Brick by Brick
 

yeah, this will be long. For those that know me some of this will be repetitive. About a year and half ago my life changed forever, I was drunk, fell down in my house and hurt myself pretty bad. Spent 2 weeks in hospital, months in a wheelchair, then a walker etc... healing time was a full year.

I had a lot of time to think about everything, and at times it was pretty deep. I needed to dig myself out of a huge hole and it was going to require my full attention. Early on I made some pretty heavy decisions, I sold my company, I decided I needed (and wanted) to forever stop drinking alcohol, I wanted to address some things around my house that had been neglected and I wanted to get (seriously) healthy again.

I started with nothing. I did not have my health, I did not have a job (my business), I had a house that needed major upkeep to hold its value, I was overweight and out of shape, I was probably developing an opiate addiction and was probably a bit depressed and overwhelmed.

I started with the basics, get myself healthy with physical therapy and get involved with things to abide my time. Then I addressed the house, then I put myself through real estate school and passed my exams, then bought $100 worth of weights off craigslist and started working out in the basement. Things were progressing pretty well, although I admittedly was dragging my feet on some minor things. Then we had a couple setbacks over the last month. My wife totaled both of our vehicles, I got very sick, I lost all my data on both my computers, and I'm sure there was some other things in there.

This triggered me to add some more layers of bricks on my foundation of life. First was getting the vehicle situation resolved, so we got a new one, and we'll buy a used one with the insurance check. This gave me a boost of optimism. Since I'm a tight-a$$ our vehicles were old but we owed nothing. But I have to admit, driving around in a new car is nice, and "feels good". This brick triggered/pushed me to start getting active in real estate again (another brick), then just Monday I joined a gym (another brick). I was almost a professional bodybuilder in the 90's and have not been in a gym since 2000. I have said recently I'm on a health kick, well I want my "kick" to last until I'm 60 yrs old, that's my goal. I have reengaged with SR (another brick) in order to keep my recovery in check and a high priority. These last few layers of bricks have really propelled my confidence and self worth. I have been the busiest I've been since I got hurt.

So, I have a long ways to go but as long as the trajectory keeps going up, I'm ok with it. I started with literally nothing, and for the second time in my life, I'm attempting to rebuild the whole works from scratch. I have no idea if I will succeed, but I know I will give it my all. And as corny as it sounds, the good people on this site have been instrumental in providing motivation to keep adding bricks to my foundation.

ps. I don't know if this helps anyone, but it helps me just to type it out. Therapeutic.

Thank you Thomas, it does help. Your onl going to work out until your 60?

Great read! I agree the more you invest in yourself, the better you start to treat yourself. If we put in time in the gym or in exercising, we start watching what we eat. Conversely, we drink heavily, we don't exercise, eat whatever, any interest in ones health goes out the window. Anyways, hope you keep getting better!

Thomas, it's great that you are showing up and doing what you can do to move forward. I'm glad you're not allowing things to overwhelm you. It sounds like you're seeking balance in your life and that's something that's very important to me.

Fantastic post, Jeff, fantastic!!!! I am so happy for you.

Just dawned on me I did a brick by brick post before, but the title still holds true. I'm still building that foundation. Now I gotta go workout and then show a house!

Awesome, Jeff! I really like how you use your challenges to set new goals and work towards them :) This is certainly a healthy reaction to difficulties, quite different from the escaping we tend to do when we engage in our addictions. Inspiring read.

Fantastic Jeff!! :You_Rock_

your avatar matches your post VERY nicely......maybe a bit more Stone by Stone, but same message!!!

Jeff-it sounds like you are making some wonderful changes in your life that will really make a difference. Keep it up! I enjoy your posts, so keep posting.

Lovely post Jeff , just what I needed to read .

very helpful. thank you for the post

Thanks for sharing Jeff :)

D

Thank you.

Good for you, sir!

Many people would have just kept on drinking in those circumstances.

Indeed, long term illness is actually considered a warning sign by many addictions counselors, on the assumption that long term pain provides a ready-made impetus for addiction.

Great post Jeff! I say you kick up the workouts until at least 100, no stopping g you at 60!

That's terrific, Jeff! Instead of using the injury as an excuse to drink you used it as fuel to supercharge your life. Well done!:scoregood

Thank you!
 

Reading your thread has made me realize I haven't set goals or held hope for dreams in many many years.
I am at that place in life of being for the most part content, although I still suffer from depression (genetic, and not circumstantial)
I pursue hobbies, have a good business with plenty of work, a decent marriage, comfortable financially, enjoy a wonderful social circle with great support.
Both parents, a sibling and my only child have passed on, and I do try to set bounderies with ours regarding responsibilities. We travel. Have a nice home. My work is very physical; so am in decent shape.
I guess my only aspirations now would be spiritual. Being a better person. Doing something significant in this life to help others less fortunate.
I dont know where I am going with this.
Maybe I am rudderless.
I have been a chronic relapser in the past and could never figure out why.
Your post just sparked a question within myself.
Do I need a goal, project, am I bored?

Hi storminormi, First, I'm sorry to hear about the losses of your parents, sibling and only child.

My life was quite similar to yours. I was a landscape contractor, and I was plugging away, and I guess my only goal was basically the same as yours....be a better person. But what does that mean? I was rudderless, drinking way too much, but as long as we made ends meet, I saw no reason to change anything.

I don't know the answer to your question but I will share this. The only reason I have done what I have done is because I was forced to. Metaphorically they say you need to learn to walk before you run, I literally needed to learn to walk before I could do a damn thing. I guess I thought since I was starting from nothing with myself, I might as well overhaul my life. So I am.

I think its hard for guys like us, if things are going pretty well, why mess with the formula?

How ironic. I am also a landscaper.
I am female.
My initials are NAM ( not a man) LOL. I have always been mistaken for a male.

I went to a treatment centre 7 years ago which specialized in dual diagnosis patients.
I was drinking to drown my grief and had suicidal ideations.
It worked, btw ;)
While there, a crack addicted violent intimidating fellow patient asked me if there was anything I was afraid of. (He had tried to scare the bejesus out of everyone, and I had stood up to him)
I said, Buddy- I have already walked through the valley of hell and nothing is going to take me back there.
Unfortunately, or fortunately ( depending on how you look at it) any experience in life after the death of a child is a cakewalk.
Bad health, loss of freedom, financial wellbeing, marriage, even death has not appeared to motivate me.

What has recently been working for me is love and kindness.
Feeling emotionally attached again.
I hadnt fully realized it; for the past eight years- I checked out emotionally.
A psychiatrist at the rehab centre told me I had inpenerable emotional defences.

I have prayed a lot for God to bring down these walls so that I would enjoy emotional attachment again in my life.
I suppose my prayers are being answered, brick by brick.
Thank you for your reply Jeff.
Love always wins.