. It may very well continue to work for you, and I hope it does; abstinence is right for me and it is almost certainly the best option for most alcoholics.
Anyway, good luck to you. Keep us updated on your story.
I have been sober for 14 months. I know that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, moderation would not work for me. I also strongly believe this to be true for the overwhelming majority of alcoholics. As such, I hope that you can understand that folks here are both skeptical and cautious. The skepticism is based upon evidence. My guess is that if you spent enough time you would find hundreds, probably thousands, of failed attempts at moderation for every "success" story. I'm not going to quibble with whether yours is a success, but even assuming it is, the odds of this working for others is very small. Which leads to the cautious aspect of these posts. The vast majority of people with significant recovery time feel that it is irresponsible to give false hope to the lurker who is reading about this stuff for the first time.
I welcome science and evidence. I do sometimes feel that recovering alcoholics are the last ones to embrace the idea that new methods of recovery are out there and that we will perhaps one day find a medical cure that allows alcoholics to drink safely. So I at least see some of your perspective. But at this point in time, I don't think such a program exists that has any realistic chance of widespread success. It may very well continue to work for you, and I hope it does; abstinence is right for me and it is almost certainly the best option for most alcoholics.
Anyway, good luck to you. Keep us updated on your story.
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