vulturine

Twenty days sober now. I've been walking about 13-17km every day with the dog. This nice weather won't last long though, so I'm probably going to hibernate for three months eventually. I found 10 new parks and trails in my area that I wouldn't have discovered without pokemon go. The dog and I walked over 200km already. She has a dog smile on her face right now.

I haven't felt like talking to my boyfriend. I want him to initiate conversations more often so my ignoring him has more of an effect. Is that BPD thinking? I'm angry because he got my hopes up, only to disappoint me, and then I started thinking about all the other crap he said he'd do which never ended up happening. Like paying for the plastic surgery on the third degree burns he gave me on my arm. That was supposed to be fixed years ago. He's always bitching about me punching him, but he literally dislocated my jaw and scarred me for life on purpose.

DaisyShine

Holy ****, I only read the last half of what you wrote and omg! Thank f@$k for sites like these - I'm goin through a time myself and this is all I have!

DaisyShine

I'm at 25 days so we're pretty close!

Ambuler

20 days sober is amazing. Focus on that

I'm sorry he did that crap to you...Perhaps the fact that you don't want to talk to him is saying something?

At least keep some space for a sec to figure it out.

I'm BPD too, so, yeah...the ignoring is you trying to convince him to initiate. I do the same thing with my SO...

StormiNormi

I wouldnt him free rent in my head, if I were you.
That is valuable realestate and it is appreciating in value everyday of sobriety you put between you and him.
Congratulations on 20 days! Bravo!!

Delilah1

Hi Vulturine,

Great job in 20 days. As for the boyfriend, I really hope he is an ex. There is absolutely no excuse for what he did, you deserve to be treated with respect, and there should never be anything physical.

Dee74

I really hope he's an ex too Vulturine. You deserve better.

D

Plenny

Burns... sounds like a deal breaker. What does BPD mean? Take care vulturine, glad you are taking space.

vulturine

I'm having some pretty serious computer problems right now with this site, and apps in general. I'm dumb when it comes to buying things, then leaving them in the box for months only to discover a broken product when I need it. My previous signature was "I'm bad at replying to my posts, but I read through the thread" or something similar. Something about forums is frustrating.

BDP is borderline personality disorder, which may or may not be an actual thing depending on who you talk to. Apparently it's just a problem you deal with and wait out, if you don't end up dead or incarcerated.

Plenny

Got it. Yes I'm pretty sure my mom is BPD.

Not entirely sure I understand it, but I've had therapists assign that label to her.

Well it's good you're here responding now.

Steely

Agree with Dee, and wouldn't go near him with a barge pole Vulturine he sounds dangerous. As Plenny said, burns, broken jaw....deal breaker, for sure. Do you need him, like economically or something? Rent, etc?

Sometimes, I think, don't know, that BPD can have a person put up with stuff that other people would not allow in a million years.

And then there's people like me without BPD (I've got other shite), who put up with stuff that others would never entertain in a million years either. They actually KNOW they deserve better.

You're safe here, Vulturine.

Nowsthetime

Hello:

If you had a daughter in your situation what would you say to her.

Burns on purpose, broken jaw???

In your heart you know this isn't right for you or anyone. What positives does he bring into your life?

Stay strong V! You are worth it!

january161992

20 days !!!

God bless vulturine

Anna

Vulturine, I hope you never see or talk to this guy again. You deserve so much more and he should not be allowed near you (or any other woman).
You can get help in an emergency, in a crisis, or anytime that you experience abuse. You can get help in many ways:

Call the police for emergency protection.
Go to a hospital or tell your doctor.

Assaulted Women's Helpline - Call if you experience abuse or if you have a crisis. You can call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
In Ontario: 1-866-863-0511
In Toronto: 416-863-0511

Other Areas of Canada: http://www.hotpeachpages.net/

vulturine

Nah guys, I'm just mad because my arm looks crappy and he promised to help me with the plastic surgery. I told him, either I get to burn him with a 2000 degree blow torch and scar him for life, or he helps me with scar revision surgery. That seems fair, right? I was the one who kept on getting arrested for domestic violence over the years though. Neither of us is a victim. Just a lot of aggression and passive-aggressive problem resolutions.

DontRemember

If someone did that to my daughter...They'd cease to be 'someone'..Just saying. That's unacceptable.

Algorithm

That doesn't sound fair to me. He should pay for the plastic surgery, and quite possibly other restitution, regardless. Nobody should be maiming anyone, certainly not with blow torches.

Anna

I think you are wrong. Both of you are victims and I hope that you both seek help to deal with the violence in your lives.

Leaflet

You might want to find a therapist to help you work through the BPD and domestic violence issues. BPD can lead to pretty volatile relationships, and it helps to have someone to talk to about this stuff. I have a family member with BPD, and therapy helped her tremendously. Getting sober really helps too, so great job taking care of yourself!